3 1/2 Year Old Does Not Want to Sleep

Start putting him to bed earlier. My son is 3 and goes to bed at 8 and wakes up around 630(hes always been a early riser) Sometimes naps or at least stays in room for quiet time. The earlier bedtime will help when baby comes too. (trust me, I have a 8 month old). Good luck and congrats on new baby.

I, too, have a 3.5 year old boy and a little girl coming any day! My son stopped napping, for the most part, about a year ago. He also tried to get up around 6 if he goes to bed too late. We start his bedtime around 7 pm with his pjs and stories in his room. He's usually in bed by 7:30 and asleep before 8. They really do need 10-12 hours of sleep, but every child is different. If something changes our schedule and he doesn't get to bed that early, he's up before 6 even sometimes. For example, my son fell asleep in the car yesterday and napped 3 hours at home(we tried, but couldn't wake him), so he was up until 10 last night before he could fall asleep and up by 6 this morning and now is grumpy even though he napped yesterday. If you try to keep his bedtime routine consistent most nights and start early, I think you'll be able to increase his sleep time. When my son goes to sleep really early (sometimes by 6 pm even) he often sleeps past 7 am. Good luck!

Over the course of 1-2 weeks, I would put him to bed earlier. Like between 7 and 8. The more he sleeps, the more he should sleep. It sounds crazy, I know. If our daughter goes to bed late, she will almost certainly wake up earlier than usual. I think a dark room helps too. We have also considered a digital clock with paper taped over the minutes and telling our daughter that she can't come out of her room until it says 7. We're having a hard time with her waking up early since we moved her out of her crib a couple weeks ago. But yes, you are right, your son definitely needs more like 11-12 hours of sleep at night, maybe even more since he doesn't nap regularly.
Good luck!!

OK, this is long! Bear with me - I've been right where you are!!!

I agree with the moms who say darken his windows - we do this every summer for my now 4 year-old. Makes a big difference. We also put a digital clock in her room when she was 3, taped over the minute numbers, and taught her that she can't get out of bed until the clock says 7. That works most of the time if you walk them back to their room when they come out early. Just choose a time that fits his sleep pattern - some kids are early risers. My daughter's clock says 7 when it's really 6:45. After you darken the windows and start putting him to bed early, you'll be able to figure out his natural waking time.

Also, the NO Cry Sleep Solution is not recommended by many pediatricians. It takes over 8 weeks on average and is tailored to families that sleep in a family bed. Most pediatricians (mine included) recommend the Ferber method. We bought the book Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems and Toddler 411 - both have been great, and have worked for us countless times. I highly recommend them both. We have healthy, happy kids who both sleep well because we do the things mentioned above when there's a problem.

Put him to bed earlier (no later than 8, but 7 or 7:30 is even better). If he comes to your room in the morning too early and he won't go back to bed (or won't stay in bed at night) then put that gate up. He's not going to like it at all. If he yells for you, go back after 5 minutes and reassure him you are still in the house. DON'T LET HIM OUT - just gently put him back to bed. Wait longer each time before you go back (add 10 or 15 minutes each time)! Set up a reward system with a sticker (or a small reward of some kind)if he stays in bed at night and in the morning. Have a consequence (like losing a toy) if he doesn't.

I know it sounds harsh, but you have to break this habit now or it gets completely out of control. I know!!! Mine would show up in our room every morning at 5:15. We used to let her come to bed, but that really didn't work. You have to be consistent about making them stay in their room, and it may take a while.

As for snacks in his room, I'm sorry, but no way! Your dentist would freak - leaving sugar on the teeth overnight from any kind of food or juice will cause cavities. This also teaches him to eat in the middle of the night, and his body will expect it. Then you'll have another bad habit to break later!

I know it's hard. I've been there, and it's no fun to listen to your baby cry at the gate of his room. But you're not doing him any favors by letting him get away with it. Lean on your husband for support (mine is the toughie who stands strong when I want to crack!).

With a baby on the way, you need to stop his behavior now so all of you can be well-rested (LOL).

Good luck to you, and congratulations!

K.,
My 2 1/2 year old does the exact same thing. The biggest difference I see is that we've had to give up on the child gate because he climbs EVERYTHING! He won't crash out for the night until ten p.m. or so, and then he'll wake up about five a.m., when I leave for work. He rarely naps anymore, and when he does, he's up even later. We may just have a couple of night owls on our hands. If you find any great solutions, please let me know! I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, lol.
S.

Every night, put some choke-proof snacks and a cup of water or diluted juice in his room where he can find them and take care of any morning hunger, and keep some standard quiet toys for him to play with and occupy himself until you are awake. (Don't give him straight-up juice or sugary snacks, or he will be hyper and louder. It's also less healthy, of course, and sets his taste preference toward sweets for the rest of the day.)

It might take a little time for him to adjust to this. Don't ignore him if he calls for you. If you go to him when he calls, he will feel more secure that, if he needs you, you will come, but he will, as he adjusts to this new situation, be so occupied by his toys and books and things, and his belly will be filled a little, so he won't feel such a need for you.

(I urge you to resist the urge to put a t.v. in his room. Statistics show that children who have t.v.s in their bedrooms do significantly worse in their school test scores.)

So, that's the morning part of it. But as for his bedtime routine, it's much too late. Start transitioning him slowly to going to bed closer to 8:00. If light in his room is an issue, get darker/thicker curtains to keep it out (this will also lower your AC bill in the summer, and the insulation will keep the house warmer, and cheaper to heat, in the winter).

I suspect that he's waking early because he is going to bed *overtired*. It's a common misconception among parents that, if you get your child really, really tired - skimp on day-time naps, put them to bed later - then they'll sleep better and longer. This is exactly the opposite of what happens! When we are overtired (children and adults alike), this stresses us. Think of that adrenaline that kicks in during finals among college students everywhere ;) This is what happens to children and babies who are not rested well enough. They get adrenaline rushes even in their sleep, and, if they're significant, can lead to night wakings.

Make sure that you don't give your son sweets from about mid-afternoon on, so that his body is not revved up and ready for action when bedtime rolls around. Sugar and the caffeine in chocolate can last in the body and affect sleep for hours.

Anyway, I think that, once you get him closer to 8:00 bedtime, you'll find him sleeping till 6-7, and you'll have more quiet time to yourself - at least in the evenings.

For more information on sleep issues, consult No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Also, for your new baby, have the Dr. Sears Baby Book handy, and if you plan on breastfeeding, I strongly urge you to get a book dedicated to it! Doctors and nurses are woefully misinformed about it. I've been told the most eggregious myths - by doctors! So have other nursing moms that I know. I highly recommend the La Leche League book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Also, if you run into snags - extremely common in our culture since not a lot of people know how to breastfeed - you can call your local La Leche League group leader, and she or another volunteer will come straight to your house to help - free of charge.

Good luck with everything! Go to the hospital as late as possible. It helps to prevent unnecessary interventions by technology trigger-happy staff.

L.

I am in the same situation. I will tell you that it will probably get worse before it gets better. My son is 3 yrs 5 mo. and my daughter is 5 mo. old. My son is the same way as yours. Has been for about a year. He is in his bed right now making lots of noise rather than napping. A couple suggestions are to make sure he goes to the bathroom before bed and try to keep the same routine. You might also think about some white noise machine in his room to drown out his sisters cries when she gets here. When our daughter came, our son would wake up for the day around 3 or 4 am, because that's when she woke up and by then he had gotten enough sleep, so he thought. It was very frustrating. You also might set up somewhere for him to go a couple days a week. I fought myself on this one, because I felt guilty, but I sent him to daycare two days a week. I took a nap with the baby, somethimes cleaned, sometimes just played with her, and other times shopped while she napped. Your son got this special time with you as a baby , why shouldnt she? It's definitely an adjustment, especially with a three year old boy also!

I totally agree with the previous responses - try putting him to bed early. I wouldn't get in the habit of putting a snack in the room - that could lead to expectations you don't want to have to keep up with once the new baby comes. Also, it could be the early sunrise. My daughter turned 4 in April and lately has been up before 6:00. We put a heavy blanket over her curtain rod and covered her window. This blocks the sun out and we get a little more time from her. It took a couple of days, but now she's not waking up until 6:45. She quit taking naps about this time last year, but if she's really tired and whiny, we put her in her dark room with a white noise machine and sometimes she will sleepfor an hour and a half. So try darkening the room - maybe it will help. Good luck!

As odd as this sounds, try putting him to bed a little earlier at night. Whenever I had sleep issues with my three, they always would awaken at the same time, but when I put them to bed earlier, they would either awaken at the same time or later. If he is up too late and is over tired (the talking for 30 minutes is probably just his way of winding down) he will not sleep later to make up the time. I wouldn't go more than 30 minutes to an hour earlier at a time until you find his ideal time. Also, about 30 minutes before you start his bedtime routine, close blinds and don't have him in too much bright light. Children do not process being tired like adults - they often seem full of energy when they are really tired. Good luck!