Help Needed - Simi Valley,CA

Updated on July 13, 2009
D.M. asks from Simi Valley, CA
11 answers

My six year old son is making me crazy! Whenever there's something big going on, a trip to Disneyland, a vacation, camp, etc. he starts having a problem with using the bathroom, specifically he poops in his pants. I've tried so many things, putting him in time out, ignoring it and just cleaning him up, spanking him, putting stars on his calendar when he's clean and dry and getting a reward, getting special underwear for when he's clean and dry, threatening to put him in diapers. I'm at my wit's end! Anyone else have any suggestions? When don't tell him ahead of time any more when we go to Disneyland so that ends up okay usually but other things we can't avoid telling him because he knows when he's going to camp or whatever. Thanks!

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I.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Poor guy...I had something similar when I was young...I would get diarreah everytime some big social event would happen, dances, dates, even school...anything.... Doctors back then put me on stronger stuff than immodium (lomitil) and I got addicted to them...I know others who did too.
In college a test realized it was STRESS. I took some stress relief therapy and I've improved so much that I never had to take that prescription again. I had to learn to relax all my body muscles, and it helped relax my intestines. Research it on the internet or seek profesional therapy, whichever is best....but punishing him only adds stress and pills are not the answer.

3 moms found this helpful

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Poor little guy! I don't have any advice per se, but I'd drop the spanking in regards to accidental bowel movements. Such a punishment could have a very negative effect emotionally when tied to potty accidents and could prolong the problem and make it worse. Very best of luck during this trying time.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

You have received some great suggestions here.
The potty watch is a neat one, because he would be completely responsible. It could be an empowering tool for him.
If that doesn't work, there may be a medical cause, in which case you need to seek a doctor's advice.

I agree, please do not punish or threaten him, as that will only make the problem worse - as well as create other problems.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

man...both of my kids have always acted strange before a big trip too. not pooping per say, but other stuff like getting "sick" and "scared" out of the blue. i wish i had some advise, but my kids are 9 and 12 and the 12 year old has pretty much grown out of it , so i think that might be how it works. one thing i do know is that its just anxiety, which everyone in my family deals with. my husband being the most afflicted, said he used to do stuff like that too. so, i usually try to make things pretty calm and not make too big a deal around those times :)
i feel your pain :( sorry

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

That sounds like such a boy thing! Boys get so excited and don't want to stop to go to the bathroom because they are afraid they'll miss out on the fun.
What I do with my son when we're at Disneyland, is I just make him go every so often. I tell him that we're not going on the next ride until he goes to the bathroom, and he'll run in and go.
I know that it seems like by this age all that should be handled already, but it's not. Boys especially can still have accidents. Just be proactive in getting him to the bathroom yourself. If you wait for him to pause the fun to go, well, he may not make it. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Why does he need to know camp is coming up? i don't tell my kids anything in advance. So much easier for me. Okay, i tell them a few things, but, usually the day before. Obviously your son is stressed by something? change? things he has no control over? i would definitly talak to the pediatrician. poop accidents can be a sign of a medical problem.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son would do the same thing because he didn't want to miss out on any of the action. I have been going through this for years. He just holds it so long that he makes himself constipated. We have had very frank discussions about what it can do to your body if you hold it and whatnot. It's been an ongoing battle for awhile, but he is finally coming out of it. He is 9 now. There is hope, but it is a long drawn out pain in the butt. Sorry I couldn't be more help.
~~D.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi
He might be so busy having fun that he 'forgets' to go to the bathroom. You could try a potty watch, or just a regular wrist watch with an alarm set for the time he goes poop (if it is a regular time every day).

http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

GOod luck

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not telling him about Disney until you get there is good. Find a way to not tell him about the rest too. Like camp. Maybe you could just practice pack and not be going anywhere so then when you pack for real he won't know its the big deal. He may know when he is going to camp, but it isn't too hard to confuse the dates w/ a 6 yr old. (I've even delayed Christmas when my kids were little and no one was the wiser.) Stick w/ the rewards. the last thing you want is for him to start NOT POOPING at all --- then it turns into a bigger problem.

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V.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

only professional homeopath can determine the actual cause, but i can offer you a shortcut that if works can save you some $$ of homeopathic appointment - get the remedy called Hyoscyamus 30C. give it to him on empty stomach for a week and then a day before the "Event". keep the remedy away from light, heat and strong smells. no food 20 min before and after taking it.
Happy homeschooling!
V.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's an emotional thing. My son had the same problem. I tried it all too and what I realized was that punishments add stress and make it worse so definitely focus on the positive reinforcement.
When my son was excited or worried, it seemed to overshadow his ability to pay attention to his body. It could be something exciting like disneyland or something hard like a new place. It got so bad when my son was 7 that I started buying him a toy (the $1 craft projects at Michaels) everyday he could make it through school and play without an accident. Then we stretched it to a couple of days, a week, and now it's almost never.
When his mind gets to overwhelmed with something else, he needs a strong reason to focus on his bodily needs.
I also would check with him every half hour/ hour to ask if he needs to go and just taking him every two hours regardless.
Hope this helps, Good Luck!

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