I have had similar issues with my 2.5 year old son. He has never been the best napper and resisted going to bed for some time. Especially after we transitioned him into his own room with a big boy bed that he could freely get in and out of on his own. We have done a couple of things:
1) keep the routine constant and help him to learn to fall asleep on his own without the aid of music, TV or rocking. We lay him in his bed, let him know that it is time to sleep read a book or 3, sing or hum to him, turn out the lights and tell him good night and not to get out of bed until the morning. If he does get out of bed, we put him back in and tell him good night. This could go on for a while. I really don't remember exactly what it was like in the begining, but I remember what worked was not really interacting with him. Just but him in his bed and say goodnight, time to sleep, whatever so that he knows that he is to be in his bed.
2)I have given up on naps. Some days he naps, somedays he doesn't. It is not worth it to me to have us both stressed out and fighting about it everyday for a1-3 hours. I do the same routine as bed time everyday. If he doesnt nap, then i may give in and let him have some quite time watching a movie....sometimes he will fall asleep during the movie- but 95% of the time, I can be assured that he is haveing at least 1.5 hours of resting.
3) We have recently purchased a stop light alarm clock for his room which has helped the process tremedously. At night or nap time, we turn the alarm on- which is a red light. He knows that when the light is red it is time to be in his room. When the alarm goes off, the light turns green. He knows that when the light is green he can come out of his room.
Prior to the light, we had other similar mechanism to let him know when he can come out of his room and offerered prizes when he stayed in his room until the designated time.
You and your husband first need to come up with a plan, then both stick to it.
I had altered our routine at one point in time...and it really frustred both my husband and son when my husband would put him to bed and didn't do the same thing as I was. Since my husband is the one who puts him to bed the most...I go with his routine. I have learned through trial and error that routine and consistnacy is key.....