Help with a Huuuuge Drama Queen

Updated on April 15, 2008
J.G. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
8 answers

My daughter is 6 and is a huge drama queen. Her dad and I have joint custody and it is worse when she comes home from his house. She flips out at every little thing you tell her. And when I say flips out, she starts crying and drops to the floor or runs to her room and slams the door. My boyfriend said that I should call her out on it and tell her that I knew she was doing just to get attention and to tell her that when she acted like that she wouldn't get the attention and would have to sit in her room. I finally had enough of her drama today and called her out on it and told her I was done with her drama queen act. She seemed to get a little better but I feel bad now for jumping on her like I did. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to stop being so ____@____.com dramatic. It drives me up the wall, insane to the point I want to just get away from her. I know that sounds horrible but I can't stand it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks in advance

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M.K.

answers from Monroe on

I think part of it is just being a girl. My 6.5 year old does it too. However, I have told her that crying and throwing a fit will not get her her way. I've also taken items from her and her sit in her room for refusing to try to settle down when she's upset. If you don't teach them that there is a right way to express their feelings, who will?

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A.H.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

The fact that she is doing this specificly when she comes back from her dad's house should tell you this probably isn't just for attention. I came from a divorced household and I felt lost when I would go from my one life (with my dad) to my other life (with my mom). It would take a few days to get used to home again. This is what the doctor told my mom. Have a ritual when they come home whether it be a special game. Or it can be you both play with each other's hair for a while. Have the same specific treat like vanilla wafers everytime. Keep it simple and you will notice a difference. This helped a TON to get back to feeling home. Good Luck

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J.M.

answers from Enid on

I have a 6 year old who has been that way the past couple of months...nothing works, she just started screaming until you can tell her throat is hoarse...getting worse everyday, i'm married to her father so i know thats not an issue, i think she is just being a drama queen, she goes from being miss cutie to the devil in one breath, i'm sure its just a stage, if i can survive it LOL...looking forward to seeing the responses and see if any can work for me.

know you're not alone and good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I feel your pain -- been there once with my oldest girl and will probably go there again with my youngest. My oldest girl went through the same thing. Mood swings at the drop of a hat, tantrums, little things becoming major events. We tried reasoning (didn't work), spanking (didn't work), time out (didn't work), and taking things away (some resuls there).

We talked about better ways of dealing with anger and frustration and that helped a little, over time. In the end, what seemed to work best was time, consistency, seeing the trends of when this occurred (when she was tired and didn't want to do her math homework)and trying to head these off.

Good luck -- I know how emotionally exhausting it can be for moms in these situations. Many times I was in tears myself, wondering what I was doing wrong.

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B.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I have no advice...I have a 9 yr old who does the same thing. I am not sure why they do it. I am divorced from her dad too. They definitely do it for attention.

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J.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi J., welcome to life with girls :}. I have 2, ages 7 & 8. The older has anxiety issues and is constantly stressing herself out and my youngest just had to start meds to help her cope after I tried everything else. I know how you feel, I've tried begging, bribing, bullying, beating... nothing worked. What's worse is that they have a "cool dad", but he's more irresponsible than they are, and their whining works on him. He's just a big kid himself. If you two havent been divorced very long, I would start with counseling, both for her and for parents, so you can get dad on the same page - maybe she's angry that you two split up. Try to plan "girl time" where you two can hang out together and play dress up, do each others nails & hair, etc. You can also try a diet change - if she eats a lot of fast-food, most contains MSG (google this) and can make the issue worse. My girls really benefitted from the diet change and it made my youngest a little less aggressive. And hang in there, you both look better with hair.... :}

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A.E.

answers from Little Rock on

I have a 6 yr old girl who is also a huge drama queen (but now in a comical way), and mostly acts that way once she is been with her daddy, with whom I am separated from. I have realized that it is mostly because he allows it and she gets whatever she wants when she is with him. One thing though, she knows that I will not tolerate the type of bad behavior that you are saying your daughter exhibits. Tatrums, screaming, crying and slamming doors should not be tolerated. The more you allow her to get away with it the more she is going to do. Your boyfriend is right, you have got to pull her card EVERY TIME she acts this way until she realizes that you mean business! Do not tolerate this behavior it only gets worse with age. And your little boy may start to act like his big sister one day if you don't stop it now. Whenever my daughter acts up I take away something she loves, whether it is TV, her Nintendo DS or visiting with a friend. Whatever it is your daughter truly likes to do, you need to take away when she acts up and explain to her that you are doing it as a result of her behavior, give her a certain amount of time (a day, a weekend etc..) and let her know that she can have her privileges back when she apologizes and behaves. Being only 6, I usually take my daughters TV priveleges or her DS for 1 day, depending on the severeness of her behavior. Longer if necessary. The road won't be an easy one but once you get started and be consistent, it will get better. That's why I can say my daughter is more comical now!

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T.H.

answers from Montgomery on

I've got two girls (5 & 8) who both have their dramatic moments. When they do it, I just immediately tell them to go to their room and come out when they've calmed down. Sometimes they go to their room, leave the door open and just get louder. When they do that I close their door and sometimes go outside so I can't hear them. It is infuriating. I think some girls are just dramatic. Try not to let them see it's getting to you. Good luck!

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