A.J.
Pretty much all toddlers are spirited. Your choice of discipline or lack thereof will determine how they act. You need to be confident in your choice and not worry about what other people think. If you want your child to behave well, you have to discipline them as well as have fun with them. If you want to "live with the spirited child", then you have to live with it. If spirited means creative and super energetic and passionate, but having manners, then great. If spirited means allowed to throw fits and be aggressive and bratty as long as you "understand why", some other parents are not going to approve. Choose your path and walk proud! Disciplining your child will not remove the good parts of their spirit. I'm not sure what your book says about it, but if it says disciplining is not good for kids like lots of books do, you may want a different approach. I have three very happy spirited well behaved kids (including 2 year old boy) thanks to discipline.
Check out this site and you may want the book:
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com, Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson.