OK. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy. He's great, but he's killing me at night. He will go to sleep in his room in his bed. He loves his bed and his room! But in the middle of the night he will wake up and crawl into bed with my husband and I. Now when I say crawl, I mean climb across my head to get into the middle. Always on my side on the bed too!! I let him lay down till he falls asleep and then I put him back in his bed... if he wakes up it's like I unleashed a demon!!! And I have a bad back... ciatica... so his sleeping in my bed is le-iterally killing my back and it's very uncomfortable to sleep. I wake up at 5am to go to work (new job) exhausted and in pain. I need help. Keep in mind that I also have a 4 month old who shares his brothers room and I can't let the older one scream in fear that he'll wake the baby. Is there anyone who has gone through this and has any pointers? Any tips would be so helpfull!!! I live in a 2 bedroom condo so they really need to share a bedroom because there's no where else for the baby to sleep.
Success!! Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice. My back thanks you too! We used a couple differnet methods that were suggested. We took him straight back to bed each and every time he came into our room and just sat in his room with our heads down until he went back to sleep. We did that so he wouldn't cry and wake the baby. We also turned off his night light. We sleep in the complete dark so he likes it that way too, and that way the shadows don't scare him. We also explained to him that when he wakes up in the middle of the night that it's ok but he should just snuggle up with his blanket and puppy doll and go back to sleep. So far all these things have done wonders. I have had 4 full nights without him in my bed and it's great! Thanks again!
I am so sorry. I had the exact same situation except my boys are 5 years apart so I couldn't let the baby scream because my older son was in school.
My "baby" is now 7 years old and still crawling into bed with me at least 1-2 nights a week. I also would like some advise.
You truly have my sympathies.
I am the mother of 3 boys - 3 1/2, 19 months, and 6 months. We live in fairly cramped quarters as well and none of the books talk about how to solve a sleep issue taking into consideration other babies! My oldest was doing the exact same thing. a couple of months ago we bought bunk beds for him and the 19 month old (for the future). i got really cute bedding at target and we made a huge deal of the "new room". he and the 19 month old (who is a TERRIBLE sleeper) are in the same room.
At the same time, i decided to try a sticker chart (I was a teacher before i staye dhome with the 3). For every night he went to bed in HIS bed (as opposed to falling asleep in ours and carrying him to his) AND woke up in his bed in the morning, he got a sticker. when he gets 5 stickers (not in a row) he gets a little prize (a book, new crayons, etc - the dollar store has good stuff for cheap). or he would be able to earn "special time" with my husband or i or my sister, etc. then we would take him to the playground by himself, or even running errands with just him and i is a big deal to him.
Anyway, this plan has not had 100% success, but has made a good difference so far, and i too have a very bad back, so i totally get where you're coming from. Good luck!
Are you or your husband in the room with him when he first goes to sleep? Sometimes that causes a problem when normally your son would wake for a moment but then realizes no one is there so he hops out of bed to find you. If he is going to be on his own and still getting up, my advice would be to give him a hug and help him back into his own bed, and continue doing this until he stays in his bed and goes back to sleep. You'd be surprised what the 4 month old can sleep through. Also, an air purifier, fan, or noise machine could make a huge difference. Good luck. I hope this was helpful.
C.
Well, I might suggest switching the sleeping arrangements, perhaps putting the 4 month old in his/her crib in your bedroom until you can help the 2 and 1/2 year old get used to sleeping on his own, without awakening the baby.
Could your husband accompany the two year old to his bed and lay with him in his own bed to help save your back? That way your son wouldn't be leaving his room, but still get the comforting he needs to sleep on his own?
Maybe you could also introduce a lovie or stuffed animal that might be extra security for him at night. one thing you could do is help him to feel more independent for instance, during the daytime you could talk about waking up from his bed and coming to Mom and Dad's room and decide how he could deal with this in the future. What I mean is something like - "sometimes when Mommy wakes at night I need a drink or to go potty, then I get back into my bed and fall asleep what do you need to do when you wake up at night? How could you go back to sleep in your bed? could you put your (insert fave toy or lovie here) to bed and then help him sleep in your bed?"
you may have to separate the infant to your room and spend a couple of nights working with the 2 year old and getting him back in bed on his own with some fussing. I'm not a cry - it- out advocate, by any means, but you may need to have to help him gently and firmly reestablish his sleeping in his own bed with a few tears.
Good luck!
Can you put the 4 mos. old in a bassinet in your room or his own room until you get your 2-1/2 year old to stay in his bed all night? You can't let him crawl into bed and stay there. You have to immediately put him back. That is the only way I can think of to get a grip on your situation.
Hi P.-
We have gone through this. You have to be persistent in getting him back to his room right when he climbs into your bed. Telling him it's ok and he's a big boy now with a big boy bed all his own. If he has a "lovey" then reassure him that it is there. Even if you have to lay with him for a couple minutes. After a few nights of this, our son now sleeps through the night in his bed with an occasional coming into our room. Good luck! It definitely is a tough thing to deal with.
Hi P.,
Believe me, I understand your dilemma. I have twins and the first year was brutal at night. One slept pretty well after a while, and the other woke up screaming every few hours. We also needed sleep desperately. We ended up moving my daughter out of the nursery to our small office room and had her sleep in a portable crib - this lasted about 5-6 months and was well worth it. She still woke up a lot but didn't wake her brother.
I know your situation is different because your older child is capable of getting up and going to your bed. The first thing I'd suggest - move the baby into your bedroom if he/she sleeps pretty well - you're already getting up for feedings probably, although it would possibly wake up hubby. BUT you'd also have to break your 2 1/2 year old of his habit. When he comes into your room, as soon as he wakes you up, you'd have to get up and bring him back to his room and with the baby out of the room he could make a little noise before going back to bed. I found a nightlight and some lullaby music helped my kids at that age. It's hard to do, but you have to suffer a little up front for a week or so to break the habit. But once you do, you'll all sleep better. And you'll be kicking yourself for not doing it earlier. At age 2 and younger it would be harder, but I think mine were about 2 1/2 when we moved them to beds and broke their other bad sleep habits. Good luck!!! D.
Oh Good Morning P.,
I have a 2.5 yr old boy and a 3 month old boy. I am a teacher and so am up between 4-4:30 and can truly appreciate your situation. Is there any way you can put the 4 month old in his own room? Then you can work to help your 2 1/2 yr old go to sleep without fear of his waking his brother? That would be my first bit of advice. Then there are all sorts of books for helping parents to help their children sleep through the night. We used Richard Ferber's techniques for my 2 1/2 yr old and it worked like a dream when he was 6 months old. However, it is not for everyone (a technique known as Ferberizing). There are others out there, but with the added threat of waking the baby...that would make me so fearful to try anything. I guess I would start by having the 4 month old in his own room. Then, I would take parts of the advice I get here or from books and try them out to see which ones fit my famiy best. Do whatever you can to make your oldest realize he belongs in his bed not yours, because I have a dear friend whose children still climb into bed with her and they are school aged.
I know this wasn't a lot of advice, but I hope it was helpful. Also - you might ask your husband to carry the oldest back to bed, where you get up so early and to help your back. My husband takes the midnight feeding b/c I can't teach all day without sleep. I take the weekends.
Take care...
