Help with a Sneaky Sleeper

hello B.. My name is Fran and i had the same problem with my 2yr old daughter. It took her awhile but eventually she got a hang of it. I had to put a small bed in there let her sleep in my room but her own bed, when she got used to it i suprised her with a new look in her room then i told her that this is her room and this is were she sleeps now cause shes a big girl. So now she grbs her blanket and goes stright to bed. But it will take a minute. I hope i was able to help.
Thanks,
F. G.

Hi B.,

We started having this problem with our 2-year-old when we moved from his crib to his big-boy bed. I spent many, many nights leading him back to his bed, often multiple times a night. I spoke with his pediatrician about it. She has two children of her own, 8 and 10. She said if it didn't bother my husband and me, then it wouldn't cause any problems with our son.

We're lucky that our son goes to sleep well every night in his own bed. This gives my husband and me private time in our room. Most nights our son does come in sometime in the middle of the night. I've gotten to the point that I enjoy cuddling with him. I love waking up in the morning with him warm beside me, and about once a week he never comes in at all and I'm disappointed!

The pediatrician also said that as they get older they don't want to cuddle and snuggle with you, and that you'll miss it.

You have to decide what's best for your child and your family. I'm only offering what is working for my family. Good luck!
--J.

There are some very good arguments for allowing your child to sleep with you if you can learn to sleep with her in the bed. I don't know anyone, adult or child, who likes to sleep alone. Children need (as oposed to want) cuddling and affection and night time is when they need it most. Studies show that it is good for babies to sleep with their parents and some babies need that comfort longer than others. Ask yourself why it is so important to you that she sleep in a room all alone? Good luck.

My mother had a great solution to this. She had a stuffed animal that was just hers--it was something Dad had given to her and it stayed in her bedroom. When my brother or I were scared at night, we got to take the stuffed animal to our room for the night--that way we had a part of her to keep us company/protect us--it took some finesse on her part--making it seem like it was a BIG deal to take the stuffed animal and walking us back with him and tucking us in--that sort of thing. It always had to be returned the next morning and it was always kept in her room and it was only used at night when we were scared--that way it stayed effective and didn't become just another one of our toys. It worked so well that I actually took it with me to college to comfort me when I first left home (my brother is still pissed off about that).

My mother also taught me to pray to ask God to put extra angels on guard over the house or in the room when I was scared (I don't know if you are religious or not, but this provided a great comfort for me--I would often ask for an angel for each corner of the room and one for the roof--I took no chances!).

Hi B.! My mom told me that she had a similar problem with my brother. What she did was to put a pillow and blankets on the floor by her bed everynight for him to use when he would come into their room in the middle of the night. That way he felt safe and kept from waking them up. This lasted for about a year so have patience. She will get back to her bed when she is ready. Good luck! C.

B., my oldest son, Jesse, did this when he was between 2 and 3. Looking back now I realize it was because he didn't want to be alone. For the first 2 years his crib was in our room, we lived in a small one bedroom house. When we moved to a bigger place and gave him his own room he was so used to being in our room that he would come and crawl in bed with us.
I started leaving a blanket folded like a sleeping bag next to the bed and he would just crawl in there. This went on until we had our second son, then Jesse would stay in their room because he wasn't alone anymore.
If your three kids have seperate rooms maybe think about having one share with the sneaky one. If they are already sharing maybe this is the little ones way of getting some me time with mom and dad. Just a thought.

Both of my girls do this. They are 5 and going to be 4 in April. My 3 year old uses the I had a bad dream, and sometimes is screaming when she comes in. Our kids don't sleep with us, but we have a permanent pallet on the floor. We let them sleep there when they are sick. (they both have asthma) So I think that is why some nights they come in there. There are some nights when I am sound asleep and don't hear them come in. Usually it's just one, but at times the other comes in later when she wakes up and sees that sister is not there. It doesn't bother me that they are in there, but they aren't in my bed. I can't sleep with them in my bed plus my husband. Sorry I don't have much to say about it, or any solutions. I just wanted to tell you that your not alone! I hope you find something that works for you!

My little girl was doing this a couple years ago. I just started to hug her for a minute then tell her it's time to go back to her bed. If I woke up and she was in our bed, I would wake her up and tell her it was time to go back to her bed.
This is just my opinion, but I dont think you shouldn't make it so that she cant come into your room. I think if she is scared it will only make it worse, you need to focus more on making her feel safe in her own room. You might need to take her to her room and tuck her back in bed for awhile but, it is so worth it to know that thay are sleeping comfortly in their room. I get bad dreams, so I can sympathise with them, I would be heart broken if I felt like the person I trusted most didn't care. I hope this helps, and good luck!

try playing some soft lullaby music in her room. make her room a more comfortable atmosphere. when she wakes up from her "bad dream" you could try taking her back into her room and laying down with her. maybe rub her back softly. read her a story.