Help with Custody Issue

I don't know about here, but I know from some friend's cases back east that the custodial parent gets child support in most cases. One friend going through a divorce in Maine, as custody has been handed back and forth between the parents the child support has been switched between the parents. Another friend and his ex divided custody exactly equally between the parents so neither would have to pay support. Same thing in New Hampshire. Apparently in New York, the custodial parent gets 1/3 of the non-custodial parents income, period, no matter what the child's expenses are. I would definitely get some legal aid involved in this one.

T.,

One thing I do know for sure is that Child Support and Custody are two separate issues. I was not married but have been dealing with this same battle. My case originated in Nevada and has now been moved to California. If you have not gone to court yet you should be issued an order for mediation where you will ONLY discuss your custody which is great because if you want full custody and he has no problem with that then the order is set in place that way. There will be no changes made. Then you proceed to the next step with the court to discuss your child support. So you can play along and say no child support until after the order from mediation is set. I will say that I have joint legal and physical. My daugther is 13 months old and her father hasn't seen her since November and didn't see her the first 4 months of her life. He's in arrear with child support by $2500 it goes up every week he doesn't pay but I have my case with the DA's office and it has taken them 2 1/2 months already and they just told me last week it would take another 4 months. So just because you are ordered it doesn't mean it comes. My best advice is to play along and if you go to mediation before you discuss child support then tell him you are not going for the support. I can only say from my experience that I was not with my daughters father when I had her. He moved to another state during my pregnancy. When I had her he moved back the next week and made my life a living hell. If you can proceed in life without the child support and have full custody I recommend it. I gave my daughters father a chance and he blew it in my eyes. I don't get the money and I struggle everyday but to have to fight because he doesn't want to pay is so hard. Not only that but if he want's 50/50 cause he's paying for it then that's not the right attitude for a father. This can be very difficult to go through by yourself so I hope you have a great support system. I had noone to help me but an attorney at $375 an hour. So please feel free to email me if you need any moral support or just someone to complain to. I have been there and wish I had that help.

Hi T.,
I'm just finalizing my divorce. With a help of a great service called Pre-Paid Legal Services... I am a Representative. here is my website if you want to know how to "access your right" for an inexpensive price > www.prepaidlegalservice.com/go/ireneperez
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Your x-husband has to pay you child support. Ask for what ever it takes for you to raise him "the full amount". And the child support depends on how much time he actually spends with the child. So keep a journal of the time (day/times) your x spend with your son in case you need to prove it.

If you have any questions -e-mail me ____@____.com
It's nice to get feed back from someone that has been thru what you are going thru, Good Luck,
I. Perez

I may be wrong about this but I went to court when my daughter was 4. From what I remember the more time I got with my daughter the more the father had to pay. How fair would it be if you are raising a child alone and the father is out there not having to do anything. I have also heard of fathers getting more custody than the mother and the mother having to pay because she made more. My advice is get a good attorney. Ask around. if you cannot afford one the state can appoint you one. I am still thankful that my friends encourgaged me to take my time and find a good one that could fight like no-ones business. She was pregnant when her husband decided to leave so you can imagine the drive she had behind her. Good luck and let me know the outcome.

I do believe that he will still have to pay child support. I have full physical and legal custody of my son right now and I get child support. Well when he feels like paying his child support. I think it is way cheaper to go through social services for child support that using an attorny. I have an attorny but that is because mine is very indepth and complicated. Just make sure that you have it in the divorce and custody papers that you have full physical and legal custody

Hi T.

I Live in California and have gone thru this with my ex. It doesn't matter if you have Legal and Physical custoday..Legal means you make all decisions for your child and the father has no say. Ie what school your child goes to, where you live, and decisions for your child are yours to make he has absolutley no imput. Physical custody is your child lives with you.
Now for child support. This you can file without an attorney. My experience has been it's better if you live in Ventura county rather than Los Angeles but I don't know where you live. So..with that in my (and when I say better I mean it's easier ventura county is faster getting things resolved than L.A county..there is no difference in the law). Child support is based on the following:
How much money you both make, (including expenses)
If either of you have other children not from this relationship
How much time ie percentage of visitation does the father get, ie does the child spend every other weekend at dads house.
He is responsible for half of day care. period.
Health insurance my understanding is he is responsible for unless you both agree otherwise. If you provide health insurance I believe he has to reimburse you.
I Believe in the state of California you can only take him back to court every two years for an increase. (inflation)
You do not need an attorney to file. Whichever county you live in you call child support services. They wil send you paperwork to fill out. Financial. Once you have filled it out they send the same form for him to fill out. He has 30 days to respond (you also have 30 days to send the form back after you receive it)
Once child support services receives the info from both of you. They calculate how much he pays base on the above info.
They mail that info to you and him. If he contests it goes to court. He as to tell them why he is contesting.
The judge at this point will made a decision. The judge is only interest is the well being of the child.

It does not cost you anything to go thru child support services.
Hope this helps
D.

T., the State of California Department of Child Support Services will help you. Go online to your county's superior court website for all the help you need and more. Yes, he has to pay 1/2 of all daycare and medical expenses. They will help you but you have to be patient. He's on the hook until your child turns 18 and/or is out of high school. Hope this help. R.

the father will have to pay child support, if he gets visitation which i'm sure he'll try to get, this way child support will be less. if he is abusive make sure its supervised. my sister ex quit his good paying job, so he wouldn't have to pay as much child support, or help with the court cost. which he ended up having to pay for her court cost. he also ened up remodeling the house, got a new truck and went on a cruise, pretty good for not having any money according to him. good luck.

T., I am sorry to hear about your situation. First off, I am not sure if California's laws are different than Nevada's but I will tell you that in Utah, he will have to pay 50% of medical and child care ALONG with his regular child support. So get what you need for your baby. Also, do go through social services, they will be a lot cheaper for you in the end. I am constantly dealing with ridiculous custody issues. You have my sympathy! Take care, Jen