I have a happy and VERY energentic 9-month-old boy. Obviously he doesn't "misbehave" but I feel like sometimes I spend half my day getting wapped, kicked, bit, scratched, hair yanked, etc. He's not doing it to hurt me, or get attention, etc., it's just that he's always moving and playing and he gets really excited and wild. Like for example I'll be holding him and his dad will make him laugh and he reacts with his whole body and my face just happens to be in the path of his waving arms. I am not sure what to do because I don't want to squelch his enthusiasm or anything, but I am not sure when/how to set boundaries on these things. It doesn't really hurt me or anything, I just don't want him to end up like one of those out of control 3-year-olds on Super Nanny or whatever :)
Thanks!!
Let him be rambunctious! Being active as you describe and "out of control" are totally different things. Until he is nearing two, when you can begin to redirect any undesirable behavior, (and that is what you do when it becomes appropriate for his age), enjoy his activity and excitement! He must be healthy!
I think a lot of people confuse discipline with punishment. would you put your 9-month old in time-out? Probably not. However, it is certainly ok for you to let him know that what he is doing it not ok. I would take their hand away and say "no hitting" or when they would stand in the tub I would say "sit down" and sit them down. Of course, there is no yelling or forceful touching, just a gentle reminder. they get it. You are helping to define the boundaries for him as well as teaching him that it is ok to let people know how to treat you, what you find acceptable and what you don't. As long as it is done with love and not out of spite or anger...he will learn quickly. I would not assume there are any problems, he is young and still learning. Give you son the benefit of the doubt, you are right, he doesnt want to hurt you, he loves you. He just doesnt know the rules yet.
My son was and still is the same way. hes now 7. we bought him a trampoline for his 1st birthday, it has been the best thing we have ever bought! it releases a lot of energy! at all ages! and of course we bought the netting to go around it!IU dont kno if this is something you would be interested in but i just thought ide suggest it! Good luck
Sounds like he's just being a happy baby. You could try a baby carrier which faces him outward and will keep him from flailing at you. Otherwise, he's just doing what babies do - and he'll of course gain more control of his movements - and be more cautious of himself as he gets older. I don't think you have anything at all to worry about ;)
-Mom of four
Hi Audry,
My almost-9-mo-old is the same, and so was my 2 year-old. I think you understand it's not a "behavior" issue per-se, but maybe just a boy-thing/baby-thing. If I understand you correctly, I think you're just looking for ways to "teach" an infant, and I think that's awesome. Infant are capable of learning, even if they can't respond to what they've learned right away.
What I did before, and do now, is give a gentle but firm, "ouch," when I get a whack in the face or hard pull on the hair. I also say "ouch" the same way if he accidentally cloncks himself enough to cry. That way, when he hears the "ouch" he knows that means something painful happened. As he starts to develop empathy (much later from now), this will click in his head he is hurting you.
I use this in combination with some of the other suggestions you have already gotten.
Good luck, and duck fast:)
T
When my son does that, I just gently take his arm and say "gentle" repeatedly, and help him pat my face. You are right that he is not doing it intentionally. I think if you work with him gently over time, you'll be good! Dr. Sear's Christian Parenting is a great book about dicipline. I have also heard good things about Love and Logic. Maybe those will help. Hang in there!
My first was not a hitter but a biter. I think some kids just 'are' and they eventually grow out of it (our has not yet 100% but we had to resort to harsher treatment...but we won't go there today! :) At this age not much you can do except telling him gentle, no hitting, no biting...etc. If you say it 3 times just plop his butt down firmly on the floor and get up and walk away. Ignore him. Make sure your husband is on board with this too, because soon enough you'll have another baby around and you have to set those guidelines early. But it doesn't end. It just slows down when he has more control. Also as he gets older you'll see the cues that he is going to be violent, if he's hungry, over tired, trying to communicate...you'll see it--and get out of the situation before the confrontation arises.
gentle say "gentle" touch him gently and say, gentle. he'll get the idea
This was exactly like my son. I was like you, not wanting to squash his spirit. What I didn't know, until he was 4, is that he had sensory issues. Children like that feel everything on a heightened level. A light touch is ticklish, but a harder touch is harsh. They have a REALLY hard time knowing how to touch things lightly. Their hugs have to be bear hugs, or they don't want any at all. You do have to give him boundaries, gently, but seriously. You can do it with a smile. It really made playing with our little guy hard, and it made playdates miserable. Do mention this to your pediatrician and see what they have to say. Don't let him pooh-pooh you, though, if this keeps causing concern. A developmental pediatrician can do the real diagnosing, if there is an issue. Our ped. kept telling me our son was fine, just smart and high energy. Yet, he was such a high maintenance kid; crying at anything (still does, and he's 8 now), bright lights bother him, he gets really revved up if he's in a noisy atmosphere, etc. Of course, there's not a pill that "fixes" it, if there is indeed a sensory issue, but there are books to read to understand it, therapies that you can do to help him cope in our world, and suggestions to help you cope, too. My son always felt things more intensely, which made his personality very intense. There's no harm in boundaries, as long as you're gentle and loving.
As long as he isn't aware of what he is doing or that it hurts, you don't have to worry about meanness. Just keep your face out of harm's way when he is excited....
