EDIT: YES, it is OKAY to have Boundaries for yourself. Of course.
your sister is showing her character. Putting you in bad light... to your Dad. She is jockeying for herself... and making you look bad and making herself look "good."
My sibling did that to me too, when my Dad was ill and before he died.
THUS.... you need to look out. And keep your wits about you. Your sibling, if like mine, simply did that out of greed and selfishness and because she wanted to inherit everything.
My Dad knew though. He told me. He knew what my sibling was doing.
But the thing is, my Dad is now gone. BUT, my sibling now does that with my Mom... who is still alive. My Sibling... tried to make me look bad or plays up to my Mom and kisses up to her. All because, SHE wants things for herself. It is about her. Not me. Not about family. It is just plain greed.
Thus, I still cannot "trust" my sibling completely. Because, she has shown her character... and that she'd be willing to leave me out cold... to get what she can or inherit.
People like that, won't change. You cannot change them.
So, be WISE.
They don't care how much you toil and do for your parent. They will make it look like they are the "good" sibling.
Your Sister is also being a mooch.
As for yourself: Care-giving is VERY intensive and arduous. There are community support groups, for Care-Givers. They need, respite as well.
I did care-giving for my ill Dad, for 3 years. Before he passed away. My Husband did as well. He did more for my ill Dad, than my sibling did. Put it that way. But still... my Sibling... still made herself look good, and made me look bad and talked "stink" about me to our Dad. It was highly manipulative... and back stabbing, and just really, not nice.
Ya gotta watch out.
---------------------------
Your sister, needs a Therapist.
Some people, get VERY controlling... because they don't know how to cope.
Unless, this has always been, your sister's dysfunctional way of behaving.
Care-giving, is VERY stressful.
I and my family did that for my very ill Dad... before he died.
I know what care-giving is and how hard/stressful it can be.
Or, get a home health Aide, to help???
Your Sister, is malevolent perhaps.
Perhaps, she is doing this as a "show" to your Dad... to pretend and show him that she is "better" than you... thus, when/if your Mom passes on... SHE will think she inherits everything??? Because she has been playing up to him?
I only say this, because, situations like this can bring out the worse... in people an in their motives and intentions.
So, keep that in mind... and be... Wise.
Looking ahead.
Or, have a sit down talk with her. In an adult manner.
Tell her, what has been going on.
YOU are a parent too and have young children and a family/Husband.
She seems, very selfish... to say the least.
Keep your wits about you... and discern her intentions and motives and what she may or may not be saying about you... to your Dad, behind your back. In order to, gain favor with him.
I only say this... because one of my siblings... was like this when my Dad was ill... and before he died.
Be, wise.
Your Sister, is not being nice.
See it for what it is.
