Hi A.,
My name is A.. I am a stay at home mom of three. I have a thirteen year old, a two year old, and a three year old. My oldest used to do the same thing. Homework would last forever, when it should have only took just a short period of time. We also have activities after school and stay quite busy and like you say it's like a zoo at times, but we love it and wouldn't trade our life for the world!!!!!! Our rule also was homework straight after school but I soon realized a short break was needed because after a long day of being at school she needed it because she was reaching meltdown points.
So what I did is came up with a schedule from Monday to Friday (I know it sounds horrible coming up with a schedule but she functions better when she knows exactly what to do when), and this helped so much. It took her about a week to get used to it, but after that we have had smooth sailing since, NO MORE ISSUES ABOUT HOMEWORK!!!!
She actually commented that the schedule helps keep her on track.
Example:
She gets home at 3:00
From 3-4 Break (Snacks, T.V., outside playing, reading, etc. whatever she chooses) But the rule is she has to be responsible enough at 4 to stop what she is doing and begin homework.
4-5 Homework (if for some reason homework is not done then she continues till supper, then stops, eats supper, and picks up where she left off after supper
5:30 Supper (if any studying needs to be done she studies in between supper and bathtime)
6:30 Chores (she has simple chores to do during the week that doesn't take long and can be done quickly,
Ex. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday dishes
Tueday vacuum
and Monday thru Friday keep her bathroom clean
7:30-8 Bathtime
8-9 Study if necessary, and mom comes in to study with her, she likes this because it allows me and her time. If no studying is necessary then we either have time for momma and me time or family time, or if she wants to watch t.v., etc. She loves to play board games, so we sometimes do this.
9:00 Bedtime
*** On days that she has extra-curricular activities that is considered her breaktime, and she understands that. And I reminded her at the beginning while she was getting used to her schedule that if she wants to be in activities she needs to be responsible enough to handle schoolwork along with it. Of course on the extra-curricular days your times may have to be adjusted a little but I'm telling you sitting down and figuring out a schedule for Monday-Friday was the best thing I ever did and I plan to do the same thing when my little ones get older.
At first I felt mean about having to plan out a schedule because when I was younger it was just understand when you did what, but now-a-days it's different. I spoke with my husband about the schedule and he agreed that it was a good idea, and I sat down with my daughter and explained to her that how we had been doing our days just wasn't working because she wasn't pacing herself like she needed to and she needed to learn how to pace herself to function in everyday life. So we talked about the schedule together and I told her I would come up with a rough draft and then we would go over it together.(I included her and she loved it) She felt like she was part of making the schedule. We discussed chores that could easily be done as well and I explained to her that each one of us plays a part in making our family complete and making our days go smooth. And that she was getting older and it was time for her to start being a little more responsible and homework was just dragging out. I also let her know that if she had tons of homework, that I did not want her to rush through just to get it done in time.
Rushing through to get her homework done in time has never been an issue. The schedule allows plenty enough time.
Hope this helps. It's just an idea I came up with and it worked for us. Remember if you try it, give it time. It takes a little while for them to get adjusted. And during the first week, remind him about the schedule times, what he should be doing, etc.
*Bathtime was another issue. She would never go when she was suppose to, and she would go late interfering with me putting my little ones down for the night. Now it's not an issue with the schedule and she knows if she goes late, not on schedule she loses a half hour of t.v. the following day. (She makes sure to go on time because she LOVES t.v.
Sincerely,
A.