Help with Disciplining

With super young kids I think the Ignore Technique works the best. If they start kicking and screaming, just ignore them until they stop. They're trying to create an effect by turning up the drama. If you ignore the drama, they'll stop. Just make sure they're not trying to hurt anyone or anything.

When they're trying to hit you, I've found it to be more effective block them from hitting you and instead of saying "no hit" or something (when they are young). I just grab their wrist, and put their hand back down. When they try again, I do it again, being calm and unaffected. They stop, because why do something that doesn't work? If you hit back...what are you telling your child? That it's OK for you to hit but not them?

When the kid is older and at the age of reason, you can explain why we don't hit, and follow with a consequence (like time-out).

The more you punish, the more you draw attention to the behavior. Besides, she's too young to understand reason. Next time she throws herself down, walk out of her sight (but keep an eye and ear open). She won't want to "perform" if there's no audience!

Good luck!

Ignore, ignore, ignore! They need to learn that that type of behavior will not get them anywhere. Don't worry about it too much, from my understanding it's very normal, they don't know how to handle their emotions, we have to teach them. Plus, imagine how frustrating not to be able to fully convey what you are feeling! The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears is great! Also, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk...EXCELLENT. Hang in there! Not easy and twice as hard while pregnant!

At this age, you can't reason with her and explaining what is wrong is not going to do any good. When she throws a tantrum, ignore it when you can. If you are out somewhere, you can just tell her that now you will have to go home. This worked for my neighbors daughter. Once she saw that she no longer got treats for good behavior or items at the store she stopped. When she hits, just block it and put her hand down, telling her no. Don't explain why until she gets older. Around 2 is when they start to understand actions, 2 to 3 yrs they start to get cause and effect. I am going through this now when my 10 month old gets mad. She hits you. Good luck.

I personally love Dr Harvey Karp's "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" as a great way to handle tantrums...you can get the DVD from your local library as well as the book. I also recommend Dr Sears "The Discipline Book".

I've noticed that most of our tantrums occur before nap/bedtime or before meals...well-rested and well-nourished toddlers tend to be more fun. :) My son is a grazer, so I make sure to have snacks and drinks or even a small sandwich ready, and never leave the house without a snack (I carry a Clif Z-bar in the bag for this purpose) & take advantage of drinking fountains in public places.

Typical tantrums for us tend to happen because he wasn't allowed to do something he could have done on his own (choose his drink, comb his hair, etc) or because we may have been focusing too long on something else & he needed attention. We've been trying to give him more autonomy & try not to focus on our interests without giving him some time, too, but it's a learning curve :)

She does understand, but is unable to communicate what is going with her or in her head. It is very frustrating! For both of you. Terrible twos are very likely and it is because they can't communicate what they want. I would ignore when she throws herself on the floor. When she hits grab her hands and say you may not hit. You may want to start time out, but when starting early you can exinguish a lot of these behaviors if you simply ignore a lot of them. I would not ignore the hitting. That she can not do. You have to come up different situations and decide how you will deal with them. Do all her behaviors require a consequence or do you just ignore them or do you just give her a reminder and move on quickly so she knows that what she is doing isn't going to get your goat. Stay calm what ever you decide. Don't allow your anger to get the best of you. This will only create more struggles and you not to think clearly.

Tantrums - ignore! She melts down into a puddle of mess on the floor, let her. Clear out the toys so she doesn't hurt herself and paste across your face the most bored and disinterested look possible.

Hitting and pushing - Firmly hold the hand, look her in the eye and say "We do not hit. Hitting hurts." If she does it again, pick her up face her away from you, and firmly hold her in your lap while saying again "We do not hit. Hitting hurts. You get a time out."

You must know that before I had a kid, I thought time outs were for wussy parents who did not want to effectively discipline their kids. Boy was I wrong! I used time outs extensively with my son when he started hitting (a normal phase, but hitting is never acceptable). EVERY TIME. You cannot let it go just once. Every time she hits, she gets the time out. You might have to put her butt in time out 30 times in one day. She will learn. You might feel like losing your cool, screaming, or ripping your hair out. Don't do it - she only learns that you are irritated by her behavior, she'll think it is pretty cool, and continue to push your buttons to get a reaction/attention out of you. Continue to be calm, clear, and non-emotional.

The Love & Logic Institute have great books that saved me when I started out. Go to Loveandlogic.com, many books written by Dr. Charles Fay and his son are excellent ways to discipline without resorting to spanking. My husband actually read one of the books and agreed with it 100%. Good luck, it will get better!