Help with My 9Yr Old in Weatherford Area

That sounds very stressful. The only advice I can think of is to take her to a counselor or psychologist so she can talk to someone outside of her normal life. My oldest (who just happens to be 9) has a lot of the same problems. Exercise outside always seems to help. If he is particularly uncooperative one day. We just go to the park or something and I just let him run until he can't go anymore. Also we just found out he has ADD and some form of Dyslexia. We are working on those things and it is helping his behavior.

Hi A.,I have few ideas that might help you.I would sit down with her and set some goals and rewards for acheiving these goals,post a goal board or large paper with goals on it in her room when she completes goals such as doing good in school ,not getting in trouble,listening to you and doing what she is told,and also doing chores,tell her you will put a star next to completed goals during the week when she gets 10 stars next to acheived goals[ At least two goals have to be reached to be rewarded by the end of week] she will get a reward.Rewards could be going to movies eating out that type of thing, maybe new clothes whatever you feel like getting her for acheiving goals this will give her satisfaction and make her mind a lot better it will help you to get control of a tough situation, don't back down if it is not successful at the start keep doing it until you get results [and you will get results] it will make both of you come closer together and alot happier household..GOOD LUCK and let me know how it goes...R. c

It sounds like you have your hands full... Have you talked to the school councelor? That would be a good place to start... Both my boys have been acting out this past year... I know it is directly related to my daughters death this past January... Kids are so sensitive sometimes and dont know how to comunicate and often it ends up in fights... I would talk to the school and see if they have any ideas... They are with her half the day and may see things you dont know of... I hope all works out for you...

There's a book called The Explosive Child by Ross Greene that will help. My 5 year old is the same way with ADHD mixed in. Once we got the anger and frustration under control then we did all the other testing and trying to control the ADHD until we finally had to choose between homeschooling and medication.

The best thing to do now is to remove the baby from her grasp. That means keeping him with you at all times and setting up a baby gate to keep him away from her room. When DS#2 is on the war path he's gated off so that he can only be in his room and get to the boys' bathroom. My two year old cannot get past the gate.

The next step is to develop a growl and a poker face. Show no emotion but lower your voice to the range of a feral animal protecting it's young. Talking through clenced teeth is a good start.

As far a public situations, she can't go. Yes that means no church. No trips to the store, restaurant, or babysitters. She's grounded and unfortunately so are you. Once you're "working the baskets" from The Explosive Child then you can venture out. When she melts down in public you can calmly tell her, "I know you are frustrated and I except that you are going to have a meltdown, however if you do anything more than cry we will go back home and you will go to your room until you have managed to get over this" I've done this in the grocery store, library, church, even at school.

Now school is another story. If you don't have a teacher that is willing to "work the baskets" with you you're not going to get it under control there. The best you can do is send home a daily report and you can reward or punish her accordingly

Here DS#2 gets a smiley face for every half hour he can control himself. Naughty habits like making noise, sticking out his tongue and saying mean things earn him a straight face =/
Acting out and doing physical things like tearing things off the wall, knocking over chairs and such earns a sad face.

When he brings the daily report home I post it on his mirror in the entry way. For 12 smilies in a row he earns a reward, his teacher gives him a sticker for smilies 90% of the day. He has the potential of earning 4 rewards a day, two-12 in a rows and one for making 90% of the day and a Special bear for 100%.
6 special bears earn something extra special~bonfire, staying up all night, scrapbooking, Playtime Plus, fishing with daddy
6 in a row or making the goal for the day earns something back~activity, privileges, room decor, freedom from his room.

There have been a few weeks when he was in his room everynight. He's even had nothing but his furniture, no pillow, sheet or blanket. Eventually he got the point and started earning things back.

Hang in there

My 11 year old is having some issues, which started with puberty about 2 years ago, same age. I think some of it is hormonal, we know how that is. But sometimes in talking with my daughter, things were bothering her that she was not talking about, kids bullying her at school, poor self image, different things and it came out in a very hateful and moody way. Life is hard on kids sometimes and they just don't know how to put it into words, it's just a feeling that doesn't feel good. I would definatly take a holistic approach, talk to her school counselor and teacher, so they are her allie for tough times at school, and definatly consider family counseling. Unfortunatly it may be about you and her and she can't tell you that. My daughter and I butt heads because she is too much like me, strong willed and opinionated and emotional and sensative! We work through it by having heart to heart talks and she cry's because the world is often unkind to her.