Help Me Help My Son...

C.,

Don't let your pediatrician blow you off like that. I would go for a second opinion. My daughter did the same thing. She would be up all night. Sometimes a half hour after bedtime. I was so sleep deprived I couldn't function but yet I didn't know what was wrong. I finally tried a new doctor and during her physical checkup he told me could not properly see her ear drum because there was so much wax. He recommended a specialist who when I took her he pulled a plug of wax out of her ear the size of my pinky. I was horrified because behind the wax she had an abscessed ear drum. I felt horrible and the best part was she was not cranky during the day she just couldn't sleep at night because she was in pain. She ended up after constant ear infections and having tubes put in at a year old but the first doctor missed it completely. If the Ferber method is done properly it really shouldn't fail so I would have her medically checked out by another doctor just to make sure there is not something else bothering her. Good luck!!

Poor Mama! How awful for you. With another baby on the way, you must be desperate to fix this problem! Not only for your sleep now, but your sanity and sleep later when caring for two. I know because I've been through it. Are there bumper pads on the crib? We had to leave them on until about 21 months with our son, who is a restless sleeper. He won't sleep with us, but believe me, I tried! Our bed is just an enormous toy. But if you're going to be nursing, you'll want your son in his own bed or crib when the new baby comes. Have you given him a pillow?

I have a few suggestions: insist your doctor take you more seriously - this could be a food allergy, an ear issue, or something else. I know plenty of kids who slept terribly for years, to find out they had a serious food allergy (dairy, eggs, wheat, or all of the above). You could even try an ENT if you want. And then I would suggest taking your son to a chiropractor who does holistic practice and is child-friendly. You wouldn't even believe how a chiro can help!!

I won't be popular for suggesting this, but you may just have to all out let him cry. Without going into soothe him. At this age it might take over a week or longer to work. My son almost never sleeps past 6am, since he was born. Whenever we try something new to fix a sleep problem, we have to do it for at least a week to see if it works. We had no luck with Pantley or Ferber or anything no-cry at all. Our son NEEDS to soothe himself by crying, and when we weren't letting him just take care of it, we were making him more frustrated and overtired, compounding the sleeping problems. Once we just let him cry (it felt endless - the first night over an hour!), he finally got good sleep! But it comes and goes and ocassionally we have to do a "fix" of some sort. I hope this was even just a tiny bit helpful. Good luck to you!

C.,

This EXACT thing happened to us and it turned out to be a food allergy/sensitivity. We removed mucous forming foods from his diet until he was two and then began to reintroduce them according to the "challenge plan" and he is now 3 and doing superbly. He outgrew all of the food sensitivities. Apparently it's just that sometimes kids digestive tracts aren't ready to handle the "harshness" of some foods on their systems until they mature a little bit more. When I began that diet I saw a HUGE change in his sleep habits. He went from waking every 45 minutes to 2 hours (since he was 7 months old) to sleeping 10 hours straight. It only took about 2 weeks for the diet to kick in and his system be cleared of all trigger foods. My second son now is exhibiting the same symptoms (starting at 9 months) and I started the same diet with him and I (I'm nursing still) and he's sleeping beautifully now as well. I don't know if this would be YOUR son's trigger, but my dr said that these are often the foods that bother young ones b/c they produce excess mucous in the stomach and can cause terrible gas pains if their system is not ready to handle it yet. If you're interested in learning more, or would like a list of the foods, send me a note. Best wishes to you! I know exactly how you feel, and I truly pray this is something that can help you!!

Oh hon, you must be a WRECK! I agree that it may be time to call in professional help here. If you've consistently tried sleep training (giving Ferber, etc. a solid 1-2 weeks of intense effort!) and he's still this restless and difficult, then maybe there's a medical problem? Talk to a specialist. Your pediatrician shouldn't just blow this off.

You need sleep for baby #2. Do whatever it takes!

C.,

I feel for you - my two are horrible sleepers, plus they share a room! At any rate, I think what you need to do is take a look at what he's doing during the day. You don't say, but is he in day care? With a sitter? With you? What is he doing and does he need some more activity to tire him out? A few nights of a deep sleep might help to get him on the right track. Otherwise, you really need to just go in to his room, leaving on minimal light, check to make sure he's ok and not hurting himself or hurt, and then leave him to cry and scream himself to sleep. It's so hard to sit there and listen to it, but it's the only way he will learn to self-soothe, or else you'll be like my girlfriend whose husband sleeps on the couch because her 6-year-old and 9-year-old share her bed because they refuse to sleep anywhere else. Maybe leave him with a night light or an overhead light dimmed with some toys and books but you have to leave him alone and let him put himself to sleep. You just have to. That's all there is to it.

Good luck! I know how hard it is. Mine still wake up and for the sake of getting sleep, I would bring them into my bed, but my husband put his foot down and it was exactly what we all needed - now if they wake up, we go in tuck them back in, sit with them for a minute and they fall back asleep. Still not idea, but much better than it was.

call a sleep center.. and let them find out what's going on. maybe he is in pain or something. call .. and make an appt. you need sleep and so does he.. good luck

Have you tried putting him in his crib and letting him cry it out? (Or gate him in, if the crib is gone.) He really needs to learn to soothe himself. This is kind of hard core, I know, but you need to figure something out quick! I had to do it with my oldest some, and she would scream up to an hour before settling down, but she finally did and it got better and better. She was younger when we went through this tho (6 mo?) and now we're having 4 year old sleep issues and nightmares. I wish I could tell you these issues went away, but I guess some kids are just not good sleepers. But you need to play hard ball and now! AT 18 months he should understand the rules if you lay them out for him plain and simple. Good luck.