Help with Hitting and Kicking!!

My boys are past this stage (they are now 11 and 7), but I know from raising complete opposite kids - some kids respond to NO and time-outs -- but some kids need to understand why they can't bite and hit.

At this age, perhaps role playing with her favorite doll would help. Get her favorite toy/doll/animal and have her pretend to talk for the doll and have another 'toy' hit her favorite doll and have her play out how that makes the doll feel. So you're putting her in the other side of the hitting, w/out actually hurting her.

Patience is a virtue at this stage -- take a deep breath and remember that this time will pass. Getting upset isn't going to fix the situation - it's only a stage. I try to remember the following: you can't change the situation, you can only change the way you react to the situation.

Good luck!

Hi H.,

I too have a little one the same age who has taken to hitting a lot. I don't think there is a majic solution due to the fact that it is age appropriate for them to be testing the limits, however, responding to her hitting and kicking by smacking isn't the solution. You are only reinforcing the act by doing the same thing she is. I usually respond to my son by telling him to stop and that I don't like hitting. If he continues, I tell him to move away from me or I move myself. I also think that a time out won't work either because the battle becomes about the time out and not the behavior that put them there. Modeling the behavior that you want is the key. Maybe reinforcing how much you like the hugs and kisses and gentle touches would be the best positive responce to the negative behavior. Making a big deal about the hitting and kicking only makes it more interesting to the little darlings at this age.

I too get frustrated by the hitting, especially at the end of the day. Hang in there!!

C.

I am a SAHM of a 20 month old son.

I have a 19 month old that was hitting at 15 months old. I would tell her "no, we don't hit, that hurts mommy or whomever", and she would laugh..it was like a game. So i started grabbing her arm before she could hit me looking her sternly in the face and saying the same thing. We also tried time outs which didn't work at the time. It seemed like it was a phase, we stuck to our guns and continually did the same thing and she figured out the game was no fun. It maybe lasted like 2-3 weeks. Now on a rare occasion when she doesn't get what she wants and she's crabby she may hit mommy....she gets one warning then it's time out. And time out works now. We put her on the bottom stair at home, she cannot see anyone there..wait like two minutes...she stays...this didn't happen at first...we had to keep returning her there without saying a word to her. Took two times of doing that. And then we she's done her time we go over and explain to her why she was put there and we don't hit the dog, etc. Give her a hug and a kiss. Time out seems to help some. I've found when she gets her naps and plenty of rest life is also much easier. Hope this helps.