Help- My Kindergartener Has Absolutely No Desire to Do His Work at School

Updated on January 19, 2009
B.C. asks from Round Rock, TX
4 answers

Welp Moms, I am at a loss here and thought I'd turn to you guys for some advice. I'm hoping someone else out there has experienced this problem before with their own child. My oldest son is 5 (with a late May bday) and in Kinder. He had a rough start at the beginning of the year, but finally seemed to settle in quite nicely. He had a slight issue of not getting his work done in the time allotted- but not anything that was a cause of concern to his teacher. Whom by the way, I must add, has been teaching Kinder for 46 years! She is strict (which my husband and I have no problem with), but after many observations of her around the children it is apparent she truly loves both them and her job. Once again before the break we addressed this issue with him and it seemed to become a non issue rather quickly. HOWEVER, here we are back to the grindstone and my little guy can't get with the program. Every since we have returned to school he has come home with a note and a couple of assignments (i.e. handwriting,cutting, coloring) that he was unable to complete during school. Many of the notes say that she had given him 2 days to complete the task but still to no avail! When I ask her what he's doing during independent work time she tells me he's fidgeting, walking around, laying on the floor (ALL the things we see at the dinner table)looking around, talking, staring off, etc., etc. When he's redirected he focuses for a couple of seconds and then starts messing around again. She said she's put him in a "private office" (where the teacher puts folders around him during work so he's able to focus better) but that hasn't helped. So far all of her tricks at school are not helping his bad work habits. Now for things on the homefront. At the beginning of his downslide a couple of weeks ago we approached the issue with positive reinforcement- i.e. sticker chart, get to pick the family activity on the weekend. Then as we quickly saw that was not working we downshifted into negative reinforcement. Taking away privileges, beloved Christmas toys, still nothing. Oh yeah, we can't take away T.V. time or video games bc we don't really do either of them- (well they do get a couple of hours on the weekend but not enough to be a big deal if he doesn't get those hours) I know we all have little geniuses out there, and I in no way think my child is the smartest cookie in the jar, but academically (both math/reading) he is functioning on at least one (if not more) grade level higher. I have been an elementary teacher for several years before I decided to be a full time mom so I think my working with him is the reason for his higher academic thinking. I'm also 95% sure he doesn't have an attention problem- I've kept an eye out for that for the last couple of years and other than the issue at hand he really doesn't show any other signs. When I ask him what's going on and why isn't he completing his work, he swears he tries but he just runs out of time (which is not what his teacher is telling me). He claims he's just to slow- However, when he comes home with the work he gets an entire days worth of work done in under 10 minutes. I just don't know how to tackle this problem, I'm at my wits end and am frightened that he is developing really bad work habits which will definitely become a HUGE problem as he progresses through school. I have a conference scheduled with his teacher for late next week but like to bring some different ideas to the table since we have both exhausted most of the ones we know of. I also wanted to add that when briefly talking to the teacher, I asked her several times if she thought he had an attention problem and she agreed with me that she really didn't think so- She did add, however, that he is a younger kinder and a lot is immaturity. Okay moms, throw me some advice, suggestions on how to tackle this;-)

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So What Happened?

Wow, Thanks to everyone who answered- I truly do appreciate you taking the time out to give me your two cents!. There is definitely some great advice and some food for thought. I'm actually going to roll all of you guys' ideas into one and sit down with my husband and devise a new game plan;-)

More Answers

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E.Z.

answers from Austin on

B.,

before you put any labels on your child (like he has bad working habits,attention problems and so on) assume that your child is right. There is something not working for him in the school environment and especially in the amount of structure work he is facing. Instead of focusing on what he is not doing notice what he IS doing. My boy is 9 and he had always "problems" finishing work at school. Public schools didn't work for him at all. I choose to change to a great charter school and he is doing fantastic. They can run outside for almost 2 hours every day, they play in dirt and do organic gardening .In my opinion the school system is overloading children with structured work and not giving them enough time to walk around, lay on the carpet, doodle and talk to friends. It may be hard for you to hear this as a teacher but seriously ... take a look at what we are trying to do to children at this young age. Their nature is to run and play . Your child is perfect and doing exactly what a normal child would do at this age. Please be on his side even if it means to find a better suited environment for him.

You may enjoy browsing through our web site www.languageoflistening.com that is entirely devoted to children and parents.

E.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

Since he is able to finish the work that is sent home in less than 10 minutes, I think he may be bored with the tasks that are presented to him. You might ask the teacher to give him something that is more challenging at school and send the stuff that he is supposed to do at school, home. That way he is still doing what he is supposed to, but he is challenged at school. If he is already academically ahead of where he is supposed to be, then this just proves the point even more.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I sent your question to a very good friend of mine who has been teaching for many years. She is often asked to observe children in classrooms. This is what she sent for you.

I would suggest she check out the Schools Attuned website and the Love and Logic website. The first deals with possible causes and strategies and the second addresses behavioral reinforcement. Big question for mom would be, does he get that work done quickly at home because someone is sitting with him or does he do it on his own? She should also ask if someone (other than his mom) can observe him for an hour at school and write down everything he does so she can "see" what the teacher sees.

Hope this helps. L.

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A.A.

answers from Austin on

I agree with Susan's comments. This behaviour problem has shown up in my husband, myself and we see it in our son. If we are bored, we don't focus on the task at hand and it looks like we are lazy are have poor time management skills. It isn't the case. We are both successful in our careers and have achieved higher education degrees, but we excel when we are doing things that interest and challenge us.

It may be too early to test for giftedness, but you could check out the ACE academy in town. They do testing as young as 5 years old. Also you may ask the school if they have programs for gifted children. It may not be that he is gifted all around, but in the areas that you mentioned in reading and math. If they don't have a program for him, then maybe the teacher could give him more challenging work when he is in his 'office' and send the other activities home.

Another option is homeschooling, an avenue which we are taking. There is a large community of homeschoolers in Austin if you want to explore that possibility.

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