Help- My 5 Mth Old Prefers to Tank up at Night!

Updated on July 30, 2008
W.T. asks from Brooklyn, NY
4 answers

My 5 mth old son wakes up often during the evenings to nurse, and I am 99% confident it is because he is not eating enough during the day. It is frustrating because he was sleeping much better at around 2 mths!! The problem is, I can't figure out how to get him to nurse longer during the day. My thinking is that he won't because he is a) hot b) distracted c) teething d) knows he can catch up night, when it is dark and boring. I tried stretching out the feeds a bit, so that he would be really hungry and get a full feed, which seemed to work one day, but not the other. He went almost 4 hours yesterday without eating (b/c he wound up napping really long yesterday) and then nursed for about 5 minutes and wanted nothing more to do with it!! I also am trying to feed him lying down, in a dark cool room. Still, he usually drains only one breast, and nurses for less than 10 minutes. When i get really persistent and try to keep feeding him, he nurses for a second or two, and turns his head away. We are also co-sleeping (he sleeps in his co-sleeper mostly) and many of my friends who also have this arrangement have the same issue. I've been wondering if i need to cut down the feeds at night so he catches up during the day, but am freaked out by the idea of a night of hungry baby :-(. Has anyone dealt with this? I am soon back to work, and worry that this will only get worse with me not around to nurse him during the day!

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E.E.

answers from Albany on

At 5 months old, babies can get out a lot more than you think they can in 5 or 10 minutes. so he is probably draining your breast during that time. Offer the second but don't push it on him. Also don't stretch out his feedings during the day because he will be hungrier at night. He is waking up more now because he is aware of his environment and since he is in the bed with you he probably is waking up even easier because he can smell your milk. My son is in a crib but he started waking up more around 4 or 5 months too. Previously he had been sleeping about 7 or 8 hour stretches. It's basically a phase. Pick one night waking and feed him then. The rest of the times he wakes up, don't touch him and he will go back to sleep. If he doesn't go back to sleep, then take minimal steps to get him back to sleep. The more a parent intervenes in a child's sleeping habits, the more they will wake up. Often babies will make noise, roll around and even open their eyes while they are still asleep o half-asleep. If you pick them up or pat their backs, they may actually wake up, but if you leave them alone, they will learn to stay asleep. 5 months is old enough to start learning to fall asleep on his own. If you start now, then it won't be as much of a hassle when he gets older. Plus he is probably starting to be too big for the co-sleeper and waking himself up when he hits the sides of it. Try putting him in the crib and I bet he will sleep longer on his own. Buy the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Yes, he is a fan of the cry it out method, but I like the book for the rest of the advice it contains. It's really great for getting him on a good sleep schedule and helping them sleep through the night. And your son might surprise you and fall asleep on his own without crying. I thought for sure it would be a huge battle. We started with trepidation and made the rule that as long as he wasn't crying, it was ok. But you have to make the distinction between whining and crying. If he started truly crying, we went in to check on him. Now at 6 months, it usually takes him only 10-15 minutes to fall asleep on his own, without crying. He usually talks to himself and sometimes will whine a bit, but rarely cries before bed anymore. Then he wakes around 5 for a feeding and then goes back to sleep until 7 or 7:30. Once you get him sleeping more at night, it will be easier for you to get up in the morning and be productive and an easier transition to work too.

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C.R.

answers from New York on

My son was a very hungry baby too, and around 5 months our doctor actually advised us to start a small serving of rice cereal mixed with breast milk once a day around lunchtime until the 6th month mark when the rest of the foods were introduced. I was reluctant since all the books say 6 months, and I was worried about allergies, but it ended up just being the right thing to do for him and he went back to sleeping through the night. Talk to your doctor if you think this is the case with your little boy...

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A.H.

answers from New York on

ugh, yes, i have experienced this, but my situation was that my daughter was older (10 months) and my concern was that she wasn't interested in taking solids. i actually contacted a dietician and her advice was to cut her off from breastmilk at night. this was very hard because my daughter co-sleeps right in my bed with me and, frankly, i was used to the boob pacifying her so that we could all, basically, sleep through the night. finally at 1 year old, we changed up our sleeping arrangement and now she sleeps next to my husband and he is the one who comforts her when she wakes to eat. at her age, it is basically breaking the habit (as in she doesn't need the calories at night anymore) so you may want to check with someone to make sure that cutting your baby off from breastmilk at night is the right choice for your son at his age. it was hard... she cried a lot. we started a couple of weeks ago and she is still protesting, but less. honestly, i am not sure if she is eating more during the day as a result of eliminating evening feeds as of yet, but i thought i would share my experience as the advice came from a professional. good luck!

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J.J.

answers from New York on

hi W.;

first of all let me congratulate you on a really successful nursing relationship w your baby. you are doing a great job and i hate to tell you this but everything you describe is totally normal and very common. i have had and continue to have the same exact sitch here.

my son just weaned at 3 yrs old and my daughter 17 months is still nursing. i nursed my son right thru my pgncy w my daughter for, at first, similar reasons to what you describe; he was only 20 mo when she was born, he was a huge nurser, and very distractable during the day and would usually nurse 2xs per night and sometimes more. i did try to whittle down the night nurses at one point w him but he screamed so that it was not at all worth the effort.

as i have written here many times, and you will find this in a lot of established liturature, breastfed babies often have a markedly higher intelligence and level of interaction than formula feeders; which means that during the day they are busy and curious, and you are exactly right, inclined to tank up at night. ironically this is a sure sign of a really healthy baby and really great nursing relationship. also keep in mind, the baby LOVES YOU LIKE CRAZY and he wants to be close to you enjoy his nursing as much as possible.

i would try these two things; look at the Dr. Jay Gordon website for "family bed" for ideas about cutting back on night nursing if you decide that's what you want to do. his suggestions are by far the most humane and realistic. you can also look at

kellymom.com

and

askmoxie.com

for more thoughts and ideas about your situation.

but you might want to go to your local La Leche League Intl. meeting to talk about this and see what other moms are doing. just google the organization and i think if you go to 'resources' you will find your local chapter.

you may find that some of the intention at LLLI is to dissuade you from limiting any nursing at all, and if you find that to be overbearing, that's fine, then it's not for you. there is a wide variety of practices and opinions within LLLI that might be helpful.

from my own experience i would only say this; the more you give in the easier this will all go. you need sleep, when you go back to work you will need more sleep, and the most likely reality will be that if you try to limit night nursing, the baby is going to put up a fight, and that's NOT going to get you more sleep. i found that the more i fought the night nursing in any capacity the more anxious and crazy making the situation became. once i liberated myself from the idea that me and the babies "had to sleep thru the night" and just accept that the babies needed to nurse, i got a lot more sleep and felt a lot better about them and about myself.

your baby is a terriffic and efficient nurser. my daughter is like that; five minutes, plop, thanks mom see ya later. my son was not like that. lazy, languid, he'd rather lay there and boob around. it is NOT likely, as another mom pointed out, that your baby is not getting enought. if your baby has plenty of wet and poopy diapers, is gaining weight, has energy, and especially if he's doing these fast nurses, that really probably means he's getting plenty and he's getting it fast. this is great!

once you go back to work, as counter-intuitive as this sounds, i would urge you to keep on w the night nursings and not try to change it for these reasons; number one, you WON'T HAVE TO PUMP or give formula! hooray! your baby will be old enough in one more month to have pretty much whatever food he wants, and to start drinking water from a sippy cup or straw cup. neither of my kids used a bottle ever. if you nurse the baby as much as possible in the morning before you go, right when you get home, and as much as he needs during the night, he will be getting plenty of breastmilk. and during the daycare time he can suck on fruit like watermelon and cantaloup which is yummy and will keep him hydrated, he can chew a soft bagel, gnaw baby cookies, have sweet potato and regular potato and very well boiled or roasted chicken or turkey; anything he can hold and slobber he can have. my kids never ate one bite of baby food. so that's one.

two is, the baby and you are going to miss each other a LOT. this is going to be hard for you, don't kid yourself. i would say the two of you will get a lot more security and bonding from 2 or 3 or 4 night time ten minute nursing sessions than you yourself would get out of sleep or certainly out of fighting him off for that period. night nursing will help both of you transition. and because you know that he's getting enough nutrition, that will help ease any feelings of anxiety that you may have about returning to work.

W. you are doing a great job and the next steps are going to lay themselves out in front of you just fine.

good luck
J.

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