Ok, not a HUGE deal but I need some advice and words of encouragement. I have no lady friends with children my daughter's age so I'm reaching out to you.
My darling daughter is 5, she will be brand new 6 when she starts kindergarten.
I'm have so many worries about sending her to school, thank God we can walk there from our home. I fear bullies and I fear she'll latch on so hard to "friends" and be hurt when they drift away, I'm worried she'll not she suited for public school. I fear she'll have a school experience like I had and struggle. She's never been in a "classroom" environment. She never attended pre-school and has only been "free-range" taught by myself. She's never had a large number of play-dates either. On the rare occasion she does meet someone about her age to play with it goes well. She's an only child right now and tends to.."mommy" situations. She's always had one-on-one attention from myself. She tends to be a "butterfly" personality, she get bored quickly and moves on to the next item of interest. She's very clever and sweet, tends to think everyone who smiles at her is her friend forever. She not only moves to the beat of her own drummer, she is her own drummer.
Help me not worry Moms. My baby is going to school!! Any advice on how to prepare her for this big step in her life, advice for me?
Thank you! I think I'm just suffering from "bye bye first born"-itis. I've managed to keep her in one piece so far, I must be doing something right. I'll look into the local YMCA to see if they have anything for her age group.
About my schooling, I moved around a lot, military. I'm also dyslexic and have mild ADD. The social was easy for me, the academic side was a near disaster. I was so terrified of everything when I moved back to the USA I was unable to attend College. I moved from Alaska to be with my husband. I have no real support system here, must of my husband's friends are still single, the one local married couple we know, has two girls are just now old enough for play-dates we'll set things up for this summer. I'm not trying to keep her from things, at least I don;t think I am, I just don't have the resources.
It'll be OK. :)
Children for hundreds and thousands of years at least, have been walking off to a life of independence with school attendance at the age of 5/6.
She'll do fantastic... And here's why:
She has you.
You who are all concerned and worried about these things (but probably not showing a hair of it to keep her from worrying). You who already knows signs to look for in struggling, and who will be proactive about getting her help OR changing her school situation. You, who cares so much about her happiness and success, that even though things MIGHT go badly, you would never ever let things stay that way.
No matter how easy or how difficult things get, you two will be able to figure out how to make things great.
So she will do fantastically.
And so will you.
This is legit worries you are having. My youngest is 5 and he just finished kindergarten. He will turn 6 in June and be ready for 1st grade. He had a lot of friends in his class. He had a blast!! There were kids who said I won't be your friend if you drink chocolate milk or if you play with this kid. But he took his own direction and drank chocolate milk and played with the other kids. You just have to teach them really well at home to be an independent little person. You do have legit worries, but they are worries only. This was my final child to go off to school. It was harder on me than it was on him. I cried and cried for the first week. He went to school and came home with a smile on his face everyday! So we really reversed roles.
She will be fine :)
First, you need to relax. If you are that worried, your fears will be conveyed
to her and then you will have a problem. Isn't this what you have worked
for the past six years. You have raised her well, made her an independent
little girl, ready to go out and experience life. Be proud of yourself. You did
a great job. What I would do, is see if there is a summer camp program
that you can enroll her in so that she gets the feel of being in a group and
following directions in a group setting. You know the old saying, you kids
two things in life, roots and wings. Let her fly Mama. She will do fine!
Aww! Don't worry. Some percentage of kids in every K class have never been away from mom and so teachers are trained to deal with this.
My advice on how to prepare her? Get her into a program over the summer where she will interact with other kids. It could be art, music, sports or even full on summer camp. Check with your local community center. Ours even offers a Kindergarten prep class.
First and foremost, she's a little girl, not a baby, so please relax.
Second, preschool is not really necessary (though a good one is awesome IMO!) As long as she knows how to sit still for ten to fifteen minutes at a time (they still move around a lot in kindergarten) share, take turns, go potty on her own, etc. she will be fine.
Third, and perhaps MOST important: do not project your own experiences, insecurities and fears on your child! So many of us have been guilty of this (myself included) but it's so important, to treat all of life's adventures as something positive, especially school.
When my kids started school all I thought about was the learning, reading, art, games, friends, recess, lunch...and all the FUN they were going to have there! Are mean kids and bullies sometimes a problem? Of course. But why focus on the negative and worry about what "could" happen?
Roots and wings, you know the saying right?
If she struggles or has a hard time, you will be there for her, but why assume that she will? Why not assume the best?
She will be overwhelmed & there will be an adjustment period, especially since she's never been away from home.
My biggest advice is to not let YOUR worries, fear & anxiety show to your daughter. Kids are perceptive & will take on those feelings, even if they were okay before.
((((HUGS)))) M..
The first is always the hardest and when it's an only it can be doubly hard.
I second getting her involved in some summer activities with kids that would go to her school.
Also you need to get out and do something. Even volunteering at the library or hospital will keep your mind off of her until she gets home.
And she will love school.
While she is old enough, she will be at a disadvantage having not attended preschool, which is all about socialization, routines, following directions. Then again, she will be at an advantage to those not yet 6. I would recommend enrolling her in a dance class this summer, which is very structured and most similar to the routines/structure one would see in preschool and kindergarten. Expect the first month to be an adjustment for ANY kindergartner but one she WILL get used to. Relay only positive words to her, and like others have said, role play is a great idea. Best of luck to you.
Sounds like a great kid. She's going to be fine, but you have to let her be fine. Probably won't hurt to get her into an organization or activity outside of school to foster more relationships.
I didn't read the other replies, so if it's been said I'm sorry, but chances are this is new. :) I kept my daughter home. We homeschooled, and other than gymnastics and a few family friends and random activities she was home. She started school this year, at age 9.
I know I know, I do know just how it sounds but the reasons we kept her home don't matter much. The fact of the matter is that even at 9 I worried, and I worried more because she had been home for so long and soooo many people get on the whole socialization thing and how my poor daughter had none.
My daughter has straight A's
weekly playdates
little girls that call her every weekend
her first crush on a boy
is the delight of her teachers
does get into trouble (so she isn't perfect, just normal)
walks into the room and instantly has a friend by her side
and I could keep going but you get the point
no bullies, no tantrums or tears when things didn't go her way, even though as the only girl in the house she's quick to tears at home to get her way. I've never once heard she didn't have the social skills to keep up.
I'm still worried, it's what us moms are good at, but I know she's fine. She is a more confident person that I ever was, than I am now, and she's just a kid.
Stand back and let her go, keep your fears to yourself and let her make you proud. I bet she does.
Hi! I'm a mom of 4 grown children and a daycare provider of over 21 years! You have legit concerns. Your daughter may do just fine or she may have a really hard time. With the experience I have, my strong advice is to get your daughter involved in something regular for this summer where she is with a group of children her own age and with you not there. I would do this asap. Little kids can be very 'mean.' I witness even some preschoolers who will say things like 'you can't come to my birthday' and 'you are not my friend.' However in most cases a few hours later they are best friends. I have noticed that the parents who take the time to instill values in their young children (and respect), do not have children who say these 'mean' things as a general rule. All you can do is teach your own child respect for others. You can also teach her and give her the tools to defend herself against bullies, etc. My other advice aside from getting her involved now is to role play with her different situations and how to handle them. If and when (because it WILL happen) she faces a bully she will be better equipped with how to handle it. And above all do NOT be a helicopter mom!! Allow her the chance to grow without overshadowing her. Do not always just jump in at the slightest provocation. Allow her to learn. And relax!!
Your little one will be fine... kids adjust better then we do! Most schools kinda work the kids into learning. They do break up the school day & have ways of keeping most kids on task. They don't just sit at desks all day... they do lots of fun stuff in kindergaten too.
My son will turn 5 in June & will be starting kindergaten - he will be joining 2 older siblings attending the same school (they will be in 2nd & 3rd) so he does know some of the staff already. Call the school since you live so close & see if they will let you come up a few times before the school closes for summer & meet a few of the staff members. Even if it's just the ladies in the office - it would be a face she knows.
Also, they usually have open house - take her to it, meet the teacher before school starts. You can stay as long as you like or at least for the 2-3 hours they have open house. Most schools also let you walk them to class the first week. If you need to walk her to class, but don't let her see you cry or it will upset her, wait till you are out of her site to do that. Yes, I do get "weird" the first few days of school every year, eventhough I have 6 kids - it is still a hard thing to let your kids take that big step. I have one who will be a senior this year... so she is getting ready for the big step too - that will also be hard. She is my first to graduate... their is 10 years between my 1st & 2nd and a total of 17 yrs between my first and last. So, I still have 2 more to start kindergarten after the one that starts in the fall. Hoestly, I think my youngest will be the hardest to let go to kindergarten, but I have 5 years before I have to deal with that (she is only 6 mo. old - lol).
As for all your fears... we all have fears - it just means you want the best for your child. It is normal!!! But your girl will be fine! She will be excited to get her first pair of school shoes, her new school clothes, to pick-out her first bookbag, and her new school supplies... yes she will make friend, yes some might move away, yes some will be life-long friends. But through it all - you will be her mom & be there to pick her up or to listen to her great adventures... even the ones that happen on the playground, in the classroom or while practicing for her Winter or Spring programs - which are so cool to go see. Try to remember all the new things you will expericance with her, not all the things you fear may happen to her... it will help you both enjoy it more!
Sign her up for some group summer activities. They have little ballerinas for a week, or arts and crafts for a week etc..etc.. it will give her some good exposure
I know where you are coming from :)
