Help with Sleeping Routine

Ladies! Let's be NICE! As far as N. being too busy to rock her baby, do you all remember what it was like to have your first baby and trying to stay on top of all keeping the house clean, caring for a baby and doing the million things that we can never seem to get done! Can you all give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she DOES treasure time with her baby and consider her a blessing!

N.!!!! I am sorry so many people jumped all over you. People on this site can be really nice or really nasty.
That being said. Your baby is young for a routine. Even if you can't rock her to sleep you could rock her for....say....20 min. and then lay her down awake and see how she does with that. It's totally okay to let things go to spend the extra time with your little one.
Blessings on you N.! juggling all the things that come with having a new baby are hard. Enjoy this time and take the time rocking your baby to relax yourself!

I know you've heard this already, but 6 weeks is too young to cry it out. You are that baby's lifeline. She only has you to provide her with food, comfort, security, and sleep. If she cries it out - she's not learning to self soothe. She's panicking - pure and simple. She feels abandoned. There is a HUGE difference between 6 weeks and 4 months for a baby. What your daughter learns now, she will not remember in a few months. So she's not "learning" how to manipulate you into coming when she cries. Nor is she manipulating you into rocking her to sleep. In 3 months she will be a completely different child whom you can ease into a routine. She'll start eating more ounces, every 4 hours or so, and moving into 2 naps a day. Aim for naps ranging from 9:30-11:30 and 2pm - 4pm (Depending on what time she wakes up in the morning.) Then start bedtime at 7pm. My husband and I rocked our daughter to sleep until she was 18 months old. We didn't want to stop! Those were the most precious, spiritual, bonding times of our lives with her, and our hearts ACHE to have them back. When she was 18 months, we started taking her to an in-home daycare and had to learn how to fall asleep on her own. So we slowly eased into it. Every night we held her less and less, and started putting her in the crib when she was half asleep, then after a few days we started putting her in the crib when she just started to drift off, and then a few days later, we'd read books, cuddle, and put her in the crib awake. Worked like a charm. Hope this helps you, and enjoy your sweet girl!!!

I wouldn't let a 6 week old cry it out too long, maybe 2 to 3 minutes. But you could start some better naptime rituals to get her to lay down without having to be rocked or feel the need cry herself to sleep.

Lay her down before she gets overly tired, at 6 weeks, sometimes they are only awake for 1-2 hours at a time, they do mostly sleep, even though it doesn't feel this way. So after she has been awake for an hour and a half, lay her down, while awake, with some soft music, and leave the room. If she cries longer than a minute or two, or if you feel the crying demands special attention, then pick her up, calm her down, and then lay her back down, and repeat. The sooner you allow her to learn to self soothe, and sleep without your intervention, the happier you will be :)

But keep in mind, I am pretty structured, and my kids were never on a firm schedule until around 3 to 4 months old, depending on the child. 6 weeks is pretty young for this.

I think that 6 weeks is much too young to be concerned with routine, her little body is still changing too quickly & she is too little to adjust to a schedule. She's hungry when she's hungry & tired when she's tired & there's not much you can do to change it at 6 weeks. I also feel that 6 weeks is MUCH MUCH too young to let her cry herself to sleep. I would wait until closer to 5-6 months. She is way too young to learn to self-soothe & needs to know that you are there for her so she develops security & will be able to sleep better later. New babies are difficult, but please, make the time to rock her & spend soothing her to sleep, she needs you. You should treasure these moments, because they grow so fast & she will never be little again.

Oh boy, I haven't read your responses yet, but I'm sure that you have opened a can of worms! I am sure you will have a bunch of emails telling you you should "never" let baby cry it out etc, so I am trying to be kind with my wording. I researched this for another mom once and the research is very conflicting. I do think, however, that 6 weeks is too young for cry it out. Both of my girls also liked to be rocked to sleep. The older one I was able to put her down 1/2 asleep around 4 MONTHS, and the 2nd it was more like 6 months and she still is 50/50 as to if this will work--but we keep trying! Some people are adamant that babies should never be left to cry it out, but really, at some point, the ability to "self calm" IS IS IS an important skill. 6 weeks, however, is too young. Remember, she will only be this little once--enjoy it and take some deep breaths and use the time to unwind. Try again at about 4 months. =)

We went out and bought a bassinet BUT it has to have a mobile that lights up!!! (Ours is a Kolcraft from Target. Cost $89 4 years ago.) It works like a charm!!! We used it for both our kids. You just lay the baby down and turn the mobile on and the baby just stares at it. The mobile has a couple stars on it and the light makes them glow as the circle spins slowly. It's very subtle but babies LOVE it!!! We used it for over 6 months with each kids because it worked so well!!!

I would definitely not let a 6-week old baby cry at all in the crib. When babies that young cry, it's because they need something. Whether it be food, comfort, aches and pains, etc. They need something. Invest in a good carrier and just use that to get her to sleep. Then lay her down. You can always "train" her when she's a little older and able to handle it. I suggest the ERGO baby carrier. It's the best one I've ever seen. And I used to carry my son till he fell asleep and lay him down after all the time. He stayed sleeping too!!! I personally don't believe in sleep training and strict routines or schedules but I have a friend who did it to her kids after they got a bit older and she likes it.

Good luck.

You should feel blessed that your NEW-BORN baby girl at 6 weeks old will sleep for 6-7 hours straight- that is incredible and almost unheard of. As for the rest of it- I'm almost at a loss for words. If your little baby likes to be rocked to sleep- then rock her to sleep. It is way to early to be sleep training or letting her cry for long periods of time. I also like to get my babies on a routine but frankly, she might not be ready for it. Congratulations and good luck to you and your baby.

You "don't have time" to rock your 6 week old baby for 1/2 an hour?

What are you doing that is more important?

Wow, how can you not have time to rock your 6 week old to sleep? You really need to make time around every nap or bedtime to help your baby fall asleep. Even when they are older the routine will take time (bath, books, snuggles, etc.) I personally don't believe in CIO at any age and think that it is our responsibility to be sensitive to the needs of our babies/children and nothing is more important. Your baby needs to learn to trust you and you should be trying to bond as well. You should do some research on how babies sleep and form attachments. A great book is "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears, please read it!

Hi N.,

I always try to get my babies into a routine as soon as possible. As far as her falling asleep on her own, from what you've said, I'm assuming you are just starting this now....I usually start this from day one, too, because the longer you rock them, the longer it will take to break the habit. I know some think that 6 weeks is too young for this, but I assure you, it will be a lot easier now than later when they will totally not want this to happen....what makes it better for them at 6 months after all that time of them getting use to it, instead of now before it really gets to be a big habit??? My philosophy is...don't start something you may want to change later...if in doubt, don't do it at all....it will make your family life so much nicer.

When it's naptime or bedtime just lay her down....as young as she is you may want to lightly swaddle her since you have been rocking her...it will help make her feel content. She will probably cry for awhile, but as long as you know she is not hungy, doesn't need her diaper changed, and has no other problems, she will soon learn to go to sleep. Good Luck!!!

C.

Glad she is already sleeping 6-7 hours a nite for you! I agree that she's probably a little young to consider crying it out yet. The best book of advice, that's flexible, that talks about routines and such, that I have read is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. Hope you find it helpful!

Aw, she's so little. I remember what it's like when they just won't sleep. My baby's already 6 months old and it just goes by so fast!

In my opinion, babies should not be left to cry in their cribs that young. I believe the AAP doesn't recommend cry it out techniques until 6 months. Before that, cries should defintely be attended to - it's how babies learn they can trust you. A squawk or two is one thing, but I would try not to let her cry more than a few minutes.

Do you need to get things done around the house? If so, I'd try some sort of baby carrier to give her the security she craves and needs while still being able to get things done. I've done dishes, vacuumed, etc, all with my daughter securely wrapped up with a Moby wrap. She's now big enough that I toss her on my back to clean. The movement and interaction is good for her and it helps me get my house in order. The vacuum is actually a soothing noise for them since it reminds them of being in the womb.

My 2nd daughter would only sleep in the swing for the first 4 months. So that's what we did. will she fall asleep in the swing? If so, let her swing (we swaddled my daughter in the swing) and try to transfer her to the crib once she's alseep. I was worried we were setting ourselves up for bad sleep habits, but just recently she's been going to sleep on her own.

6 weeks isn't too young to start a routine, but don't be discouraged if she doesn't want to follow one. She's still so young and is just getting used to the world.

Congratulations on your new baby!

Edited to add: Whoa, mamas! Back off! This is a brand new mommy who may be dealing with PPD, baby blues or whatever. Being harsh isn't the way to go.

Offer suggestions and compassion, but there's no need to be nasty, rude or condescending.

A great book to help with starting a routine is HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS, HAPPY CHILD by Marc Weissbluth. He breaks it down by age and offers suggestions on how each day should be scheduled so your baby gets the right amount of sleep. It worked great for my kids.

N.,

Your baby girl will only be a tiny baby for such a short time, don't worry about rocking her right now if she needs you. I wait until my babies are older to try to sleep train them (like 10 months). I know some will say "what? - 10 months!" but, trust me, the time will fly by, and you will miss holding that teeny tiny baby. My daughter is 7 months and I can't believe she is so big already. I still rock her to sleep. Enjoy it if you can and let some of the other things go (like cleaning), you will have lots of time to clean your house when she's older.

Jessica

SAHM to Charlie (4), Joey (2) and Rebecca (7 months)

Hi N.
Wow, 6-7 hours a night for 6 weeks is great! Get you sleep while she does. As for a routine, it will take you patience and a while. For night time, find a routine that fits yours. Do you give her a bath? Do you put music on? Are you breastfeeding? As a mom of 4 for over 25 years, my advice is NEVER let a baby cry who is under 1 year. She needs to know you are there. Is there someone else who could help? If she is fussy, take one of your shirts that you have already worn (it will have your smell in it) and ask them to put it on their shoulder. She will smell you and be comforted. Put some music on, very quietly. Make sure she's fed and clean. Sit down and relax with her. In a few months she will be up and running, take the time now. It will pay off for many years.
J. S

They have a bassenett that vibrates and that seems to calm babies down to sleep pretty good.

I know you said that you don't have time to rock your baby at night for 30 minutes, but I would like you to reconcider. Rocking a baby is strengthing a bond and making her feel safe and secure. It is a whole new world out there and they need that bonding with mommy and daddy. There isn't anything that needs to be done so bad that it can't wait for 30 minutes. Time flies so fast when children are small and even faster when they get into school, enjoy every moment you can. When my granddaughter was born I watched her while her mom worked. My house wasn't always dusted, dishes weren't always done, but the cuddle time I had with my granddaughter was priceless. She is now 2 and half and doesn't have time to cuddle with grandma on the recliner most of the time. She does like me to lay with her at night and talk about how I use to sleep over at my grandma's house when I was small, when she spends the night. Enjoy your daughter every chance you can, you will never regret it. Be too busy to cuddle with your daughter and when she is older and not having time to cuddle with you, you will regret the lost time.

Six weeks is WAAAAY too young for letting a baby cry in their crib. It's also WAAAAY too young to expect any sort of "routine" or regular bedtime. You should be feeding on demand and rocking on demand and letting the baby sleep on demand. In my experience schedules don't work on little tiny babies. It's also WAAAY too young to expect her to go to sleep on her own.

I know you're tired, I know it sucks... but come ON -- you don't have time to rock your baby to sleep? Then you need to MAKE TIME. That's what grown ups do.

It WILL get better, you WILL sleep eventually, but for now you need to focus on your baby.

You are sooo lucky! 6-7 hours for a baby that young is amazing! My son had colic the first few months and would only sleep a total of 8-9 hours [including naps!] in a 24 hour period. I hope I am blessed with a baby that sleeps as well as yours in the future!
I agree with most of the posters that 6 weeks is a little early to let her cry it out. I would certainly not let her cry by herself for more than 2 minutes or so. It could permanently affect the bonding between you two. She has to learn that mommy will be there whenever she needs something and that she can trust you completely to take care of her. I totally understand not getting much sleep and not having time to do anything else, but it will get much much better after a couple more months. And when she gets to be a year or 18 months old and fights to get out of your arms you will miss the time you had rocking the sweet little newborn you once had. The only other thing I would recommend if you don't want to hold her for 1/2 hour is that you could try putting her in a swing and dimming the lights and sitting nearby where she can see you and then moving her into her bed