I have 5 boys and have nursed every one of them, but not this long. I usually stop around 9-10 months, but my wonderful little #5 is 18 months and still waking up at night to nurse. He sleeps with us, has since he was born. We're ready to move him to his own room and stop nursing all together, but so far he is in big disagreement. Daytime weaning was fairly easy, he never took a bottle but does use a sippy. We eventually stopped the nursing to put him to sleep by letting him get himself to sleep in his Jump-a-roo. He's never been able to just lay down and go to sleep, the jump-a-roo or nursing is the only way.
The problem is that he's getting too big for both. My little guy is growing up and needs to move on to sleeping on his own, but I'm not sure how to help him. He just cries and cries and is inconsolable. After about 30 minutes I give in and nurse him back to sleep. I won't just let him cry, I can't do that. He's waking up between 3 and 5 times a night, we sleep together so its not keeping me awake but I'm ready to be done. I want to have another child and I need to stop nursing so I can get my cycle back. Also, my hubby is ready to have our bed back.
I guess my question is do I make all the adjustments at once? (no more jumper, nursing, or sleeping with mommy) or do one at a time. Any advice on how to wean him at this age? No longer a baby, but not old enough to understand mommy saying, "No more nursing".
I would say you should do one thing at a time. First the nursing, then the bed. At least that way you can still cuddle him when you can't nurse him. This way he will learn to put himself to sleep first, and then you just have to wean him from your bed. Good luck!
what i would say is to stop the jumperoo thing first. that isnt nearly as important a connection as you are! trust me, babies (even 18 month old ones) need their mamas! one thing that might help is trying to put his bed in your room. that way, it isnt far to go, he might wake up sometimes, see that you are there, and go back to sleep on his own. my son did that a lot. he stopped night nursing on his own around 15-17 months, but then he also self weaned altogether with no provocation from me at 19-20 months.
dont ask, dont refuse. it sounds like the family bed is more than ok with you. if your husband wants his bed back, weaning to get pregnant isnt a great idea, that just brings another baby into bed, right? ALSO: it IS possible to get pregnant, and go through the entire pregnancy while still nursing. i have heard it helps with sibling rivalry, if the older child knows that nursing wont be taken away just because of the baby. your other ones sound fine, this one is just different. im surprised you got through 4 kids without running across one that has higher needs than the others! LOL my son was a high need baby from day one, and hes the only one we've got (he just turned 3).
one thing i would recommend, if you havent already, go to www.llli.org. contact a local or nearby la leche league group. you will LOVE IT!! :) i had to drive an hour for mind, but it was SO WORTH IT! they will have awesome, reliable information, as well as real mom information there too! they usually meet only once a month, so its not a huge time commitment. :) its awesome.
but basically, just have patience. this baby is just trying to tell you that he needs you. theres nothing wrong with him, or you, just keep doing what you are doign. you dont have to make him cry, you dont have to make him sleep alone. my son didnt until he was a bit over 2 years old, we only moved him to his own room just before he turned 3. the best thing is that he trusts us completely to come get him if he has a need at night, whether hes just scared or needs a drink. so much peace! he also goes to bed really well, no struggles or fights (until recently, hes teething some molars, and finally having some kinds of resisting mom and dad thing going on! LOL)
but anyway, you wont regret taking the time. ;)
My little guy was 18 months when we quit too. The night-time was also the last to go for us because we co-slept as well. My problem was that I knew he wasn't getting much IF ANY milk anymore and was just doing it for comfort. And he was also waking 2 to 5 times a night! And we also were wanting to go for #3.
So, on the first night of no more nursing I just told him at bedtime, No more nursing and gave him a teddy bear and water cup to snuggle with. He wimpered and tried to lift my shirt a couple times but I just held him close and said, no nurse just snuggle and gave him the bear. And each time after that I just said, snuggle and gave him a hug and the bear and cuddled with him. It only took about 3 nights and he was fine. We continued co-sleeping for another couple months. Then we moved the kids (yep, a almost 4 year old and almost 2 year old) to a mattress on our floor. My husband and myself moved into our own room after about 2 months of that.
I would stop the nursing first and then after he's comfortable with that, consider moving him into a room with one of his brothers. Whatever you decide, I would only make one change at a time.... (PS> I could never let our kids cry it out either......Goes against all my motherly instincts.)
PS: Addition after reading the next post: Our two kids (4 1/2 and 2 1/2 now) still come to us and crawl in our bed from time to time. When they need comfort, they can get it. We never let them start there but if they wake up in the middle of the night (maybe once a week or so), they know that they are welcome to come to us! They go to bed fine in their own beds and never ask to start in ours.
This has not interfered with our trying for another baby at all. Don't feel like you have to keep your kid away from you at night. Just figure out what works for YOUR family and do that.
First you need to move him out of your bed forever. While having him there is easier for you to nurse it has become a habit that is going to be hard to break. He is not really nursing but using you as a pacifer to help him get himself back to sleep. I would make sure that he has a large before bedtime snack, let him fall asleep and then put him in his own bed. Then when he wakes up.. no nursing.. codding walking and everything is okay but no nursing. Yes it is going to be a rough few nights. I would also suggest that since you are trying for another one that you really consider not letting any infant sleep in your bed.
I nursed my daughter until she was almost 3 yrs old. Of course, toward the end, she was only nursing at night. Then I went away for a vacation for almost a week. When I got back home and my daughter tried to nurse, she said it tasted funny and she asked for something else to drink. I don't know if the taste actually changed, or if she just remembered it different. Every time she tried to nurse after that, I reminded her that it tasted funny, and she decided she wanted something else. It was an extremely painless way to stop nursing. So, even though your baby's younger, I'm thinking maybe you could try putting something on your breasts with a funny taste... Ask your doctor what he/she would suggest.
