HELP! Raising My Spirited Toddler

Updated on March 29, 2010
I.E. asks from Deptford, NJ
6 answers

I have a spirited toddler of 2.5yrs, I have read "Raising your spirited child" as well as completed the workbook, BUT I think that I might be the problem. Can anyone suggest other resources/books etc?

How do you deal with the comments from other parents, friends and family members? Although I dont react to any of the comments I am sensitive to it and beat myself up over it for days/weeks. I am non-confrontational so I tend to internalize everything which turns me into a mom with at times, little patience and understanding for my daughter.

It is especially challenging when we spend time with a specific family members little boy who is extremely timid and cautious of everything, there is a 3 month age difference and the parents are extremely overprotective so I am always anxious and extremely nervous around them. - potentially jeorpardizing happy family times as we only see them over holidays. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Also does anyone know of a support or meetup group for parents with spirited children in NJ?

Thank you!!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Pretty much all toddlers are spirited. Your choice of discipline or lack thereof will determine how they act. You need to be confident in your choice and not worry about what other people think. If you want your child to behave well, you have to discipline them as well as have fun with them. If you want to "live with the spirited child", then you have to live with it. If spirited means creative and super energetic and passionate, but having manners, then great. If spirited means allowed to throw fits and be aggressive and bratty as long as you "understand why", some other parents are not going to approve. Choose your path and walk proud! Disciplining your child will not remove the good parts of their spirit. I'm not sure what your book says about it, but if it says disciplining is not good for kids like lots of books do, you may want a different approach. I have three very happy spirited well behaved kids (including 2 year old boy) thanks to discipline.
Check out this site and you may want the book:
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com, Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson.

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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm not sure what you mean about "spirited". Does she have a lot of energy? Maybe she needs to get out and run around more?

you can't worry about what other people are doing. if they are overprotective, oh well! that's probably why their child is so shy and timid. as long as your daughter isn't doing anything mean or hurtful, i wouldn't worry about it. Good luck!!!

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H.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, El,

I was a huge fan of Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" for my newborns - I just recently borrowed a copy of his "Happiest Toddler on the Block" and am impressed with it too. It contains a lot of insight into the toddler brain and many useful suggestions for communicating effectively with them.

Good luck,
H. S

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M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Something a friend said about her very active daughter, is being carried on to my very active son: "he has all of his fingers/toes/limbs and we are so blessed to have him". It tends to shut folks up, even the ones who say "you need to corral that little one (with a stern look)".

Good luck!!!

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C.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Positive Discipline: The First Three Years. Seriously - I got IMMEDIATE results.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

What is your child saying and doing? To you spirited means one thing to anther it has a whole new meaning. so there isn't much advice I can give. I think as long as your child isn't rude or nasty it may be normal toddler behavior but again you didn't say what spirited means.

Joanna
Mom to 3 Mara is 9, Cate is 7 and Olivia is 6

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