Help Quietting a Screaming Child!

This may sound strange but I have tried just screaming back. It shocks my son into stopping and then he even laughs. He is only 1 but also has a 4 year old brother to compete with.

I have seen this very post quite a few times, so I am led to believe that this is typical behavior for the age. Some of it is frustration, particularly at not being able to fully communicate. Partly its also practice...or she just knows it annoys you and wants your attention. For my son it's the latter. in between screams he looks at me and wags his finger saying "no screamin". Best advise is to (try to) ignore it. If it happens at home walk away. In public, I just whisper in his ear "NO Screaming". Whispering works for us because he has to quiet down to hear me. My son doesn't have an older sibling to contend with, though his sister is 3 months, however he has been screaming since 15 months(three months before my daughter was born). Other than that we don't go out to do much anymore with the kids because of it. We'll go to the park, or kid oriented things, however where we used to take him to restaraunts 2-3 times a week, now he only goes about once a month. I refuse to take him on errands or shopping with me unless its an emergency and will only take him to the grocery store if he has behaved that day, though really like doing that on my own. From everyone i have spoken to I have heard that this is a phase and gets better. I have noticed thoughn that as long as my son gets at least 2 hours a day outside running he acts out much less.

This technique may or may not work, but hey - if you're desperate it's worth a shot right?

When your 20 month old daughter gets all screamy and shrieky, try whispering to her. She'll have to be quiet in order to hear you, not to mention that she'll have to focus more on discovering where her second favorite voice is coming from. (Their favorite voice always seems to be their own!) Some elementary school teachers refer to this as a '12 inch voice', meaning you can only hear the volume of someone's voice when they are 12 inches or closer. Now, your 20 month old likely won't get that but it is a great habit to start when they're younger.

My son sometimes gets excited and screamy in a restaurant and, boy, is that embarrassing for me! About 90% of the time he will lower his voice or jabbering if I get close to his face and whisper to him. It works for some kids most of the time, so it's worth a shot for you.

She has discovered her voice. Enjoy it! Before you know it, she will be off and talking to all her friends, not thinking about talking to Mom anymore.

One idea that comes to mind is to give her a toilet paper roll to scream into this may muffle the sound a little bit and it won't be quite as sharp.

D.

It's a phase. She'll soon grow out of it. When my older granddaughter was in that phase, my day care friend told me that she's just testing her voice. She likes the sound of it and wants to find out what else it can do.

I would recommend just telling her "shhhh", maybe put your finger to her mouth. I wouldn't recommend screaming back at her. That promotes the screaming - if mom does it, it must be okay. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, wouldn't give too much atteniton to it, because then it's a game out getting mom's attention by screaming.

My daughter did the same thing. And let me tell you everyone heard when she screamed. I just told her when shes outside she can scream but inside we have to use our inside voice. So when we went out i'd give her 1 minute to let it loose then told her when the minutes up she'd be done. This really helped us. If she didn't listen then i'd start talking really softly so she'd have to stop to hear me. Good Luck!!!

My youngest (of 4) did a lot of screaming too and I thought I was going to loose my mind. He is 2 1/2 now and doesn't do it any more and hasn't for a long time so remember that it will pass! I always tried to get real close to him and whisper things like "too loud" "mama doesn't like that" ect. I tried to get him to copy my quiet voice. Honestly it works sometimes but mostly I remember just leaning to ignore it after awhile. Good luck!

I., i have 21 month twin boys. They do the same thing. I have found at times its frutstration because they are trying to talk and we are not understanding them.

It has also been an attention thing as well, but more the frustration of not being able to talk.

I am working on repeating things, telling them words, such as eat, milk, i repeat myself all day.

Hope this helps.
B.

I have a daycare child that does this. He is 12 mths old and he will just be "talking" away and then he will scream. I started doing sign language with him. He know signs when he wants something. it worked great!!! You could try something like that.

My son was a screamer.
We had to limit our time in stores & restaurants for a period of time.
There appeared to be a pattern which involved sugar. If he had candy or sweetened cereal or his favorite juice~which on closer inspection contained high fructose corn syrup~he got wound up & eventually crashed. A friend suggested he might be sugar sensitive & in desperation I cut out all sugar from his diet. It was challenging but it worked. I had to check all ingredients & find a sugar free bakery for his birthday cakes. After a couple years he outgrew it & we gradually reintroduced sweets.
If it's any consolation even thought it was a stressful experience he turned out to be the mildest tempered of my 3 kids.

Hi I.,
I would suggest ignoring the screaming and praising your other daughter for using her quiet inside voice. I guarantee if you do this for a week your younger daughter will be able to tell that screaming isn't going to get her what she wants which is your attention. I would even tell my son when he screamed- "I don't listen to screaming, when you use your quiet inside voice I will listen." And then the second he would use that quiet voice I would praise the heck out of him. Now he rarely screams as he knows that's not the appropriate way to ask for attention. I hope that helps. :)
Blessings,
J.

We have had problems with screaming and we gave my son a place where he can scream. He knows if he has to scream or cry he can only do it in his elmo chair in his room. This way we tell him it is ok to be upset, but if you need to be angry and scream you have to do it in your chair. It works wonders!! You can also use a comfy pillow and choose a spot in your house to always have it available. He tells us when he is ready to get up and we go about our day. All I have to do now is mention his chair when he is getting upset or screaming and he is able to stop!!!

I agree with the whispering technique. I whishper "use your inside voice or I won't be able to hear you". And ignore as much as possible. I think girls shrieking is the worst sound.

I think my now 2 year old son was about 20 months or so when he started the ear piercing shrieking as well. I noticed it was usually in competition with his 3 year old cousin! He figured out quick it was a hot button, that's for sure! The way I fought it was by whispering back to him & kind of making a game i.e. "mommy can't hear you when you scream like that". I somehow incorporated "quiet voices" into the whole situation too. Of course, we also had time outs for screaming when I asked him not to. It was a brutal phase to fight, because I can't handle the screaming! But, it was very short lived & now if he starts to get loud all I have to say is "quiet voices" and that tames the beast. Good luck!

just go with it. lots of children her age do it. she will grow out of it. You can try reminding her about an inside versus outside voice but she likely won't get that. When my little one does all the somewhat annoying things that 18 month olds do - screaming, throwing etc. I just take a deep breath and smile at my little one.

Sounds like she is right on time for her version of "Hey world, I'm here, and you better pay attention to me!" She cannot communicate with words very well and she is also still under the impression that if she cries she'll get what she wants and , hey, screaming is even better than crying. I once spoke with a 60 yr old woman who could remember being pre-language and knowing tht she better learn how to talk so she could tell people what she wanted! I believe her. These little kids are so frustrated, esp since she sounds like a very verbal kid. So, get her to focus on you and say, "Use words, Betty", "I don't understand, you have to use words" and so on. Actually, try to get her attention before she screams. As she learns to speak, hopefully the screaming will end along with it. Also, put your hand over her mouth and prevent her from making the noise to communicate to her that it is not allowed. Now , once she learns to talk, you will have to train her not to jabber at you all day. I use a combination of not listening and saying Hm.mm. every once in awhile and telling the child things like, "my ears are tired, they need a 5 min break and then setting a timer for 5 min" at which time she cannot talk to you. When you get this under control she will be ready for another test of your motherly love and devotion, which you will pass with flying colors also.