Help, I'm Already Having Thanksgiving Anxiety!

This won't help for this year, but if you're miserable with spending time with the family, don't do it. The Holidays are a particularly stressful and miserable time for many people. They're stressed about spending money for the Holidays, etc. We see our families all year 'round and things are great, but at the Holidays, things can get a bit rocky, particularly at Thanksgiving. We've been much happier to do a quiet Thanksgiving at home and limit our visits to a short one at Christmas and short visits throughout the year. My MIL (whom I love) always says that house guests are like fish...they go bad in 3 days. Best Wishes for a successful visit this time around!

Wow G., this sounds exactly like my brother in law. He is 10 years older than me , and always made negative comments especially about my weight . I have been pregnant 4 times over the past 35 years of our marriage, so I do have a bit extra added on, but do not want to be reminded of it before dinner!
As much as it hurts I came to realize my BIL simply has no social skills and I did learn to ignor it and NOT bring it up. I have always been nice to him, and I think by example, he is now nice to me. By being the better person, you will not only set an example to him but to your children as the years go by. Like I said , with 35 yrs of marriage under my belt, I am so glad we are still all "friends" no matter what has been said in the past. You're going to be a family for many many years, so be the better person, and in the end it will pay off. And just try to not be in the same room as he is while you're feeling emotional !!!! : )
Good luck, love B.

All I can say is good luck!! I know with my X....the nicer I was to him; and he was a real jerk sometimes; the madder he'd get!!! People like that suffer from a very low self esteen, and think that putting someone down will make them look better.....they're wrong!! Try to have a picture in your mind of him looking like an idiot doing something...., while you're doing your best to be nice; tell him you like his shoes or something!!!!! Then stay away from him as much as you can!!!!

I never understand why people have to be such jerks. That said, I hope you find the patience to get through the weekend. Remember to focus on your kids and the baby inside your belly and try not to get upset since you already know how this guy behaves. Four days is a long time. Definitely make time to be alone resting or go out to take a walk.

The best thing you can do is call him on it, just like the other women say. I would ask, "Is there a reason why you're always so negative towards me?" If he denies it, then just let him know that you don't agree. Then remind him that you're pregnant and don't need to be stressed out. Don't drag out the conversation. Walk away at that point. If that doesn't make him step back and cool it, then he is just an idiot. I would be prepared to have your husband step in and say something.

You never know, he could surprise you and not be rude this year. Sometimes you go in preparing for the worst and it turns out to be ok. Try not to think about it too much.

Good luck and enjoy the holiday!

You need to be blunt. He says these things because you've never stood up for yourself...If he can't keep his rude comments to himself then he deserves whatever response you give him. Being pregnant as well doesn't help! At least with the hormones you are less inhibited and able to speak your mind...I know my preggy hormones right now make me more gutsy!!! Good luck.

Maybe try getting as much alone time as you can in the mornings or throughout the day and keep reminding yourself that it is only for a few days. Congratulations on your pregnancy as well. Try to give people things to do to keep them all busy. Maybe try making the bigmouth SIL's hubby run lots of errands and keep him out of your hair.
Holidays should be a wonderful time but are sometimes the hardest times of all. I will whisper a little prayer for you next week!
I wish you success with your family visit!

Hi G. I can understand how you feel. People like your in-laws think that they can said and do anything to you. But this is your house that they will be staying. So what ever on you mind when someone says something you don't like in your house, tell them the first thing that come to your mind. Because the first time someone says or do something to you, it's their fault. the second time it's yours for letting it to continue to happen!!! So don't be concern about hurting their feeling just let them have it.

Hi G.!

God help you if they are staying for 4 days...Thank God my IL's (Hubby's side)are close so they can leave when the festivity is over! Anyway, to deal with BIL's which I am an expert on, if they are teasing...hit him back with a come back, but make sure your voice is in a joking way. (You don't want to be purceived as bitchy.) Plus, give them an elbow lightly (not too hard) to let them know you are joking. Sometimes, they are surprised and give you a high five! If he does...mission accomplished! I know it's hard to be cheery in your condition especially if you are hosting the party. Don't get stressed...if he bothers you too much..just be nice and ingore the behavior. (Warning...high five's with BIL's may cause sister or SIL's to become jealous)