Two and Half Year Old Waking up Crying and Scared During Thunderstorms

I have sound machines in the kids rooms. They aren't the ones that play ocean waves or fancy stuff...it is white noise. For my kids they work.

Hi T.,
My sister in law is psychologist and taught me the benefits of having a mattress pad at the foot of my bed. Anytime child is unhappy sleeping in their bed, there is permission to come into parents bedroom and sleep in a separate little bed at the foot of Mom and Dad's bed so everyone is together but we were able to avoid having the child who turns sideways in the bed (while sleeping) and bumps around in the bed.

Before my sister in law suggested this, we had difficulties and sleep interruptions from taking a sad child into our bed...at one point I tried moving to my son's bed because spouse was giving support to our son and our son was moving in his sleep...displacing me from our bed...

We also emphasized having a stuffed animal in the child's bed as a sleep friend and read bed time stories together.

Having three kids, at one point they all wanted to come into our room and there was not a way that we could have five people in our bed during thunderstorm but with sleeping bags and mattress pad... they were happier being at the foot of our bed.

I agree its okay to comfort a distressed child but being a Mom who also works outside of the home...did not want to stay up all night doing this. All three kids did learn that it was okay to let us know if there was sleep disturbance and then use the alternate sleeping spot at the foot of our bed (on the floor...either mattress pad or sleeping bag).

We emphasized that the child's bedroom is preferred spot (nicer bed) but never argued if child wanted part of the night in our bedroom. This allowed us to provide support for loud storms, bad dreams, sick child...and ended as they got older. The goal is to teach coping skills so that when child eventually goes away to camp or friends house for sleepover, there is understanding by the child of how to calm himself or herself.

My youngest daughter did report that she went on brownie scout outing to dude ranch with her scout troop and there was thunderstorm while the scouts were all sleeping in the cabin and some of the troop members were crying about the thunderstorm (and being away from home)...

Maybe you should make up a myth about what thunder is... I've told kids that aren't mine that thunder is just God bowling & he's really, really good. Or maybe she has a tv with a dvd player or something in her room? Maybe it would be good for her to watch tv. Or a cd player/radio may calm her down. I Hope it all helps, my lil gal is too young to care about thunder but I hope my knowledge helps ya out!

T.

My children are older (8 and 5.5) than yours so I don't know that this is an exact comparison to your situation. I realize that at 2.5 years establishing at sleep routine is critical. I don't for a minute underestimate its importance, however at that age, I tended to be abit more flexible with thunderstorms. Last night we experienced 3+ hours of solid lightening and thunder. At about the 2 hour mark, my 5.5 year old ran out of her room naked (she sleeps naked--don't ask!), clutching her favorite blanket and pillow with her flashlight in hand. She wanted to sleep with us. Several times during the night I, myself, was startled by the lightening and thunder and was glad to have someone nearby. I couldn't exactly deny her request for comfort/reassurance. There have been other nights where the lightening and thunder is minor, in which case I offer "in-room" reassurance (which might include back rubs, small drinks of water, singing, music, crack the bedroom door open, flip the pillow to the "good side" etc) with promises to check on her when I go to bed. That usually does the trick without creating a nightly habit of cosleeping.

I have a soft heart for thunderstorms. I remember being very afraid during thunderstorms as a child especially nightime thunderstorms. Plus my favorite scene in The Sound of Music is when Maria sings "My Favorite Things" to reassure the Von Trapp children during a thunderstorm.

I hope this helps in some small way!

My 3 yr old is the same way, used to sleep through it now sometimes she wakes up. Because I know what it's like to be afraid, as a child, I brought her to bed with us. She was very afraid even between us, I kept telling her she was safe and we were with her. Eventually she fell asleep.
It happened again about a week ago. Instead of putting her with us. I turned on her table lamp, not very bright and laid down on her floor where she could see me. Eventually she fell back asleep even with the thunderstorm continuing. She sleeps with a night light and her closet light, the problem was the lightning was making her room light up. Having the small light on made it difficult for her to see when it happened.
If you have to, put her in your bed. Just keep explaining thunder is a loud noise that cannot hurt her. It helped my daughter that Pinky Dinky Doo, a kid's show, had an episode where there was a loud thunder storm and they found out it was a brother and sister cloud fighting. For her it became less scary. Try to make it seem like it is not scary but fun. I have an older cousin that helped me overcome my fear of thunder as a child. He had me stand on the back porch with him and he said after lightning strikes count to ten then you will hear the thunder. It then became a game. For me it was less scary. Maybe you could count with her to see if it's 5, 10 or more before the thunder claps. Good luck.

I had this happen to my daughter when she was about 3 - she was scared of thunder and fireworks. I was very pregnant at the time and, unfortunately, there was no room in our bed. I did go and lay with her until she calmed down or until the storm passed. Eventually, we would let her sleep with the lights on and I would keep checking on her every five minutes and praising her. My husband also showed her the storms/fireworks so she could see how pretty they were and how they wouldn't hurt her. This whole process probably took about 2 months or so - but the more we acknowledged her fears and comforted her, the less afraid she eventually was. I also agree with Monique that this period is fleeting and you'll miss the days when your little ones want to climb in bed w/ you for comfort :) Good luck, this will pass!

I think its extremely important that she not sense any anxiety from you during a storm, even if your anxious only about how she will react during it. Because, she will think your anxiety is from the storm and it will boost her fears. I told my then 2/3 yo that thunder is the sound of clouds bumping into each other and then I just would blow big raspberry "fart" sounds as an example. It cracked her up. Eventually we sat there in her bedroom blowing raspberries everytime we heard the thunder and tried to see who could make the loudest/longest raspberry. I told her, somtimes when the clouds bump into each other, it makes light flash too. Now, she's still not scared of thunder but she hates to sleep in a darkened room. She insists on leaving her closet light on with the door open. The only time she's ever been frightened during a storm was when the power got knocked out and she woke up in the pitch dark... So now we have a little stash of flashlights in her room. (Really though, try to avoid having her sleep in your bed; once she knows this is a possibility, it's a really hard habit to break small kids of!)

My son is the same age. He doesn't wake up for every thunderstorm but the big ones he does. I just let him snuggle with me. There isn't a thunderstorm every night so she shouldn't get used to sleeping in your bed. The are only litte once so enjoy it now, when she is 13 she will be running from you!!

I would simply continue to bring her into bed with you, where she can feel all snuggled and safe and warm--with the one person, you, who she knows can protect her from anything. No need to put her back in bed--why? There is absolutely nothing wrong with her sleeping in bed with you, and many cultures the world over who have very happy, well-adjusted children, who have children in the family bed until the child wants it otherwise.

Thunder IS scary, at least for a small person who cannot understand why there is that big loud noise in the sky. She may actually be extra sensitive to sound--my youngest daughter is, and she's also a near prodigy musician, but that sensitivity that helps her hear every nuance of music also seems to make her extra sensitive to noises.

Your little girl will start to associate thunder storms with warm, snuggly nights with Mommy--and believe me, that will be a more powerful and long-lasting thing, in a positive way, for both of you than any possible challenges the added time in your bed may cause.

You sound like a good sensitive mom.. so congrats. Our two and a half year old son does this as well (as well as random 'bump' in the night sounds.. ) but yes severe storms really scare him. You know what? As long as it is ok with you and hubby let her sleep with you until she falls asleep (and the storm is definitely over.. ha. We make sure of that so we are not shuttling between rooms all night when he wakes up and cries for me all over again.lather rinse repeat, lol) then take her back to her room. An occasional night with mom and dad is nice, comforting and there is no reason she has to stick it out in her room if she is scared. No way. Then again I am a softy and my parents were the cry it out/stay in your room old school types. eh. But do what you feel best with and it sounds like you like to comfort her/make her feel safe over all else. If that means co sleeping a night here and there, so be it:) Explaining to her what a storm is (while she is with you in bed and feels at ease.. and more apt to listen calmly..) and why it is nothing to be scared of this can assuage her fears. Soon enough she will understand what you are saying and it will become logical and not a scary thing to her.. oh. We also watched some videos of storms/nature type stuff. As it was playing I explained it a little, then reminded our son that it was just like the storm he heard last night.. and just tried to make it less intimidating by breaking it down by telling him what a storm was, why the noises were so loud and that as long as he was indoors there was nothing that could happen to him, etc..and it seems to now intrigue him and he is turning a corner from fear to fascination :) yay! Good luck and she;s lucky to have a caring mom!

My youngest, who is 4, just became scared of thunder this summer. She has always been a super heavy sleeper and nothing would wake her up. Earlier this summer, her, her sister and a neighborhood boy were outside playing when very loud thunder came out of no where. It scared me as well. She came running to me, shaking. It took two weeks just to get her to stay outside for any amount of time. She was constantly looking up at the sky for clouds. Constantly insisting that there was a storm coming. She would hear a plane go by (we get lots of planes that go by) and she would freak out and want to go in. The outside thing got better after a few weeks. Now, every time she hears thunder in the middle of the night , she is up, out of bed and in our room. She, like your daughter, is shaking she is so scared. Monday morning we had a storm early (5:30am), I was up making coffee and my husband was getting ready for work. He came downstairs when he was finished and said that she was in our bed shaking and asking for me to come lay with her. Last night she asked me what happens if it storms again tonight? Can I come in your bed? I told her that mommy and daddy do not want her to ever feel scared, so if she hears thunder she can come in to our room. Our girls know that they have to sleep in their own rooms and can't come in to sleep with us. Of course there is the bad dream every now and then or a storm and although I'm not going to tell them, I feel that they should come in our room so that they know everything is okay. I would never want them to sit in their rooms scared by themselves. I have to say they are good about staying in their own beds unless they really need to be with us.