Ok Moms, I've posted about this before but I'm back again to see if anyone has any new thoughts. So my older son is almost 4. He is a joy in many ways, bright and talkative and funny and kind-hearted. But in the morning he turns into some kind of monster! :)
We've always had sleep issues since he was a baby. At this age, he goes to sleep around 8pm (we leave the room around 7:30/7:40 and he rolls around for a little bit before going to sleep) and still takes a nap for about an hour, sometimes hour and half. In the morning we are lucky if he sleeps past 6.
Now before anyone starts getting worked up, I realize that my child's sleep schedule may not mirror the schedule I want for myself. I get it. I don't even like waking up at 7, but I can tell you that if he sleeps till 7 (or close to it) he is in a good mood, cooperative, content, well behaved, happy! When he wakes up at 6 or before which is most mornings, he spends the morning rubbing his eyes, saying no, whining, yawning, and being cranky.
He is a master at fighting sleep. What I think is happening is that the second he realizes he is awake, instead of rolling over and cuddling up to his lovey and resting longer, he immediately like a reflex reaches over and turns on his light. The light stimulates him, and just to add some fuel to his own wake-up-fire, he starts YELLING. He sings at the top of his lungs, he claps, he jumps up and down on his bed, he sometimes uses the foot or headboard of his bed as a drum, and generally makes an absolute racket. At 5:30 or 6am.
We also have a 7 month old. We think the older one's shenanigans are waking up the baby, despite having white noise in his room. We are not sure of this, but it does seem like he sleeps later on the mornings when the older one, by some fluke, is quieter or sleeps later, and like today the older one was particularly loud, the baby woke up but went back to sleep right around the time I got the older one out of his room. Sigh.
So here are the things we have tried/are trying:
1. there's a clock in his room that turns green at 6:45 and he knows we are not coming in before then; we have been extremely consistent with this so we don't think he is yelling, etc in order to get us to come get him sooner. He knows that is not gonna happen. In fact I almost think its the opposite: he is so sure that no one is coming in before his clock turns green, he feels he can do whatever he wants.
2. there's a second clock, a digital one, that is set wrong so that it turns to 6:00 when its really 6:30 and all but the first number are covered up; he knows that the rule is that he can't turn his light on until he sees a 6. He's about 50/50 on this; some mornings he waits to turn the light on and it does seem to keep him a bit more restful but some mornings he just yells in the dark, or turns his light on whenever. When he does this we remind him of the rule (by talking to him through the monitor) and he usually turns it off when reminded, but its already too late as far as him resting more.
3. there are black-out shades on the window
4. there is white noise
5. we've tried reward/sticker charts for rewarding him on days when he does not yell
6. we've tried consequences (no morning cartoon, no treats, no ipad games, etc) through the day when he yells
7. we went around the house with a basket collecting "quiet toys," things he can play with quietly that he picked out; he pretty much ignores the toys and just jumps up and down and yells.
8. We role-played so that he knows what he sounds like; he lay down in our bed with Daddy and pretended to sleep, and I went into his room and pretended to be him, and they had the monitor on like we do (on the lowest volume setting by the way, AND we use white noise in our room to drown him out at least some) and I started yelling and clapping and banging on the bed so he could hear what it sounded like.
I think that's everything we've tried. We are so frustrated with it all the way around - he is not rested enough so his behavior is bad, we are tired and start the day feeling irritated and mad at our sweetheart which is a yucky feeling, he wakes up the baby we think sometimes.
Does anyone have any ideas for me??? Thanks for reading this long post and taking the time to help me! I seriously don't know what I would do without mamapedia!!!!
Also tell him that his noise is waking the baby, who is probably waking up crying. Tell him he made the baby cry. My older son is 3 yrs and 9 mon older than the younger one. If the baby woke, and he knows he didn't do it, he'll say, I didn't wake him up. hehe.
My kids have always been early risers. Always. Nothing we did would convince them to sleep in. And the days they need the sleep, ours behaved exactly like you are talking about. It's frustrating to say the least. Fortunately, those days were not routine for us. Unfortunately, we cannot force our children to sleep.
I would probably try a few things. Getting rid of the nap may help. There will be a transition with this, and you may have some rough afternoons.
I also would not tolerate the yelling and noise. My son went through a brief period of this in the evenings in an attempt to stay awake. There were immediate consequences for the behavior. You'll have to find a consequence that works with your child. Even if you are not giving in, it's still not deterring the behavior. Yelling and drumming is not acceptable behavior at 5 a.m.
If he is not getting enough sleep and he is an early riser, it may be as simple as putting him to bed earlier. LIke I said before, my kids have always been early risers, and at 4, they were both doing the bedtime routine by 7. Early, I know, but even if they stayed up until 10, they were still up at 6 a.m. or earlier. We had to get them to sleep early, so we could make it through the day without meltdowns.
Good luck mama!
Why don't you let him get up? At that age, I made my son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and left it in the fridge. I also left a cup of milk or juice. He could get up and eat and watch tv, as long as he promised to be quiet. I know you are having problems with him making noise, but maybe if he had a little more freedom (allowed to leave the room), you could make a deal with him about being quiet.
My kids are now 8 and 4. The 8 year old used to wake up early, but now can sleep until 7AM. The 4 year old still wakes up super early (easily 5AM most days). But, I just trained them to get up and be quiet and they both do. They are allowed to eat and turn on the TV. During the week, I am up super early (4:30, so always before them), but on the weekends, I like to sleep until 7, at least.
Good luck,
L.
I would try eliminating the nap. At least transition it out of his life slowly. I think that would help alot.
I think you have some great advice. My only other thought is to put the lamp out of his reach. Don't make it an option for him to turn it on. . . . good luck!
I agree that the nap just might have to go. I know it's hard to do that, but honestly, it might be time to try it. My daughter is almost 4.5 and she hasn't really "napped" in a while but sometimes if we've had some busy days or hit the swimming pool she will fall asleep during "rest time". I let her sleep for a little bit but usually wake her up b/c doesn't sleep as well at night when she naps during the day.
If he is going to fall asleep if you just put him in his room to play then maybe I would start waking him up after 45 minutes. Eventually maybe he'll work himself out of the nap and just play quietly in his room and at least you still get a small break.
Try eliminating his nap. My son dropped his nap at 2 1/2. I also suggest laying in bed with him cuddling. That might help him as well.
My boys were this way too. I always found that by putting them to bed a little earlier, they seemed to sleep a little later. I figured if they weren't going to sleep late enough in the morning to get the sleep they needed then they needed to get it on the front end by going to bed earlier. Worked for us. Good luck!
Some kids are just early risers, i remember a time we were up at 530 am every morning. i hated it but nothing i did made a difference. so i put them to bed earlier and enjoyed my me time between 7 and 9 and woke up weary eyed with them at 530. they were 3 and under 1. lasted about a yr and then they started sleeping in....until 630, lol now they are 5 and 7 and they are still up at 630 every morning. if they sleep till 7 i'm afraid someone is dead! it is nice now that my older one is in school. she is up and ready for school with no fighting in the morning. and i'm sure my younger one will be the same. and they still have an early bedtime to avoid crankies. last night they were both in bed at 7! my little one was asleep by 710. i allowed my older one played on her ds until 730 and then lights out. my older one is asking for her bed if she is not in it by 830. it's just the way they roll. i do tell them i'm going to wake them up at 530 when they are teens at least a few times for payback lol and now they are older so they can occupy themselves in the mornings on the weekends so i get to sleep in. i know it's hard for you right now. i remember the frustration. this season in their lives really passes fast.
I agree with those who said to try and cut out the nap. OR, I know you'd rather have him stay in his room in the morning, but maybe try having the tv turned to a cartoon channel, on a reasonable volume, so all he has to do is turn it on? Maybe it would keep him from yelling? Good luck!
