Help- (I Need somebody...Help- Not Just Anybody)

My son at age 7 was very serious when he asked me the following:

My son: Mom, you know when Noah built the Ark?
Me: Yes.
My son: Well, you know how it rained and rained and rained?
Me: Yes.
My son: Were you scared?

The other night my 3 year old was playing in the living room with my husband while I was trying to put the baby down. I asked them to quiet down a liitle and he looked at me and asked "Why don't you like Daddy's nuts?" WHAT?

After calming down the laughter, we found out that his preschool teacher calls them "nuts" when they get too loud. Thankfully, we didn;t have company!

My five year old niece called. I hear her mom in the background.
"Tell Aunt Jenny what you did."
Five year old, "I walked into a wall."
Me: "You did? Why?"
Her: "Because I was staring at a boy."
Her mom: "It's a dark day in the Smith household."

Still makes me laugh. My daughters name is Raven, my niece insisted that her name was Raisin. So for the first year of her life her was baby Raisin.

When I was younger, so much younger than to-da-a-ay....

Ooops sorry....

My kids asked me what "level" was after Heaven. How's that?

When I told him that "two wrongs don't make a right" he responded, "Maybe so, but it MIGHT make a POINT!"

My daughter, age 5, asked me if I liked playing with wooden dolls when I was little since they didn't have real dolls. I said, how old do you think I am? I called my mom to tell her I have officially been called old by my child at the ripe old age of 32. And not just old, ancient...wooden dolls.

So the other night my SIL and her mom & grandma were helping her twin girls get ready for their 6th grade dance...the music was on, and there was A LOT of LOUD girl talk. Her kindergartener was the only boy in the room! So out of the blue he stands on the bed & sings, "I'm on the highway to hell!" Guess he felt a little left out!! LOL

I had to remove a toy from my 3 year old son, because hw was trying to intentionally break it. Well, of course he started crying and throwing a fit....I said, "Why are you crying?" He said "You hurt my feelings!" I said - "Well, it is too bad your feelings are hurt, but that is not what i was trying to do, I was taking that toy so you wouldn't break it." - He goes on and on crying, I decide to ignore it so he will stop without an audience. 5 year old big sister comes by, and asks why he is crying, he says "Mommy hurt my feeeeeeelings!" She says very matter of factly, "That's ok Will, its Mommy's job to hurt people's feelings."

Nice.

I have one. My little boy just lost his 1st tooth. After 3 days, he still had not put his tooth under the pillow. I asked him why and he said he didnt want it to get taken. I said - "not even for $1?" he said "no. I want $5.78" lol what?

Its was a couple weeks ago, but her goes! I was laying in bed one evening with my feet up (6 months pregnant working FT) reading on my kindle. My 5 year old brings in a book and asks me to read to him. I of course love the idea, so he lays the book on my belly, and proceeds to climb into bed with me. In the process, the book hits the floor. His response, "Well since Lainey is a Schmedding, that means she's ornery, so I think she kicked the book off your belly. Silly baby!" He then got down, picked the book up, and carried it with him onto the bed so his little sister wouldn't have the chance to kick it off again. He absolutely refused to believe it may have just been him shaking the bed as he climbed on, it had to be his unborn sister giving him a hard time!

I fell on my butt yeterday.
Son says: Mom do you want me to kiss it?
Me: No, son that is okay.

Later in day, I door banged on my forearm.
Me: Ow, son, I hurt my arm. Can I get a kiss to make it feel better?
Son: No way, gross.

What?

Google comedy u-tube for a quick laugh.

Sorry! That has happened to me so many times!

If it helps, 2 days ago, I told my 4 year old that she couldn't have some chips, to which she replies, "Fine, I'm just gonna be evil forever and be a bad guy!" :)

Took my kids and our friends daughter to the zoo (two 1st graders and a four year old)...here's the conversation S= my daughter and R= friend

S= Mom I hurt my butt when I fell
Me= what would like me to do?
S = I don't make it feel better
(she is crying I seriously didn't know what to do as she was walking)
Me to R = she can be such a drama queen, are you a drama queen?
R=No, I'm just high maintenance!

Why did the spider spin a web?

Because she didn't know how to knit.

(it's funnier when a first grader tells it:)

Oooh, I hate when that happens too!
So far, the kid singing that he was on the highway to hell totally cracked me up.

My two and three year old ran out of my MIL house to go play in the front yard. I ran after them and told them that they have to stay where an adult can see them. My oldest says "Okay mama" and both girls come inside. Not thirty minutes later I leave with my MIL and my husband take the girls out to the front yard. My oldest runs directly for the road to play with the older children. My husband tell her to get away from the road to which my three year old replies "You can see me right, You CAN see me?" Dad says yes, and she says "Okay then Im okay!" Hope your day goes better :)

My son colored in his belly button green, and his sister drew a cross and a couple stars on his back. I hope that helps!

Oh, it hurts so bad when that happens. I have to just walk away from the computer.

The funny thing that I'm enjoying right now is my little one "tickling" us. He presses one or two fingers into our flesh and looks up for the reaction. Sometimes I don't realize that I'm being tickled, so I have to really put on a show once I figure it out.

Oh, the other day I took out the camera, and he hammed it up with poses and squinting his eyes and sticking his tongue out.

He's got a little postal carrier that he pushes around. When he was "in the way" (closing the drier door while I was removing clothes), I gave him a pair of socks to "take to Daddy". I figured by the time he'd return I'd be done and ready for him to go ahead and close the door. He tossed the socks into his carrier and pushed them on in there to Daddy.

We keep a golf club in his stroller for outside walks. He pushes his carrier with one of his toddler-sized golf clubs sticking up out of it.

Yesterday my granddaughter was playing office. She had on her "business suit" and her "glasses" and "heels." So cute!

I'm not sure what business she was conducting but she came to me for a "meeting" and asked me if I had any concerns about where my husband was. I said no. She asked me "Well, do you know where your husband is?" I said yes, in the bedroom watching TV. She said "okay"

It just cracked me up because where did she come up with that? What has she been watching on TV? Why would she ask if I had any concerns about where my hubby is? It was just too funny!

ugh i remember the first time that happened to me. it was a history paper. typed all nice and neat. then hand written. still made a good grade but SITLL.

some times things happen for a reason. perhaps its not what Susy Q needed to hear or she might have been burned out on answers. who knows but it always makes me feel better when something aggrivating like that happens. sorry teach for my horrid spelling :D

Back in the day (this was the early 80's) I was in college taking a programming class.
We used PUNCH CARDS, people.
You could write some beautiful programs using punch cards.
BUT, I've seen grown men cry when they placed the deck of cards (sometimes hundreds of cards) on top of their car, forgot about it, and then drove away, only to have them blow all over creation.
That was a WHOLE lot of punch cards to re-create.

My daughter wants to now where her poma is because she cannot find it. Takes a few minutes but figure out she means her diploma from finishing preschool last week.

I thought she meant Puma--as in shoes or maybe a stuffed animal.

We were playing with our DD 2.5 and asking her if she wanted things. We were trading noses, lips, eyes, etc...and laughing a lot. She was having a blast, and then Daddy said "here do you want a hiccup?" completely deadpan she answers "No THANK YOU". I don't want anymore hiccups. Ever. Not ever Daddy. I got your nose now. and You're the mommy.