HELP! Kids Won't Sleep!!

Updated on January 02, 2008
T.F. asks from Epsom, NH
8 answers

I have a 3 year old and a 13 month old (both boys) neither of which are good sleepers.
My 3 year old gets up in the middle of the night and "tries" to come in our bed...my husband an I take turns bringing him back to his own bed and settling him down. But he is usually up for good about 5:30 am. My 13 month old is also a very early riser (between 5 and 5:30). They both take only about an hour and a half nap per day, and go to bed between 7-8 (changing their bedtime to later does not help them sleep any later in the morning either...tried that.) I don't expect them to sleep till 8 am....I am just looking for maybe 6 or 6:30. Any suggestions?!

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

Sleep troubles are the worst. My sympathies to you. The book I found most helpful was called something like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child... I forget the name of the author. It is worth getting.. lots of helpful suggestions.
Hope you also get some rest soon. Best, M.

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D.L.

answers from Boston on

Good luck. Something very similar with kids 1 and 3. "Solved" it by having differing strategies for each. Eliminated naps for only the older one, had the younger one nap EARLY and did same bedtime for each, early. Or if the older one naps (as sometimes needed) I let her stay up a "bit" later. I was finding that it took her nearly the amount of naptime to fall asleep at night. I definitely never let them nap past 1pm if it was a normal bedtime.

Somehow there is a magic window that makes it easier to put them to bed that was way earlier than I thought, different for everyone. I watched their "windows of wakefulness". If they fall asleep between 6:15 and 6:30pm then they last till about 6 or 6:15 maybe even 6:30 in the morning. Somehow the 1 year old would wake up at 5:30 or 5:47 without fail if she fell asleep anytime after 6:45pm. Younger must be awake at least 5 hours, older one 6 to fall asleep easily (read in<15 mins)

Morning is shorter for naps: usually about 4 hours awake. My suggestion: Observe for yawning in morning, make nap earlier, then bedtime earlier for the young one. If it can work, eliminate naps for the older one and put him to bed earlier, too.

I wish you luck!

D.

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

what about a gate on their room? they can get up but they have to stay quiet and play until 6am.. you can try a digital clock for the 3 yr old and teach him what the 6 looks like and when he sees that, then he can come in. cut out their naps too.. see if that works.

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S.W.

answers from Boston on

When our son would come into our room in the middle of the night, we would also take turns carrying him back to bed. Well, we decided to make it "work" for him and made him walk back to bed (with our assistance, of course). This definitely helped with him not coming in any more!

Maybe if you put a sleep machine in his room or something, he may stay asleep longer? I can't think of anything else other than putting him to bed a little later than normal or doing something that will wipe him out before he falls asleep?

Much luck!

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A.M.

answers from Providence on

I have somewhat the same problem. Please let me know how you make out! My 19 month old son wakes up about 5:30 every morning. I have also tried changing his bed time, but it doesn't work. I would love to hear what ends up working for you. Sorry I couldn't help!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi T.,

When I had my first child I received a wonderful book, Healtyh Sleep Habits Happy Child (by Dr. Weisblum not sure of the spelling...something like that). The jist of the book states that sleep begets sleep, and if you want your child to get better sleep keeping good sleep schedules is important. It also suggested an earlier bed time for children who rise extra early or wake up in the night. This notion is counterintuitive but realy works.

Try moving up the bed time...earlier I mean...by 15 min to 1/2 hour and keeping naps religiously. This may help. Check out the book it was a great help.

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K.D.

answers from Boston on

I don't know if you have seen Dr. Weisbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. My sister (mom of twins and another 18 mos later) recommended it to me and I swear by it as do many other moms I know. (I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old). Anyway, this book actually suggests an earlier bedtime will often help kids sleep later in the AM - it sounds a little counter-intuituve but I have definitely found it to be true. It's on the premise that 'the more they sleep, the more they sleep'. It's a great book and I won't try to explain the entire thing here but maybe slowly shifting bedtime by 15-20 minutes earlier every night or two might help.

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K.K.

answers from Boston on

Hey T.,
A wise man, our pediatrician for over 22 years, once said, "there are 2 battles you cannot win; eating and sleeping. So don't enter the battlefield. I was skeptical, but at the time my daughter was 2 and I had a newborn son and needed to sleep myself. My daughter was the tough one who decided that waking up at night and screaming her head off while running down the hall was fun. I led her back to her room with the words, "nightime is for sleeping." However, that's not what I was showing her by getting up every time. Instead, one day during lunch, I tried very calmly and simply to set the rules for night. I said, "Honey, nightime is for sleeping. I need to sleep so that I can be a good Mommy for you and your baby brother. So if you wake me up at night and run down the hall making noise, I'm going to have to put a gate up at your doorway so that you can't leave your room. If you want to get up and look at books or quietly play, you may. But I will not get up with you." She was pretty precocious and tested me that very night. I got up to bring her back to her room, put a children's gate up and walked back to my roon without saying a word. She stood at that gate calling me for almost an hour before giving up and going to sleep. She didn't do it again. As for the timing of their awakening...sorry...my kids were always 5am risers. I used to leave books and safe toys in the bed/crib to try to steal a little extra time. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. My kids are now 22, 21, and 15....we all survive it, honest.
Good Luck,
K.

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