I am the mom of three girls: 7, almost 6, and a 16-week-old. All my girls get along wonderfully, but that's the problem. My two older girls literally smother the baby with attention. This has been going on ever since the youngest was born. They fight over who gets to hold her, scream and yell if they don't get "baby time", grab the baby and won't let go or try to get into a "tug of war" match with her, and lately, pinching her cheeks or other body part to get her to "talk" (which of course results in a blood-curdling scream). I think they are too old for this type of behavior and I'm getting very impatient and frustrated with them. I've tried a reward system (ie, if you clean your room or get dressed, you can hold the baby), but that only goes so far, and if they don't do what they are supposed to, they get really upset if they lose baby time, and then the tantrums begin. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with older siblings who have new babies in the house?
The way I handled this with the little people AND the big people was to tell them that the baby "was not a toy"!! Too much over stimulization is not good for such a tiny baby. It didn't win me many popularity contests in the beginning but the baby was happy :)
You could have solved that problem the way I did and just had twins!!:)
Even with two, my 4 and just turned 6 year olds fight over who gets which one. I, too, consistently tell them they're not toys. I think it's more of a fight between the two of them then actually wanting the baby (I know they want to hold the baby but fight just to fight)
But, what has made my girls back off a lot is that I need their help, so I have asked them for lots of holding, or giving them pacies, or holding the bottle. Maybe with more baby care responsibilities, they won't be as aggressive. It worked for me.
Maybe they are competing w/each other to make sure one doesn't get more than the other. Maybe define times of day that are times to interact and times to not. you could make it fun like making a color time clock (put it somewhere only you can reach) and if the hands say "baby alone" or something, then they need to play elsewhere. If the go into a tantrum, don't even tolerate/play it out. Just send them to there room or time out. even if you have to potato sack carry them. Even everytime they act bad then it's longer before it's interaction time. They're in school now so, it's just like they have to sit in class in and do their work in order to go out for recess.
Good Luck....I have six step children (6-16) and was hesitant when my husband and I got pregnant. Instead of everyone being jealous of my son, they all loved him and fought over who would hold him ect. I was worried he would never learn to walk becasue I had so many people who wanted to hold him. Finally I had to let the kids (and some adults) know that they can't fight over him and he is a person to. He is now 3-1/2 going on 20. He thinks he can do anything his older brothers and sisters can do. This got sticky when we were teaching our 16year old to drive! Just remind your girls she is not a living baby doll, but a real person and she gets feels bad when her sisters fight over her.
