My little man s 9 mos old and he is not sleeping in his own bed at all I am trying the let him cry it out....:( but it is not working he has been crying for and hour and half! I know he is tired and when I go in he just screams and gets so upset when he sees me !! I am going out of my mind, at night he sleeps with me and gets up so I figured we can work on the day while everyone is away but it isnt working how long do I let him cry what if he doesnt fall alseep? HELP PLEASE my other munchkins did not do this!!!! I had them all in there own rooms from birth but this baby has been in my room since so I think that is why but now I dont know what to do he had a bottle and breakfast so I know he is not hungry I want to pick him up, but I want hi to go to sleep in his own more and sleep by hisself !!!! I feel so lost !!!
I caved I pick little man up and he stopped crying immedately which made me mad b/c he was so sleepy..I feel hopeless, he sleeps with me in my bed which is up against the wall I dont sleep that well when he is in my bed I feel like I have to be on watch and if he wakes up and I dont hear him he crawls to the end and falls off!! So I feel stuck he needs to sleep in his own bed where he can be safe and for now until we move on a month he is still in my room I have a fan that runs when he is in there and I leave noggin on so he can watch it or hear it but he only wants me I love that BUT i need to sleep and need a few hours alone to clean during the day while he sleeps alone...thanks for the advice, I am going to try again and I welcome any new advice. I just didnt know if I was to leave him to cry untill he fell alseep no matter how long it took...I still dont know and I am tired :) but I guess that is what being a mommy is all about....
LAST NIGHT: He went to bed at 8 pm in his bed(actually in his careseat but that was in his bed..( ha had/has reflux) he got up at 1am and I put him in bed withme for an hour he refused to lay down so I made him another bottle and put him back in his careseat BUT I did not talk to him or play or laugh..it was just buisness. He is still sleeping now and it is almost 8 am! Foe those of you who are worried about colseeping it is not illeagal...and they die from suffication and it is b/c the parent is using drugs(prescibed or not-) or drinking and then it becomes child endangerment...I dont do either and my bed is safe I have a bed rail on the side he sleeps and it is a king size bed and my husband sleeps on the couch! so it is just me and lil man in the bed! I am greatful for the suggestions! If you have a idesa please I would love to hear them !
last night he stayed in his bed all night and when he woke up at 12:45 I let him cry and offered him a bottle and he ofcourse refused but I did not pick him up and he cried for 15 minutes than took the bottle and went back to sleep until about 7:30 this morning..<I did put a cover on the crib rail so he cant see me> I think that helped he may have eventually cried himself back to sleep had I not offered him the bottle. Thanks for the advice..
I would let my son cry for a little while and then go in and soothe him, while NOT picking him up out of the crib. I'd leave after he'd calm down... sometimes he'd get upset again... I'd let him cry for a little while and then go back in.
It was a frustrating process, but i think once he realizes that you mean business (not taking him out of the crib) he'll eventually accept it. My son sleeps great now (usually).
Hugs, mama! Obviously there are two very different approaches here: those who "sleep train" and those who don't. The debate is heated and I won't go into it other than to say that I believe in the wisdom of my body and my baby, and I feel SICK when my baby cries. So my family breastfeeds and cosleeps because these things are good for US.
Regardless of what "camp" you are in, reading Elizabeth Pantley's
The No Cry Sleep Solution might help. Many of my friends have found her advice to be useful. Also check out mothering.com's forums on babies and sleep -- there are some very experienced and wise mamas there!
Please pleases, please don't let your little man cry! He obviously needs you. Babies cry for a reason. An hour and a half of crying is not good for him!! or you for that matter. Crying it out is not the answer. He depends on you to respond to him. my daughter is seven months and I have never let her cry. she sleeps with me at night and during the days naps in her sling or falls asleep nursing and i lay her down. Listen to your feelings, if you want to pick him up then absolutely do so. your mommy instincts are telling you that it isn't right to let him cry-especially for that long. Dr. Sears has really great advice for sleeping. good luck!
in response to the mom insisting co-sleeping is dangerous....
The September/October 2002 issue of Mothering Magazine presents research done throughout the whole world on the issue of safe sleep. Numerous studies are presented by experts of excellent reputation. And what is the magazine's conclusion based on all this research? That not only is sleeping with your baby safe, but it is actually much safer than having your baby sleep in a crib. Research shows that infants who sleep in a crib are twice as likely to suffer a sleep related fatality (including SIDS) than infants who sleep in bed with their parents.
it is shame that happened to that mother and her child- but i'm curious if there is anything missing from that story.
i swear, when it comes to letting your poor BABY cry-animals in the wild take better care of their young!!
I believe children at this age still don't have a concept of what I call "behind the door." If you walk to the other side of the door and shut it, they have no idea you are on the other side. You have disappeared. So cold turkey might be a little frightening to him.
I heard someone to say to start small. Rock him until he is really drowsy, put him in his bed and sit beside it and soothe him. Don't make eye contanct or talk to him. Just pat his back. As he gets used to this quit patting his back and just sit there next to him. Then when he is used to that move your chair across the room by the door. Then stand at the door, then the hallway. Eventually he should be able to put himself to sleep.
Hello S.,
You are not alone! I have a three yr. old who will not stay in his toddler bed. My husband and I made the mistake of allowing him in our room from birth as well. I understand the frustration that you are going through. You said that he ate well for breakfast so you know that he is not hungry. If you have checked his diaper and he has not soiled it. Then he might have gas, which is making him uncomfortable. You might trying turning on soft radio/CD lay him on his tummy in his bed and rub his back. I know this sounds tiring but if he has gas this might be your only solution. If you have not already call his pediatrician and let them know whats going on. If they feel it's nothing then try turning on the radio/CD and leave the room. He will still probably cry but hopefully the music will soothe him. I know it is hard to walk away while they are crying and you want to comfort him. But if you have checked with his pediatrician, he has a full tummy, and has not soiled his diaper then the best thing is to let him try and comfort himself (if that makes sense).
First, let me say, you poor thing!! Second,t o be honest, this is exactly the reason that I don't believe in CIO. I know that there are people who will tell you to just stick to it, it will get better. It might. Who really knows. There are also people that will tell you that you HAVE to do this in order to make him learn to self soothe. You don't have to. Why do we HAVE to let our kids scream? Unless, you are totally against it, there is nothing wrong with him sleeping with you. There is also nothing wrong with giving him a bottle (if he still takes one) & rocking him to sleep and picking him up when he cries. Yes, it may take longer. Again, who knows? But, he will figure out how to sleep on his own. In my personal opinion, if you are up all night listening to him scream, no one in the house is getting any sleep. You and your husband, and only the 2 of you, get to decide what will work for you. I'm sure that you know this, from your other kids, but one of the first things I learned with my second one was: nothing works for every child. My daughter is SOOOOOO different from my son, it was like having a first all over again. None of the same things worked for her that worked for him.
Good luck and my thoughts are with you!! :)
I just had to put something in here. There are some moms on here suggesting that as opposed to crying it out, you should cave and put your child in bed with you. Just so everyone is aware of this- In the local news yesterday, there was a story in which a woman co-slept with her child. Unfortunately, the child died. This woman is being charged with her childs death. I say if your child is crying, go in and pick him up for a bit and then lay him back down in his bed. Keep doing that and eventually he will fall asleep in there and he will understand that you are there for him. Hopefully, the amount of times you have to go in and pick him up are fewer and fewer each night. I hope this helps. Please do not put your child in danger by sleeping with him. I know that everyone seems to have an opinion on this but apparently the law enforcement community has an opinion too! You could lose your child and your freedom! Shannon
In my opinion, something to think about is that if you do get him to sleep in his own bed, you will not only have time for do stuff around the house but you will also have some spare time to spend time with your other children without the baby needing your constant attention.
I suggest you rock him til he's really drowsy, lay him down and then pat his back while you play some soft music, once he dozes off leave the music on til he is really out cold but you can go on and enjoy your "free" time.
I am not going to do the co-sleeping is dangerous preaching thing, it doesnt matter what my opinion of that is since you've been doing it this long and you're not asking for advice on if you should do it or not. I am going to say that it is a habit that you really should break now while he is young and forgiving, lol. Once he gets older it will be MUCH harder. Yes, he may cry in his crib now, but when he is older he won't be stuck inside a crib and he will be free to get out of bed as often as he pleases to insist that he sleep with you. Going to be hard to have that "one more baby" you mentioned if you have to worry about a little one crawling into your bed night after night.
Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He is a pediatrician who specializes in infant/child sleep issues and has done so for over 30 years. A lot of the issues you describe are addressed in the book, along with consistent techniques to solve his sleep problems. Good luck to you.
I wonder if he's too old for this or not, but did you see the Oprah where she had the baby expert on? There is an Australian woman who broke down the cries into 5 basic categories and the women she helped had no more crying babies (cried for maybe 10 seconds). The response was to what they were asking for so they had no more need to cry. Hope it helps....
