Help Needed with Toddler Fears

Hi S....My daughter had a similar problem around the age of 2. She went outside one day while I was putting my shoes on and before I stepped outside with her a loud motorcycle drove by and scared her so bad she cried and cried and cried. From that point on she would not go outside, EVER, in our backyard without me right next to her, and even when I could get her outdoors, she would hang onto my leg like she was extremely frightened just to be outside. I tried everything I could think of to ease her fears, and nothing seemed to help. It even got to the point that she was afraid of "monsters" in her closet and under her bed during nap times and at night (when she was never afraid before). I'm not sure exactly what to tell you that might make her feel better, other than just making sure she feels comfortable and reassured in her surroundings, because that is what seemed to work for my daughter, and she outgrew this stage after awhile. The one thing I remember working tremendously for her regarding the "monsters" was buying a can of air freshener and taking a piece of paper and writing "Monster-Be-Gone" or "Monster Spray" (or something like that) on it, and taping it around the can and spraying her bedroom before her naps and before bedtime. I told her the spray worked on monsters just like it did on ants...it kept them away. It worked well and maybe it would work with other fears too?!?! Good luck...but I'm sure if nothing else, she will hopefully out grow it soon.

I went through the same thing. I told my kids that it was god and someone that died close to them (ie grandparent etc) were up in heaven bowling and that the thunder was the pins dropping and lighting was when they knocked all the pins down.

Hi, S. -

Our daughter, too, had a dramatic thunder incident and was scared for a bit, around the same age. I believe we told her that that was just God talking. I remember her saying, "I don't like it when he talks so loud!" ;).

One thing that you might try would be the "empowerment approach" -- it's the noises that are scary, so maybe encouraging your daughter to make some big noises of her own to "answer back" could make her feel that she's got control over the sound, too. Then, she could feel that she didn't have to be powerless over it.

It's such a hard thing when they're scared, isn't it? I hate it, but, yeah, like you said, "this too shall pass," espeically if you're always ready with some alternatives for how they can approach new scary circumstances.

My two year old started the same thing a few nights ago right after the storm. Now it is sleep with door open, hall light on, and she still wake up at least twice a night wanting me or daddy. Some things I tried...the "good Dream" side of the pillow, a dream catcher, but last night I took her to target and let her pick out a night gown, and her "magic" Dora nightgown instead of PJ's would only let her have good dreams. She did sleep last night, but that is the first thing I tried that worked. I also let her listen to music last week when it was thundering during her nap, and she didn't seem disturbed by the rain yesterday eithr with music playing.

Hi S.:
From my experience ( i have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old and one on the way).. Up to the point of about 2, children dont really know what fear is, they are babies and they are concerned with exploring thier surroundings, and getting to know the outside world. At about the age of two, they are comfortable in thier surroundings and at that point begin to realize what fear is, and more opinionated on what they like and do not like. With my children, I didnt push it when they were afraid of something, I would reassure them that this wouldnt hurt them, or that this was ok, but i didnt push..but fears are a good thing too.. A fear of touching a candle, or a hot stove. My daughter has never and probably will never be afraid of anything in her life, she will not allow herself to be afraid, she will keep trying to do something until she is not afraid anymore (shes much better of a person then her mommy, im not afraid to be afraid-- and admit it), my little boy is not that way, when he is afraid hes not doing it and he dont care what you say or what you think ( just like his mommy)..my son has no problem telling you, you are out of mind and hes not even trying that.. Dont be too nervous, just console her and alot of her fears will pass. Good Luck to you..

Dear S.,
She is at an age where she is going to find alot of things to be affraid of.
My daughter is going to be 3 in April and she is just now getting over being affraid of the bathtub drain sucking her down.
She will come up with more fears in the next 11 months. Some even sillier than the last. Just hug her and let her know your there. I have tried to explain, and show my daugher how the things she is affraid of are nothing to be affraid of. It doesn't work most of the time. Just be there for her until she finds a way to work them out.

Hi S.. I agree that children start to become scared of things at that age. I really liked the idea of someone bowling with God or Jesus. With my daughter storms are not an issue any more b/c her dad loves them and she will now sit on the porch with him during the storm. When she gets scared of something now we turn it into something fun. Like sitting on the porch or guessing who might be in the airplane or where they could be going like Disney Land. All children go through the stage and it will pass. Good Luck!