How to Deal with Son Who May Have ADHD

Updated on October 18, 2009
P.L. asks from Pleasant Hill, CA
46 answers

I have a 3 1/2 year old boy who may possibly be suffering from ADHD. He hasn't been diagnosed yet because I don't want him on Ritalin. I really need some suggestions on how to deal with his complete meltdowns triggered by absolutely nothing! Thank you!

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.. My son is now 26 yrs old. I too didn't want him on Ritalin. My son was put on Cylert. It only lasted for the time he was in school. Imiprimine made him have halusinations. We were also able to get him involved in Special Olympics. Please e-mail me. I would love to help you. I know what you are going through.
Blessings,
A. M
____@____.com

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried getting him evaluated for Sensory Integration Issues by an Occupational Therapist? I have a friend whose 7-year-old was diagnosed as having ADHD, but when she sought for a second opinion, it was discovered he had auditory processing issues (noise overwhelms his ability to process information) and was extremely tactile defensive. By dealing with these issues through OT, there's no need for medication at all. You can google Sensory Integaration Dysfunction to understand this issue more.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My friend has a daughter with ADHD and did not want to use Ritalin, so she tried herbal treatment and it worked. Do you want me to connect you to my friend? She can help you. Let me know.

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G.D.

answers from Modesto on

Ritalin May Cause Changes In Brain's Reward Areas; Effects May Overlap With Those Of Cocaine:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090204193314...

Your are smart to stay away from this drugs!!!

There are Homeopaths, Natirapaths, and you can also look in to a diet like GF/CF (Gluten Free/Casein Free) Also stay away from SOY!!!
or also you can look in to the Body Ecology Diet!!! if you want more info on this just send me a message!!!

Love, G.. :0)

1 mom found this helpful

G.P.

answers from Modesto on

P.,
I have a son who is adhd, an evaluation has to be done first by a clientian, before seeing a doctor. Some adhd children have bad tempers. I tried Concerta, Adderall, Seraquel, Paxil, & some other meds. Concerta worked best, but I had a hard time getting my son to take the medicine. I asked for Ritalin but the doctor wouldn't give it to my son. It depends on the severity of the adhd. The signs of adhd, are hyperness, short attention span, can't sit still. My son has grown out of some of his some of his hyperness. Anger can be triggered by something very little. I have a lady friend who has her son on Ritalin, if he didn't take it, he would punch or hurt others around him. Some anger outbursts can't be controlled unless they take medicine. Many say Ritalin is very addicting & cause later affects. You can google meds online. My son was tested by a psychologist to see what his problems were. Good luck. G.

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi P.,

My advice would be the same as Jae C. You need to have your son evaluated by an occupational therapist. He is most likely experiencing sensory integration issues. Some children just have difficulty processing information they receive through their senses, and it causes them to exhibit what we would consider negative behaviors. Our son has been being treated for this for the last 18 months with amazing results. An Occupational Therapists would evaluate your son and determine what sensory issues he might be struggling with, then a program would be structured to help him with his specific issues. In fact, many children who have SI issues that go undiagnosed/untreated go on to have learning issues, ADHD, etc. If your child has SI issues it is likely impacting everything he does, especially learning.

I don't know where you live, but because your son is 3 1/2 you can get the evaluation done through your local school district at no charge. I would call them ASAP to get the ball rolling. Once a child turn 3, the schools have a responsibility to make sure that children who require services for educational support get them. If your son qualifies, you will be able to get your services at no charge through the district. You can also get a private OT. We actually use both school and private services.

If your son needs help with SI issues, I wouldn't wait. There is so much that can be done with early intervention. Good Luck.

A.

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I would be very careful to diagnose a 3 1/2 year old boy with adhd. My 3 year old is all over the place, like 3 year old boys should be. Your son could be frusterated, bored, something has to be bothering him to make him have a meltdown. We are too quick to diagnose our kids when there is nothing actually wrong. Boys will be boys. Maybe you working 2 jobs and not being home could be an issue making him act this way. Is your husband/boyfriend/their father in the picture? I would look at other sources of behaviour other than adhd. Sounds like he might need more time with you. Try that and see if it helps. Also, when he has a meltdown try talking to him and holding him to calm him down and see if that helps. A lot of the time spending more time with our kids helps tremendously. I used to work full-time and now that I stay home, my kids are more content and tend to misbehave less. I'm not saying to stay home, I'm saying try to make individual time with your kids. I hope you find a solution that works and before you get him diagnosed with a disorder that has him drugged up, try everything else. Best of luck and God bless.

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K.W.

answers from Stockton on

Are the meltdowns the only reason that you think he may have ADHD or are their other symptoms? My son is 2 1/2 and VERY active and well....2. So he's pretty close to melting down for no reason a lot of the time. I find that he does it MORE when he needs a little extra attention. With working two jobs, he may be feeling a little needy. I'm not knocking your jobs, I know how hard it is to do what you have to do and be a mommy at the same time. I work full time and commute an hour and 15 minutes each way so there isnt' a lot of "mommy time" during the week.

I also have found with my very active son (I have a one year old as well) that his activity level tends to set off fits as well, if he's not active for most of the day than he is prone to hysteria. I have found that cutting down on the tv watching and getting him into projects where he has to concentrate on coloring, glueing, etc have helped keep him calm, or having him help with housework (which he loves) or with his brother, etc.

NONE of these things may apply to you, but feel free to chat if you need ot. Also, I'm in the north bay and am always looking for playground partners on the weekends, or zoo friends, etc who are active boys to help run my little one down too.

K.

oh and all mothers need a pat on the back for doing everything they can, you're doing an awesome job with such a busy lifestyle. :)

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V.R.

answers from Redding on

My son has ADD. We eliminated certain foods that helped. Red dyes and sugar are good things to remove for a start.

We also had an evaluation done by an educational psychologist. I highly recommend this and no, it is not too early. The sooner you figure out what is wrong, the sooner you can learn the skills necessary to respond to it.

Our son is on Metadate and it is the best thing we have ever done. We didn't want to medicate him initially but was too hard to watch his self esteem just plummet because he couldn't pay attention. It affected him socially, in school, in every area. As they age, parents are not the only people to respond to the kids and their behavior. Metadate also is on;y in his body during school.

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

If you're into reading--Healing Children Naturally by Michael Savage.

I really can't believe you are thinking ADHD for a 3 1/2 year old. He's a boy and he's 3 1/2. My 3 year old has meltdowns too. For mine it seems to be issues of control.

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K.U.

answers from San Francisco on

You may think this is a silly suggestion, but I swear it has worked for adults as well as kids I've known in the middle of panic attacks and the like. (It's worked for me too.) It's called Rescue REmedy, and it's made of flower essences. I know it sounds goofy, but it has been used for decades and I don't know if it's the placebo effect or if it's the flower essences themselves, but it does help. And it's non-toxic and non addictive. You can buy it at Whole Foods, and be sparing b/c it isn't really cheap. I understand that some kids really need some intervention, but a lot of studies are linking food additives to hyperactivity, so I think it's good to search out root causes before dumping these powerful drugs into developing nervous systems. Also would low doses of caffeine help since it tends to have the opposite effect in hyperactive kids? I would get help in dealing with this though, maybe a nutritionist or a naturopath. I don't think Western Medicine has discovered a holistic way of dealing with ADHD, but I think it has a lot to offer in other areas. I also agree that getting the help of an OT might be a great thing to do, in conjunction with nutritional changes. Good luck.

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W.A.

answers from Salinas on

Diagnosis for ADHD will not be made at your son's age. He's too young for diagnosis. Aside from that, he sounds pretty normal. Sometimes kids make a scene to take the focus off of something else in their environment. You may want to see a family therapist.

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.

you mentioned, triggered by nothing. Perhaps it's his diet, he could be allergic to something . It might be a good idea to try and keep a food journal for him and see if when he eats certain things, his behavior changes, esp. when it comes to dairy , gluten type foods and of course, sugar.
It would definitely be worth checking out as I agree with you, Ritalin would be a scary way to go , esp. if maybe it's just his diet. Notice too that it could be chemical related, things such as soaps you use in the bath and or shampoos.. So many things can be the culprit, so many things we take for granted that just because something might say it's for kids, in fact it might very well be bad for kids. I wish you the best !

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L.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi P.,
Make sure he is getting enough rest. I HIGHLY recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He talks a bit about how lack of quality sleep can produce ADHD like behavior. He is the same age as my daughter and she sleeps from 6:30-7pm to 6:30-7am at night. That early bedtime is really the key. If you have any questions, email me.
Sincerely,
L.

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E.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Try to find theraphist who uses Masgutova method (reflex integration), might be tremendous help. Also try to change his diet, there are different approaches but you won't go wrong if you stay away from sugar, artificial coloring in food, preservatives and anything highly processed. Try homeophatic medicine or accupuncture.

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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

3 1/2 is too early to diagnose someone with ADHD. There is too much going on developmentally. Boys brains don't develop the same as girls, and they are testosterone driven. Their frontal lobe doesn't full develop until 5 or 6, which controls impulse control. Sleep is huge as lack of sleep produces the same behavior as ADHD. Also, "nothing" is not what triggers his meltdown. Something happens and he is overwhelmed. The other responder is correct on Sensory Integration Disorder, and often ADHD is misdiagnosed in these kids. You absolutely don't want to get your kid on meds. My son, about to be 6, had similar problems. He had many ear infections and thus, didn't sleep well. Once he got the tubes in his ears he slept better and his behavior improved tremendously. The other thing was I had to learn to love him and discipline him - consistently. Having clear defined rules has helped a lot. But most importantly, listen to him and see what is setting him off.It may be that he just wants to be heard.

Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P. -
You need to get proper diagnosis from a professional. Your son being diagnosed with ADHD doesn't mean he is automatically put on Ritalin. You are the mother, and you are able to decide what drugs/ or methods of therapy to diagnose. But before moving forward, you must make sure exactly what you are dealing with.

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A.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Take him to a developmental/behavioral pediatrician (unfortunately usually not covered by insurance). They can do an assessment. At this age they will probably recommend occupational therapy. My daughter is 4 1/2 and that's what we're doing (once there is an opening in the OT's schedule!) The OT can help your son and you with ways to be more in control of situations.

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G.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.,

I understand your concerns totally and I'm on the same page with you. I applaude you for listening to your mother's instinct.
I have a daughter who showed all kinds of "off" symptoms during her first several years of life. Bloated belly, fungal thrush in mouth and diaper rash, ear infections, eczema that came, but went away just as fast, erythema multiformes, illnesses that would last twice as long as normal, anger outbursts, emotionally irrational, inability to communicate 'well' ie: verbal delays or would not attempt multi syllable words or multi word scentences. Gruff voice, weight gain (she eats the same amount as my 2 slim kids,)lack of ability to pay attention.. IE:(mentally preocupied with other things when Im trying to read to her or talk to her,) lack of desire to carry on a "normal" back and forth conversation, not cognizant of normal social cues, temper tantrums,etc.
My mother's instinct always told me there was an issue and I thought it was caused by internal Candidas, although others around me, including my pedi and my hubby, would say she was OK , normal, or "she'll grow out of it". I never got her tested for anything, for fear of pressure to medicate.
She is now 6. I have been doing research on her condition since she was born, and medical research for my sisters nerve damage (RSD) for 4 years before that. It was interesting to note that the roads of research for thier illnesses kept crossing, and I kept comming up with similar data because of their co-symptoms, (eczema, headaches, IBS, and central nervous system damage) to point towards toxic overload in both. I felt due to Candida, a fungal infection that releases a mycotoxin. I also came up with plenty of medical documentation that claimed innapropriate outbursts, innapropriate laughter, etc, was fungally related.

My real breakthrough came 2 months ago when I found that all these symtoms can be traced to a cell wall deficient bacteria, also known as L form or mycoplasma. It can bud and striate just like a fungus. It buries itself in the white blood cells of the immune system, Suppressing it so much that it allows co-bacteria, fungi, protazoa and parasites to thrive, hence all the seemingly unrelated symptoms.
I am convinced that many of the symptoms that people blow off as phycological are manefestations of the mycoplasma as well, like bedwetting, night terrors, agressiveness, phsycosis and schitzophrenia, just to name a few.

I got a test ordered today from a lab in Florida who tests for mycoplasma (it's called the FLOW CYTOMETRY TEST)it took the place of QRIB-b. so I will let you know the results of my daughter.

Here's more info:

http://marshallprotocol.com/forum32/1263.html

http://www.springboard4health.com/notebook/health_lyme_di...

http://www.bionatus.com/nutramedix/pages/cumanda_what.htm

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B.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I didn't read all of the responses, maybe someone already suggested this, but you might want to look into the Feingold Diet. I agree, three is young to diagnose ADHD, and the cause may be Sensory Integration Disorder (not as scary as it sounds!) or just personality. Have you read Raising Your Spirited Child? It sure helped us! It's about children who are more "intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent and energetic." Sound familiar? It's about kids who are just "more". More than you can handle sometimes!

The Feingold Diet has a lot to do with cutting out artificial colors. Some children see a dramatic improvement very soon after starting it. I think it's great that you are wary of medication. It's true, sadly, that some children need it, but many are prescribed medication too readily.

So basically- look into "Raising your Spirited Child" and the Feingold diet. I don't know if either of these things will be the answer for you, but they're worth checking out.

Best of luck to you and your precious children! Hang in there!

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C.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter has ADD (she is now 14) and what I have found is that meltdowns occur for little to no reason most often when she is tired or hungry. Watch what he eats to see if meltdowns occur more frequently after eating certain food and then you can adjust his diet accordingly. Sugar is a big trigger and is found in some not so obvious foods like canned tomatoes, pasta sauces, canned beans, ketchup, mustard....read your labels and organic is not always the answer since they just use organic sugar...so you have to be diligent in reading labels and try to buy as much as you can without sugar, it doesn't taste any different.
Wishing you the best...but keep in mind, 3 year olds are busy people discovering the world around them, he is probably too young to accurately diagnose if he has ADHD.

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K.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello P. - I don't know all of your details, but the following offered me such relief, I cannot even describe. "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron:

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm

Take the questionnaire there, and you'll know immediately.

If that does not speak to you, "Hand-In-Hand Parenting" is a fantastic organization that supports parents and children. Their easy to read pamphlets are educational and can be applied daily:

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/literature.html

I wish you all the best!
K.
**********************************

For those of you out there who are interested, here is an excerpt from the Highly Sensitive Child web site by Elaine Aron:

....Few parents and teachers understand this trait (of being a Highly Sensetive Child/HSC)and as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as "problem children" In some cases, they are misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder. But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no more prone to problems than nonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, unusually well-adjusted and creative adults.

Chapters in The Highly Sensitive Child:

1. Sensitivity--
A Better Light on "Shy" and "Fussy" Children
Explains the trait thoroughly, including research evidence.
2. Fasten Your Seat Belts--
The Challenges of Raising an Exceptional Child
Describes the most likely problems and gets you started solving them.
3. When You the Parent Are Not Highly Sensitive--
Blessings in Disguise
Even though this is an innate trait, it often happens that a parent is not highly sensitive but the child is. This chapter shows you how to make that an advantage for both of you.
4. When You and Your Child Are Both Highly Sensitive--
And What About the Rest of Your Family's Temperament?
Discusses the advantages and disadvantages of having the same temperament as your child and also considers the temperament of other family members.
5. Four Keys to Raising a Joyous HSC--
Self-Esteem, Shame-Reduction, Wise Discipline, and Knowing How to Discuss Sensitivity
Focusing on the most important issues, whatever the age of a child.

The rest of the book is on each stage of raising your sensitive child, with many practical tips as well as research findings on what really works with these particular children.

6. Off to the Right Start--
Soothing and Attuning to Highly Sensitive Infants
7. Toddlers and Preschoolers at Home--
Adapting to Change and Dealing with Overstimulation
8. Toddlers and Preschoolers Out in the World--
Helping Them Feel Successful in New Situations
9. School-Age HSCs--
Resolving Problems at Home
10. School-Age HSCs--
Helping Your Child Enjoy the Classroom and Social Life
11. Sensitive Adolescents and Young Adults--
The Delicate Task of Launching a Spirited, Seaworthy Vessel

********************

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M.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.

Your son sounds alot like mine did when he was little. Mine was diagnosed at 2 and the doc. wanted to put him on ritlin. It just would have drugged him up and not solve the problem. So I did what you are doing reaching out to other moms. I found a book called "Allergies & the Hyperactive Child" sorry I do not remember the name of the author. Openend my mind and eyes to what is in food and the home environement. Everything I was using to clean and do laundry was a chemical. This is what was causing him to be overactive and miserable. The food & pollen he has out grown.
I have to much info to put in this email you can email me at ____@____.com or call my home ###-###-#### I can tell you the changes I made saved his life and mine, and it was real simple.
I have found the Book "Allergies & the HyperActive Child" by Doris J. Rapp, MD at Amazon and you can google her
If you want to know the products I used send me an email or call Good luck

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C.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.,
I totaly agree with Nikki's response 100%. I have a super wild 3 yr old son. So much that people in stores have told me they (they don't know me or my family) strangers walk up to me and say, I think your son ADD". Are you kidding me. He doens't have it and has been tested. Like others have said, boys are busy at this age and meltdowns can be caused by other things. Lack of sleep, diet, frustration, bored etc. Their worlds are challenaging enough and they act out. Lack of attention also or all of it. So before we go and lable our kids and load them up on meds lets all step back and look at the bigger picture. I was told my son is advanced for his age and activites for his age and children his age are not stimulating enough because he is beyond that stage of learning and interacting. Unless your son had been professionally tested then let's go from there. Why buy more trouble. you seem to have enough on your plate with 2 kids and 2 jobs. Hang in there.

SAHM/zombie 40yrs old with 2 super wild active boys. 3yrs and 7 moth old who is trying to walk and doesn't like to sleep.

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E.L.

answers from Sacramento on

my son was diagnosed last year and i also was freaked out! don't worry there are new med.'s out today! my son takes one new med. that's been out only 1 1/2 yrs. it's called VYVANSE he takes one in the morning and that's it. it doesn't make him zombiefied either! it just helps him to focus. the difference was like night and day! no more calls home from the school, his grades have come up and everything! so i wish you luck in your quest for what's best for your child! E. L.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with those who say not to assume your son is ADD at 3 1/2. I read that you are a mom of two and holding down two jobs, and my immediate thought was "no wonder the boy seems hyperactive". Is there a way you can slow down so you can give both boys more of yourself? I know that isn't always easy in these tough times, but if you can do it at all, please try that before resorting to any of the drugs they give the kids.

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L.O.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.,
There are SO many more alternatives to Ritalin in dealing with ADHD. Good for you for thinking about it early. I have a 22 year old son who still refuses to acknowledge or do anything to treat his ADHD. He was never 'diagnosed' in all the years of our searching for ways to help him. But the earlier you catch it and make treating it a part of his life the better off you will be.

Start by educating yourself--there are so many excellent books on the shelves about ADHD. I recommend most emphatically the latest book by Dr. Ned Hallowell--it's about parenting ADHD, I'm pretty sure. How we wish we had had that book twenty years ago! Hallowell is unique and valuable because he has ADHD and is 'non-medicable'--meds do nothing for him--so he has learned and developed so many excellent ways of coping with the situation. I would also recommend "Healing ADD" by Daniel G Amen, who has a clinic in the East Bay where they do imaging of the brain to see where the deficiencies lie, and treat accordingly. My brother's sister-in-law has had very good results being treated there.

I wish you much luck, and if you want to ask me more questions, please feel free to do so.

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N.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.,

There are natural ways to help your son with his condition without drugs.

I am a wellness consultant and help many families get their lives in balance.

I attend some wellness events with doctors that explain a wellness home and why we need it for our children.

If you are interested let me know and I will send you info. I do not know if you live around the bay area or not. I am attending a wellness home tour in Petaluma on Wed. and they have them all over.

Have a great day.

N. Marie

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Be careful about trying herbal and other untested "remedies" for ADHD. Honestly, Ritalin is far more researched than any of these.

I have a five-year-old who has ADHD. We were pursuing help when he was three. You won't get a diagnosis at that age, but you can meet with specialists such as behavioral therapists and child psychologists for useful tips. Meltdowns alone aren't an indicator, but if you're thinking ADHD I suspect more is going on. Don't discount your suspicions. It's worth talking to the medical professionals for at the very least, assurance that he's just a normal three year old.

Also, check out the website for ADDitude magazine. It's full of useful, very neutral information that can give you a better sense of whether he might have ADHD. You can see signs of it at a young age. Again, you won't get a diagnosis yet, but you can get help if he has indicators of the condition.

Medication options are quite limited at a young age and are reserved for severe cases, so don't worry about pressure to medicate. You are always in charge of making that decision.

Best of luck,
M.

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L.P.

answers from Sacramento on

P.,
Hi....I am responding because I feel guilty for NOT putting my son's on the recommended ritalin....
Both are now in their 20's, and I'm afraid both may hold it against me????
I was on medication(for epilepsy)and I was taking very high dose's. Whenever I complained to doctors about walking around in a fog all day they pretty much ignored me. I did not want my kids like walking zombies...I had in the past known several prople on ritalin & did not want my son's on it. I expressed concern,and even inquired about other medications. But the doc's said ritalin was the best fit. I chose not to put them on it.
I do regret it now.....As parents my husband & I made this decision. However, we should have re-visited the choice as my boys got older. One of them was a straight A student who had he had the medicine he would have been in the g.a.t.e. program. However, they would not accept him unless he was on the medicine(said he had too many outbursts, he had trouble raising his hand & waiting to be called on)so he went from being a straight A student to being discouraged & bored in his regular classes.
Just make sure you investigate everything!!! The doctor & the medication. IF you choose to put your child on the med's make sure to monitor it & the child for any changes in personality etc.....
I may have made the wrong choice's 20 yr's ago but alot has changed. One of my two son's is now taking ritalin. Said he feels more in control of his actions & emotions...
I hope this helped even just a little....research everything....talk to friends (like you are doing here) get as much feed back as you can!!! I don't want someone else to feel guilty 20 yrs later.....

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Check his diet! Ditch sugar, artificial flavors/colors, artificial sweeteners, msg, preservatives--basically sugar & anything you wouldn't use to cook from scratch with. Make sure he's getting plenty of omega 3's/fish oil (Dr. Sears has a kids' fiswh oil supplement) ADHD typically is the kid who CANNOT, no matter what, seem to think beforehand what the effects of his actions are going to be. "Meltdowns" as in temper tantrums sound more like he's terribly upset or frustrated by something--and it may not be something a kid his age has words for. And it may not be obvious.

T.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi P.,
Thank you so much for NOT being willing to medicate at the first sign of trouble.
That said, PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, I'm sure you are doing everything possible to provide for your family. However, you say you're very busy so consider the possibility that he needs more attention from you, maybe even in addition to an altered diet and with extra exercise.
I believe with all my heart that kids will do whatever they can to get the attention they need/want even if it's negative attention. Being a boy, he has LOTS of energy to put into this task, and do it at all cost.
My mother worked two and three jobs thoughout my childhood to provide for us and we were never in want. But the trade off was that she wasn't there for me the way I needed her to be.
It may be worth it to reorganize your life. Even if he does have real ADHD problems, (NOT by your fault) I'm certain your added attentions would only bennifit him positivly.
Best wishes!

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If you check on the Parents Helping Parents (PHP) web page (www.php.com) they are having a LD/ADHD meeting tomorrow night in San Jose. If you're able to go a meeting at such short notice, you are an amazing person!

I recommend contacting PHP for resources. Children's Health Council in Palo Alto also might be useful. (650) 326 - 5530, www.chconline.org

Info from PHP web page:

Tue, Feb 10, 2009: 6:10 pm to 7:10 pm

Our Parent Support Group meets monthly, September through May, just preceding our Lecture Series that begins at 7:30. It provides an open forum for parents to share their concerns, insights and experiences. Volunteer faciliatators lead the group sessions and try to give everyone an opportunity to speak briefly aabout their most pressing issue. Please be on time since it is disruptive to the group when people are late.

Date: Tue, Feb 10, 2009: 6:10 pm to 7:10 pm
Location: Location(s)
Parents Helping Parents at the Sobrato Center for Nonprofits-SJ
1400 Parkmoor Avenue, Suite 100
San Jose, CA, 95126
United States
See map: Google Maps, Yahoo! Maps, MapQuest
Fee: There is no fee for the one hour Parent Support Group
Contact Name: Melissa King, ext. 136
Contact Phone: ###-###-####
Contact Email: ____@____.com

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

You just described my 3 1/2 year old boy. He is unbelievable. We have 3 older kids and never have we seen this behavior. We are in counseling to help us cope. First don't be afraid to talk to your doctor, we cut out sugar as much as we could and making sure he has protein at breakfast. Also run to the book store today and get "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. This book has been a life saver. I am going to research starting a support group in our area for parents of the "spirited" child. She also has a web site on the book. I think you may assume it is ADHD, but sometimes your just blessed with a child that is spirited and try to diagnose with the latest label. My older son, 17, was put on meds for a while but he became a different person, so we stopped. It is your decision to medicate not any one elses.

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A.P.

answers from San Francisco on

many times this issue can be managed through nutrition. Often the brain is missing a mineral or two (or perhaps more)and a GOOD QUALITY mineral supplement that can feed the brain, can help alleviate the problem. No, this is not medical information, it just seems to be showing up as a way to keep kids off meds that have been shown to produce long-term, if not lifetime drug dependancies. It is worth a shot and there are no harmful side effects. Once the brain gets back up to its required levels, then you may even be able to use diet only as the mechanism to get teh right nutrients to the brain. I am not a physician, I study the body and what it takes to stay healthy and work optimally, and the newest info has shown this to help.
A. Papangellin
###-###-####

A.H.

answers from Sacramento on

So many things can cause meltdowns and ADHD type behaviour in little ones. I'd try other suggestions before having him diagnosed. My little girl is 4 and she has complete meltdowns when she is tired, when she can't do something by herself, etc... During prime allergy season it is worse because her allergies make her tired.

If you do have him tested and find out that he is ADHD, my best friend's son is ADHD. They only give him his medicine M-F and let him have the weekends off. That way his body won't get use to his medicine and build an immunity as quickly. They also give him coffee and energy drinks because they work backwards for children with ADHD, instead of boosting their energy it calms them.

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S.S.

answers from Yuba City on

Hi P.. I just wanted to tell you that I thought my son had ADHD when he was 2-3yrs old also. My son's Dr. said that he reminded her of an ADHD child when we went for a check up. I found out that this disorder cannot be diagnosed until they are about 6 or 7 when they are in a real school setting. My son ended up growing out of this phase and I don't even consider that he has this now. So I just wanted to say to have an open mind and work with your son. If you have Kaiser I hear there's a great program they offer about learning about ADHD! Good luck, hang in there! p.s. my friends daughter has ADHD and at school they demand she has meds no matter what or they send her home from school.. and I'll tell you right now she's a super awesome kid!!...teachers don't want to deal with kids who have ADHD so be careful labeling your son..for your own protection!!!

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Z.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a family therapist and was very impressed by a speaker I heard once, Howard Glasser. He developed 'The Nutured Heart Approach' and I would check out his book (by the same name) before you try anything else. Also, if you do get your son evaluated wait till he's 5. Technically kids shouldn't be diagnosed with ADHD before then, anyway.
Best of luck!

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi P.-
I feel for you I have 2 boys really energetic-not add/adhd but have spd sensory processing isorder-chek out books on it you may be surprised- we do lots of suppliments Calcium/ magnesiun-really helps calm kids-especially magnesium, seabudies concentrate and theinine-amino aci based-have you tried changing foo stuff cut out starch and sugar and boost protein an ark greens greenjuice an lots f physical excercise- goo luck all the running aroun will keep you in shape however a bit bedraggled- L. feel free to contact me if you want to learn more!

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Make sure you have an outstanding pediatrician and consider food allergy testing. Food allergies can lead to severe erratic behavior. Don't self diagnose your child!

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Nikki C's Advice is fantastic. Scroll down and check it out.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I would recommend taking your son to be evaluated by a doctor. If your son does hav ADD or ADHD it doesn't mean he will be put on medication. Many things with exercise and nutrition can help the symptoms. Also if the doctor suggests medication it may not be Ritalin, many other medications are available. If your son does need medication it is very important to work with the doctor on which will help your son. Medications are not all the same, just because one didn't work doesn't mean another won't also you will need to give medications time to work, don't stop because one week nothing happens or the side effects are awful give it time.
Please talk about other options first before trying medication, but talk to the doctor.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you should take your son to a therapist. My son is 7 and acts exactly like your son. I felt the same way. I didnt want him to be put on Ritalin so I put off the doctors visits for a while. I really wish I took him when he was 4. They have not diagnosed him as ADHD yet because they want to have the Autism specialist observe him first. Its possible that he could have Aspergers. His agression was getting so severe that we had to do something. The ADHD doctor said that he had high anxiety and gave him a prescription for Celexa. It is amazing how different he is. He is the same sweet little boy, but his tantrums arent as severe as they were. Please take your son to a therapist. It doesnt mean he will be put on Ritalin or any prescription. They could just help you deal with everything.

Good luck and take care.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son will be 10 next month. When he was almost 3 he went into daycare. Then the problems started. We had some at home, but brushed them off to he is ALL boy, and his age. He got into fights at school, trouble never sat still, drumming all the time. Losing his temper at nothing or a simple no. He is now in special ed, has a IEP, on medication for a year now. No stimulants. At this point. He was finally diagnoised with ADHD and a mood disorder and leaning more towards bi-polar. It is very hard to deal with ADHD and so forth. Paitence, Paitence, Paitence. I am still learning how to take care of me, and looking for support groups. This does not mean your son has ADHD either. And they do need to be older to diagnoise. He was 8 when finally diagnoised. And in 3rd grade. He started 4th grade in special ed. My heart goes out to you. Keep a chart, journal or something with all the things he does. That way you have documentation. I did learn to document, and be my son's advocate. Meltdown's. How? Mine used to get violent. (still does) and hurt himself. And at 6 wanted to die. If yours does these things, just love him. Sit with him and talk good things. Try to get his mind somewhere else. (not easy, especially when a full rage is in place) God Bless

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I know this is many months later from the original post, but thought I'd add my two cents for those who may be researching.

My son, now 10, has severe ADHD. I did all the natural things that most moms try and finally found an amazing pediatrician and she, along with me and the staff at my son's school came up with a diffinitive diagnosis. We then came up with a behavior mod plan at school and at home. At the same time his diet was modified, natural supplements were used and a very strict schedule was adhered to, with only mild success.

I write this note as a parent who avoided medication so long it actually affected my son's learning for three years. He couldn't learn when he was in the Principal's office two or three times a week and was expelled from after school care, summer camp and school. While his hyperactivity is enough to drive a person insane. The school tolerated that. It was his impulsivity that got him in trouble.

He is now in 5th grade and is thriving. I attribute this to a very strict schedule and very strict guidelines as to his behavior. After a great deal of research I have my son on a low dose time released ADHD medication. It has changed my son from happy, but completely non-functional at school to happy, and a high-achiever at school.

Two other things. I found that the more tired my son was the more wound up he would get. To this day he has a very early bedtime when compared to his peers, but he truly needs 11 hours of sleep. When he was two and three it was 13 hours of sleep. The other item is that there has been reasonably good success with older children (10+) and Transcendental Meditation. Downside to this is it can be expensive ($2500) for initial training and I haven't found an insurance company yet to cover it.

I do believe that medication can help the extreme cases, but this should only be considered after all other options are exhausted. Work with a good support team and it will get better.

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T.F.

answers from Fresno on

Im a grandmother with custody of my nine year old grandson.About a year after getting custody we started seeing differences in his behavior.We now know he has bipolar disorder.And for the last several years it has been an emotional roller coaster of feeling totally helpless to total disheartening and frustrating.All the changing of the medications.Its rough,but Im sure it must be roughest on our grandson.Im finding I need to connect with other in the same situation.T. F.

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