Help! My 2 Year Old Scratches Me and Thinks It's Funny

When my first did some of this I stumbled upon a solution because one time he pulled my hair really hard and tried to grab my glasses - my glasses are really hard to replace and take forever to make so I really yelled "NO!" deposited him in his crib and left to see if I could repair my glasses - last time he ever tried pulling my hair or glasses. Even my very stubborn DD, who usually laughed and smiled during time outs stopped the pinching when given the crib deposit and being totally ignored for a few. It did, however, take more than once with her - but the consistency ruined any fun for her.

Sometimes I think you just have to get a little mad and super firm - not a bunch of yelling or anything, but also not a lot of discussion.

Good luck - I know some kids are just harder to redirect than others.

Oh I understand what you're going through! My 21 month old scratches, pinches, and worst of all bites my husband and I constantly and has been doing so for about a year now. He sometimes does it when he wants attention, and other times he does it when we're already playing with him. Like this morning and I were sitting reading a book when he just leaned over and bit my hand hard, then laughed. Argh!

I asked a question here about it recently and unfortunately didn't get much helpful info. Time outs just plain don't work on him. I'm not sure if he's too young or if that method just doesn't work for his personality, but it definitely has NO effect now. We do a stern but calm "no biting/scratching/etc" when he does it, and we immediately get up and walk away from him. We've tried distracting with toys, pretending to cry, all the usual advice! We're also really trying to work on him using his words to express himself rather than biting/scratching, but so far not much progress there either. The only thing that's nominally effective is stopping him before he does it--we try to watch him closely and if we see him leaning in to bite we move/distract/etc.

So unfortunately I don't have any great advice, but I wanted you to know you're not alone! People can get really snippy and act like you're being ridiculous to get upset about toddler behaviors like this ("they don't know any better!"), but personally I think it's not something that can be accepted when you're doing something dangerous like cooking. Plus it really hurts, and I think it's perfectly normal to want to stop your kid from hurting you! I think the suggestion about keeping him out of the kitchen (either with a gate or by occupying him with something like TV, a book, etc) is the best one. I try not to park him in front of the TV too much, but I've started turning on my son's favorite show whenever I need to do something potentially hazardous. It usually stops his sneak attacks on me.

Good luck!

My DD used to bite me on the leg, and just me. I said, "No biting!" very sharply and she went right into time out. By the time she was 2 it was very rare for her to do this and she knew the rule so I didn't warn her. If you've taken down the gates, consider putting one or two back up so you can corral him outside the kitchen when you cook.

DD would similarly attack me when I was working. I tried to head it off when I needed some computer time. "DD, I'm going to work now. What would you like to work on? Would you like to play with playdough or crayons today? When I am done working, we can play together." Maybe you set him up with some bowls and fake food and measuring cups to do something in the area, but not get in your way. DD has her own play stove that we sometimes set her up with.

Our time out spot is the floor mat in the kitchen. Just evolved into that. I can put the mat anywhere in the kitchen and tell her to sit on the time out mat. You might get a small rug for him and make that the time out spot.

The Time Out spot is ANYWHERE, a place on the floor with no toys near, a step, anything. At two he should be staying in his time out spot until he is allowed to get up, if not be VERY FIRM. I've had kind of "grown up" conversations with little ones this age about hurting or hurting feelings and they have seemed to understand what we were talking about.

Good Luck!

mine does this too. But only when he is mad. I usually hold his arms down at his sides for 30secs. he hates that because he wants to be moving all the time. but usually when I do that and look him in the eye and say no scatching it hurts. he will stop. As for time outs we sit him on a chair in the kitchen. we sit the chair in the middle so he can't touch anything. sometimes it works and sometimes he will stand on the chair and shout "sit down!" and laugh.

To me scratching, or anything that causes pain to another person, hitting, kicking, biting, is aggression. And a major capital offense. It's not your job to get angry at a toddler for learning, but this does need firm discipline for the safety of others and to click immediately with a 2 year old.

My two year old daughter attempted her first (and last) try at biting several weeks ago. I heard the blood curdling scream from my 3 year old and found him with a black finger tip and two little DEEP teeth marks. He was so frantic and in pain, he was literally wincing away from her and screaming at her to get away from him. She looked at me like a dear in headlights, not understanding what had happened. Because this will never be allowed, I did what stopped all such behaviors in just one try in all my kids.

I got down eye level and calmly said in my gravest serious voice, "You do NOT BITE." while pointing at her brother's finger. She KNEW the jig was up and said "sorry" but just for the sake of security, I gave her a very firm, non angry swat on the butt. She cried like her heart would break. When she calmed down, I reminded her again never to bite and told her to give her brother a hug and say sorry to him. They were laughing and playing two minutes later. She hasn't done it again, and she won't. None of my kids have ever needed hovering or redirecting. A simple "no" is all they need to drop the stick or whatever at a playground or daycare. They do not hurt others.
As for the rumor that spanking will confuse or teach aggression is OK: total lie. All my friend's non spanked kids hit, pinch, bite, kick, and scratch for much longer.

Do not give your child the innate belief that wounding you is anything less than absolutely not tolerated. You can use logic for him and milder consequences like time outs when he gets older and his foundation of right and wrong is firm. He's too young to reason at this age, but he does have impulse control.

Wow, hmm... my solution to this problem is much different. The loud voice is actually why your kid thinks it's funny. He likes getting a rise out of you. Instead, try keeping a level head, and just asking him to be gentle when he touches you, that hands are for being gentle. Model it. Show him that your hands are gentle, and hold his hand and gently use it to pat you. Ask him to pet you gently on his own -- when he does, praise him. Get "Hands are not for hitting" from the library or book store. Before you start cooking, make sure that he has a really engrossing toy -- maybe even put his favorite toy up on a shelf all day but get it down for your dinner prep time -- he is just looking for attention when he is getting bored. If you give him more attention for the good behavior of being gentle than for the bad behavior of being rough, he will change his behavior. Spend some time modeling gentle touching on stuffed animals, and praise him for being gentle. I had some success with leaving a massage toy around for rubbing my back -- if my daughter asked me if she could rub my back with it, I tried my best to put down my cooking for 1 minute so she could give me some "warm fuzzies," which she knew I liked better than "cold pricklies."

the fastest way to cure the scratching problem is ti tell them , ok, you scratched me, you know what ? we are not going to grandmas tomorrow, because you scratched me. that cures them real fast.
K. h.