Help!! I Need a Good Book for the "Talk".

I don't have a suggestion of a book but I have to say that I disagree with Kelly V's opinion of being too young and trying to keep him innocent. If you don't tell him and try to keep your son in the dark about issues like this he is going to likely learn from his peers and learn the wrong information at that. Let's face it-kids are starting earlier now. Yes, 8 is very early and it may not happen for awhile, but I can guarantee you it will happen and he will have the wrong picture if you don't explain it to him the right way first.

I would suggest asking him what questions he has on the subject that way you aren't going into anymore detail than he even has curiosity on. Chances are at 8 he won't have many questions other than the typical "where do babies come from" and "how do they get there".

Good Luck!!

L.
I wouldn't worry about having a talk with him just yet. He's only 8. A little hand holding and having a "girlfriend" at that age is not anything that will lead to him requiring a knowledge of sex on any level. It's just innocent. You might even ask him what "having a girlfriend" means. You may be surprised at his answer. Kids at that age usually really don't understand. I think you handled it perfect by saying the only hand you can hold is mommy's. I would also just tell him that he's too young to have a girlfriend and that is something for older people. Let him know tha she can just be his "friend". Our society wants to inform and sexualize our children at such a young age. You have an opportunity to protect him from that mind set and allow him to be innocent longer. I have a very bright and inquisitive little girl. When she asks me questions about "How does a mommy cat get pregnant?" or anything that is (in my opinion) out of her realm of innocence, I simply tell her "You'll learn that when you are older". Case closed. Just because they are curious does not mean that need answers to big questions just yet. I think he's much too young to have any discussions. Help him cling to his innocence. They grow up way too fast.

Blessings,
K.

My mom read me a cartoon book called where do babies come from. I don't remember how old I was. She said we read it after I asked, she didn't offer. My 1/2 sister learned in school when she was 6. She had sex when she was 12, I don't think it was her idea. A good amount of her friends all had babies way to early, mid to late teens. My sister held out and had a baby at 20. All unmarried. I thought this was surprising as this all happened in an affluent community. My 5yo daughter talks about wanting a baby (we've been trying for another, so thats part of it). But she said she could have one at 16. I told her she had to be at least 24, and married. And to please go to college first. Other than that all she knows is babies come from mamas bellies. I'm planning on talking about respecting her body. That it's not just a game to feel good. And talk about the responsibility of raising a baby. And how to keep her body healthy.
Good luck!!! A. H

I do not know what your faith is, but we are Christians and I wanted our kids to have "the talk" with our christian values so here are the books we use (they are excellent!):

How to talk to your kids Confidently about sex--By: Lenore Buth

How You Are Changing--By:Jane Graver

What's the Big Deal--Why GOD cares about sex-By: Stan and Brenna Jones

And Yes, do talk to them now. I talked to both my kids at that age. Studies show the earlier you talk and the more open you are the less likely your kids will have sex early!!!

I know that this may sound awful...but we have a book that we are selling on EBay that deals with this issue, in a Great way, that is not to crazy, but in terms that make it easier for parents to discuss this issue without all the "uncomfortableness" It is called "The Wonderful Way That Babies Are Made" and it is by Larry Christenson. We are selling it with another book as well, BUT they are on sale right now. Ha Ha!! Here is the link if you want to check it out:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&am...

I wouldn't normally do that (advertise our EBay items), but this particular subject, we have a Great book on.

B.

My friend suggested the book, "How to talk to your Kids about Sex" by Linda and Richard Eyre. It was *fantastic*. They also have a website called 'Values Parenting' and there is a summary of the book on the website. They have very good ideas and give you kind of a script to work with so that you have the words in your mouth as you discuss sex with your child. It suggests that 8 years old is a good time to introduce the subject, but it also talks about 'pre-sex' talks when they are younger, and stresses the importance of having many more 'talks' after that BIG one. I had a great experience talking to my oldest last year about this, and will do the same with each of my younger kids. Here's a link to the website's summary. . . good luck!
http://valuesparenting.com/talktokids.php

Dr. James Dobson has a series of books for the talk that are appropriate for girls & boys. The books are broken down into age groups for you. My daughter and I have looked over these books a few times and when she starts to get a bit overwhelmed - we stop and when she is ready we will continue in the same book (she is 12 and VERY sensitive). I believe the first book is for 5 - 8 yr olds and pretty generic, but should work with your son for a begining.

Good Luck,

K.

I would agree with some of the posts to just ask him questions first before you introduce a book. This "talk" should be an ongoing process that ultimately makes you the person he comes to with questions as they naturally develop. You don't want to give him more info than he needs right now, but you don't want to leave him in the dark about something he's been misinformed on or is currently wondering about. I think you're totally right to encourage him that holding hands at this age is for him to do wtih moms and grown ups for safety and what not...I'm so saddened by how young our youth are being exposed to dating and sexuality.

Good Luck!!!

L.,

My son is six and about 4 months ago asked where babies come from. A little girl in his class just became a big sister and she said that the baby came out of her mommy's belly button. He wanted to know if this was true.

I went onto Wikipedia and looked up the human reproductive system. I just went over the basics that boys and girls are different, where the baby grows, and how it comes out. I did not get into how the baby got there in the first place, but did ask him if he had any other questions.

After seeing the very basic pictures his current curiosity was satisfied. I got this trick from my brother who has raised his very curious step-daughter into a wonderful adult, it seemed to work with her, and it can't hurt with my son.

Good luck with the talk. I wouldn't be too concerned. He is only eight after all and if he isn't watching any of the Disney tv shows that are very sexually charged, then I would think he will be fine. He probably just wants to be like you and your husband, but doesn't understand the complexity of your relationship.

My son right now says that he is going to marry his best friend Maddy, and they will live with us when they get married and Maddy will have a baby and he will be the daddy. He really wants to be like his father and doesn't understand the full concept of being a parent. He just sees us married and knows that he wants something like what we have; a best friend who loves him and wants to spend a lot of time with him and be a family.

Good luck.

It always goes faster than we're ready for, eh?

My favourite author on the subject is Meg Hickling... she wrote Speaking of Sex, and More Speaking of Sex, about *how* to talk to kids about the subject. She makes a number of book recommendations, but I think her approach to talking about it is excellent. She approaches it from a very pragmatic 'scientist' approach, because that's really all young children want to know, anyhow. For them (the kids) there isn't all the imbedded meaning and the hormones that make it hard to think straight. It's just all cool body science.

We used the library a lot -- for much more than just this -- which meant we'd bring home a lot of books, some for the kids to look at (or not) on their own, and some to read together. I read all of them, generally (until they were a lot older), but they also read some on their own. They were embarrassed by the topic (my second much moreso than my first), so letting them find the facts without having to make eye contact really helped. They could absorb the information at their own rate, re-read a book 12 times if they were having difficulty or really liked it, without having to keep asking questions that made their faces red.