Help with Teenage Son

I also have that problem, I have a 13 year old who I believe he thinks the worst he looks the more it will drive me crazy and believe me it does!!! If you find a remedy or a fix to this pelase let me know.

ok. so as a hairdresser, i can tell you that the shaggy ragamuffin look is very popular with teen age boys right now. jsut make sure to take him in to get the dead ends trimmed and texurized. at least it will look "neatly messy", if there is such a thing. and also i'd tell you to pick you battles. if he is generally a good kid and doesn't cause too much grief other than his unruly hair, you're a lucky mom. many kids his age are failing school, getting into trouble with drugs, alcohol, pregnancy, the law, etc. jsut set up a deal with him...if he keeps doing good in school, then he can keep his hair, but if his grades fall or he starts getting in troble then he gets a good cut and he's grounded till the behavior inproves. at least he'll have some incentive to keep doing good. and just wait it out, he'll get tired of itand get it cut off evenually...maybe this summer when he gets too hot.

We should hang out. I'm struggling with my 12 yr old stepson on the same thing!

I am SEVERELY annoyed by this "indie-shag-dirty" look they want.

I sit patiently by and fight the urge to hold him down....

We are going for a haircut on Thursday. Only took a couple months!

Hang in there!

I know how annoying it is to see your child looking like a ragamuffin. My 8 year old is insistant on growing his hair out long and he likes to comb it straight down too. but it is his head and he has to wear it not me. as long as he keeps it clean i just ignor it and don't harp on it. but i know that as soon as baseball starts he will want it shaved bald (1 extream to the other) because it is too hot to have a lot of hair with a helment. so if he plays sports or you can get him in to sports that he has to wear a helment in, he will be cutting his hair if nothing else.

It's the style right now. I am sure our parents hate our permed 80's rocker hair in the 80s and early 90s, but could little to stop us from wearing it like that. When the style changes, so will his hair. Not much you can do as he is his own person. The last thing he probably wants is mom harping on him to get an "old-fashioned" haircut, which to him, puts you way out of touch with what is current. :)

Hey M.,
My 13 yr old went through that recently and I noticed the more I said something the more he fought against...Ignore it..The style will get on his nerves and he will ask for it to be cut in his own time.I know it is hard to watch but just remember what we did to our parents when we were kids...curling irons with big puffy bangs...rarrr!lol!

I have a 14 year old brother and he does the same thing. I've asked him about it and it's just the style now. Then I met some of his friends and THEY all do it too. I think its just something you'll have to get used to. If he's happy with it and it makes him feel better about himself I wouldn't make him change his hair to something he'll hate. But you could ask him that when you go out as a family or to church that he makes sure it looks nice and is out of his face as a compromise.

M., this is a phase he's going through... He's trying to find his own personality, etc. Our son did the same...we used to ask him if we used a "stick" to comb his hair...then he went through the long straight hair style down in his eyes...drove us crazy. Then after college and on his own, married, etc. wears his hair styled...I never thought I'd see the day. Ha!

I would just let it go, it's only hair. I know it's annoying but you have to pick your battles and this one, IMHO, isn't worth the effort. As long as he's keeping it clean. He will probably grow weary of it, annoyed with it & change in a while anyway, but the longer you fight over it, the longer he'll leave it there even if down deep he wants to change it.

He will get through this phase........if that's the only thing, don't worry about it - easier said than done. I know. However, if you quit saying anything, he might fix it anyway. The other advice I have is to pick your battles. Good luck!

I think the most important thing is to let your son know that you love him just the way he is. I too am picky about looking well groomed. But I've learned recently that my son would like to do things (certain things) his way. He is only 7, but is already developing his own style. It's not always what I like, but as long as it's not offensive to those around him or dangerous for him- him knowing that my love is UN-conditional is most important. Years fly by and often, opportunities to enjoy our children's presence is overlooked by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Treasure each day and every moment and your life will have great purpose.

I have a 12 year old boy who also wants to keep his hair long. It irritates me as well, but it is the style now for boys their age. I figure if the worst thing they do at their age is wear long hair than we should not let it bother us.

Hi M.

My stepson (now 19) has the most beautiful curls. He insists on trying to straighten them in a "ragamuffin" way that your son does. I have learned that this is obviously the "style" much to my chagrin. I have decided there are far worse things than a bad hairuct. Let him have this opportunity to express himself. Otherwise, it will become a sore spot between you. Once my son's hair got long enough to let the curls show, it was actually quite nice. Give it a chance, he may be on to something!

Good Luck!