Help with Almost 4 Year Old Potty Training

Hi T.,

For some reason poopy is a scary thing for kids. I had the same problem with my little boy. He thought peeing was fun for the potty, but for some reason was always apprehensive about going poop. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot I could do about it. I asked his doctor and basically he said he would just wake up one day and do it. He was right. After my little boy started kindergarten, he realized no one was going to help his with the poopy thing and started going on his own...now we just deal with the wiping thing. I guess my best advise is just patience. It'll happen, I promise. I guess you could try the reward thing for every time he goes poop on the pot he gets something that he likes. He's probably holding on to the idea of being the baby of the family, especially since you have another on the way. Good Luck!!!

Have you tried regulating his diet so he goes same time every day and you can get him on potty in time? Or watch for signs that hes going to poop and encourange him with the poo poo in the potty dance or someting?
My coucin would not poop in toilet also, They got her books to read while on the potty so that she was distracted enough to sit and do her business and then be off to play again.
Good Luck!

My mom had 7 children and she toward the end of that line, would hose/bathe them in COLD water. They got the clue really fast. ;P brr!

Personally, I am hoping to get my almost two year old to care about potty training!

Have him checked out by his DR. I was nanny to my cousin who is now 15 and he had a condition (sorry I don't remember the name) The Dr's thought that likely when he was potty training he experienced hard stools and/or constipation, and began to hold his stools. After a period of time he lost the sensation that he had to go. Basically he only pooped as his bowels filled and pushed it out (kwim?). The put him on prescription lactose, I believe. He was about 5 when it was discovered that it was a problem, not just lazyness. I think it lasted about 2 years before he was able to have a normal bowel movement.

HTH
E.

Hey T.,
I have a 6 year old who didnt poo in her pants but also wouldnt poo. Dr. told me that going #2 is so uncomfortable for some children because of hard stools that they will hold it until the body forces it out, or they can not hold it anymore. He first mut my daughter on Milk of Magnesea. That works when her stools are big or difficult. I still looks for signs that she has to go though, because she holds it for as long as possible, and has to be reminded when she is gassy or looks uncomfortable, that her body is telling her she has to poop. Try Pear juice first. Then Milk of Magnesea, these will both soften and help him go.
He could be like my niece though and need to be relaxed. She would hide in her closet in the dark and poop her pants. Now she goes on the toilet but only if she is naked. So it might be a comfort issue. Is there a favorite place that he likes to be when he poops? you could watch for when he goes there and then take him to the potty.
Good Luck!,
M. S.

Hi T....

I had this EXACT problemm....and boy do I feel your pain! What finally worked for me, was to stay calm, instead of getting frustrated...after a while it was really hard. Then I would calmly say "OK, since you pooped in your pants, you can go put it in the potty, where it belongs". I wouldn't be mad, but would help him take off his underwear, and put the poop in the potty. I think he connected after a while that if he just would go in the potty, he could eliminate the other step...which I think worked since he was "saving time". My thinking was the whole reason he was doing it in his pants, was because he could keep playing, or doin whatever, and he didn't have to take the time to go sitdown and wait.

Anyways...after about a week or two of that...he just started going, and no accidents since. Hope that helps!! Good luck!

I had the same problem with my son and it took some time for him to use it. What i did was I keept asking him if he needed to go and if he needed to go I went with him. we did that a few time. and one day he just went into the bathroom and did it on his own...... I have also heard that if you reward him in some way like with a special treat he will see that that's what he's suppose to do. hope this helps. good luck

I run a daycare, called "Add A Little Sunshine" and have had many children potty trained from ages 2-4 1/2. The best solution I found was consistency. Consistency on a day to day basis, hour by hour(s). First, it is important to know about what time each day your child has their bowel movement. This means observing their play, grunts, holding or hiding their intentions to poop. (Many kids tend to poop around same time every day.) Once you've establish an about poop time, it's time to set them on the potty for a few min. (to acquaint them), and say "do you want to poop now?" (Give them time on the potty, every day.)
Once they poop a "tiny bit", it's all praises, positive enforcement, and hallelujah! Give that a try. Let me know. Each child is unique. You may be surprised.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! My son is 4, totally pee potty trained, but like yours, will not poop on the potty! I'm expecting as well and am ready to be DONE with this! We figured out with him that it is a matter of standing vs. sitting. He won't sit to poop. He asks for a pull up, and I give it to him. He tells me when he's done and I clean him up. I wish I had some advice! If you get any, pass it along to me! Just wanted you to know you are not alone!!!!

it is normal for some kids to have set-backs.. and consider other changes that may have taken place.. 9 YO going back to school, job changes? health issues? you might even want to explore the possibility of dietary issues he may have - lactose intolerance, allergies, etc. Did he just start preschool? This might be a big adjustment. It wouldn't hurt to start by ruling out a health issue that could affect his bowel movements. Once you've eliminated any health concerns, examine the possibility of emotional concerns. And most of all.. have patience... sometimes set backs are normal. My 4 and a half year old was staying dry through the night until about a month or two ago... I think it could be the adjustment to school.. so we are just back to pull-ups and offering an incentive to stay dry (a toy he wants) he has to get 10 stickers in a row on the calendar for each night he stays dry. He has two stickers.. each on a separate day.. but we are trying! I keep a picture of what he wants nearby to motivate him. Encourage him... give him praise when he succeeds, and less negative attention when he doesn't - you don't want to "rub it in" when he fails!

Best wishes..

JG

My son would hold it in and not go till he'd bleed when he did go. our doctor gave us a mild lacative that we mixed in with his milk in the evening every other day to make him regular and that got him use to going.

We are in the same situation as you with our almost 4 year old. He regressed about a month ago, won't even pee in the potty and we never did get him to the poopy stage.

Good luck, it'll all work out in the end.

Hi T.,
This was with cloth diapers, but maybe it will work with your son, and it may sound gross or mean. My mom says that when it was time for us to potty train and we were resistant, especially with poopy diapers she make us wash out our own diapers in the toilet and that only happened a few times before we were using the potty.

R.