Help!!! I Have a 7 Month Old Who Has NEVER Slept More than 4 Hour Stretches!!!

The problem with letting a child cry is that cognitively until the age of about 3 a child doesn't understand where you went. They cannot see you in their mind unless you are directly in front of them. Leaving them to cry means that you are abandoning them. This leads to psychological trauma that can haunt a child into adulthood.

Sleep when the baby sleeps if you can J. ~ this will help you to cope. He will, soon enough, start sleeping longer. You cannot force a baby to stay asleep.

I really found the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth very helpful. He offers several choices for solutions, so you aren't stuck with just one way of doing/trying things. Several of my friends and acquaintances have found the book helpful as well. And, I DID use the cry it out solution, which worked great for us, and my child is just fine. Hope you find a solution that works for you, and you get some longer stretches of sleep soon!

You poor thing! You certainly sound like you need a full nights sleep! I would keep introducing those solids. Try to get him nice and full before bed. Maybe even try giving him a formula bottle with a little cereal in it at bedtime. Good luck!!!!

first of all, you need to know that this is normal for babies, and it may still be a while before he can sleep through the night. you can do the "cry it out" method, but there are some important questions to ask about that method. what is "IT"? and where is "OUT"?

crying is the ONLY form of communication for a baby. and until they have a better grasp of communication, it will be very very common in other situations as well. sometimes even if they know how to say a word, they might not be able to think of it, you know?

www.askdrsears.com is an excellent resource. theres nothing wrong with not wanting to cosleep, however, if its comfortable for you you can set up a side sleeper bed, that way you have your own space, but hes right there, you dont have to get up to get to him, and you can put him right back in it when hes done nursing.

i want to congratulate you on not forcing solids! awesome job! you are obviously really good at reading your son's cues and when hes ready he will eat with all the excitement he should! however, there is no nutritional need for solids of any kind until after one year of age. so dont worry about the solids, you cant force it, and if you do, you might have other issues besides just the sleeping!

people will try to tell you he needs solids to sleep better, but really it doesnt work, no one can sleep on a full stomach. thats just an old wives tale, and it can cause more problems than it will solve... and you need to just keep listening to your instincts! excellent job mom!!!

now, since i am so anti-cry it out, this may sound judgemental, but its not supposed to be. i just want you to look at it another way... ok here goes.

like i said before, babies only way to communicate is through crying. think about it from a personal perspective; if you were talking and talking or really trying to get someone's attention, and you were just constantly ignored.... what would you do? first of all, it would probably make you more mad, and you would probably try talking or yelling louder. but after a while, you would probably just give up. and the next time you tried talking to that person, you wouldnt have the energy to do it for very long because you know you are just being ignored.

now place that situation into the cry it out method. baby is crying it out. and at first, they cry more and they cry louder. the longer they cry, the more 'urgent' the cry sounds, until it almost drives a parent away instead of to the baby. this is the beginning of the parent losing the sensitivity toward the cry. after a while, yes, baby stops crying. but its not because they have learned to comfort themselves, or because they have learned to get to sleep alone. it is because they have no hope of anyone responding the way they need.

my best and greatest advice to you is to follow your heart. in a few months (my son started at 10 months) you will notice the cry isnt as urgent and infant like, and you can take your time responding, and help them to learn a little bit that they can sometimes deal on their own. however, infants up to a year old - they dont know the difference between a need and a want. all things are needs to them, and the better you respond to that, the easier it will be later.

my story is a very good example. my son was NEVER left to cry it out... and sleep time is not a scary time for him. can you imagine what the connection between all that crying and sleep time does to the sleep habits? my son is 21 months old and i can put him down in his bed at nap and bed time and there is no tantrum, no fuss, no crying... he just goes to sleep. he has a coupel small books in his crib, and a sippy cup, so he sometimes looks at the books, but he never cries to be let out.

my friend did the cry it out method early, as early as 1 month old for her daughter. i dont know for sure on her older son, but im sure it wasnt much different. they do not sleep well. no naps usually, because they are so scared of it, if she does put them down, they scream and cry for over an hour. they are now 2 and 5. the 5 yr old doesnt cry at rest time, but he yells and screams and hollers. her 2 year old cries and screams and throws things. ... her son was crawling out of the crib at 8 months old. my son has never crawled out of the crib.

i dont want to make you feel like you have to not ever leave your baby alone, and like i said, i dont want to make you feel like im judging you. you do what you feel you have to do at the time... or whatever advice seems easiest and works best for you. my advice isnt given to make you feel guilty, nor is it given to make you do things a certain way.

ONLY YOU have the instincts for your specific child. you and your husband are the only ones who know your specific child, and his needs. NO ONE ELSE has permission to make you do things that go against the instincts that you have. so, if you feel your baby is fine with whatever method you choose, thats fine! as long as it doesnt make your heart break, you can be sure you are doing whats best for your child. trust me, they will go to sleep in their own bed, and their own room. its not forever. my son finally consistently slept in his own crib between 15-16 months old. it may have seemed like forever while we were dealing with it, but i wouldnt have done it another way... he sleeps so peacefully and nicely now... i cant imagine having the kids my friend has. i would be so ... exhausted!

anyway, good luck. sleep is so controversial, especially when the wide majority of people think that crying it out is healthy and good for babies, when its really not... but, like i said, only you know your child. you do what your instincts tell you to do!

I don't know that I have any helpful suggestions with a 9 month old myself who doesn't sleep. What I have read so far disturbs me... The "Crying it out" method is an old wives tale that started in this century. Prior to that, people met their babies needs when necessary. In hundreds of countries around the world (especially tribal) mothers still meet their babies needs. I too became desperate and resorted to this method for two weeks. It was horrible and a horrible thing to do with my daughter. One responder stated that the baby doesn't understand where you go and does not have the capacity to think that mom isn't here because it is night time and she is very right. This is a critical time for attachment and your child needs to know that when she cries, her basic needs will be met. Not that you have to jump at the tiniest whimper or anything like that. Sure, let her cray a minute or so but if she is like mine and escalates quickly...she won't be able to calm herself down and then it is even less sleep. I do not believe in co-sleeping and am very aware of the dangers of suffocation. But let me tell you, sometimes I am so tired I cave...and she sleeps through the night. So I like the suggestion of the bed that goes right next to yours. Safe place for baby but still right next to you.

How frustrating for you. I was at this point a few months ago where I was feeling so helpless. This week, she has started only getting up at 2am. I really hope this lasts!!! Hugs to you. It is tough going through this...especially when you have relatives that say...just let them cry. Not helpful at all. Take care of you!

Neither one of my kids were good sleepers so I can empathize. I couldn't really let them cry it out because they got so agitated they would throw up. They have temperaments that made it difficult for them to settle down and "crying it out" made it worse. I think it depends on the individual baby. Check out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." She also has a website--www.parentchildhelp.com. She is local and is a great resource. Good luck.

Try a side car. They are available at JCPenney catalog and I am sure other baby places. This would solve not co-sleeping but keeping him close so that you can just grab baby, nurse and put him back without having to rouse yourself much.

Read what Dr. Sears has to say. He has never failed me. Read his Night Time Parenting. It was tough going for us too! Keep nursing! This too will pass. Hang in there!

J.

Hi J.,

I went through a long time when my baby would wake 5-10 times at night. The sleep deprivation can be horrible. The first time I slept for 8 hours straight was when she was 2. (I'm not a stay at home mom either-I was a zombie at work for a long time) Now my daughter is 4, she sleeps through the night for about 11 hours. Of course, sickness, nightmares and missing the toilet in the middle of the night still happen, but it's nothing like it was at 7-9 months. From 9 monnths on it very gradually and slowly got easier. Kind of like most things with kids:)

All children are different. My husband was exactly the same. His mom let him cry it out and he still was a restless sleeper. I don't know if I believe there is one good solution.

I'm not going to tell you what to do as that is up to you, but I will tell you that EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY CHANGES. If you can remember that, you'll know that whatever you choose to do regarding sleep in the short run, will not have as significant an impact as you fear. I did end up co-sleeping, with dear husband sleeping on the couch (we have an awesome couch) as it helped us ALL sleep and I didn't let her cry it out. I was told what I was doing would give her bad habits. Completely untrue. I'm NOT saying this is what you should do - I'm saying find the best thing that works NOW and don't worry about a year or two down the road. Babies and toddlers sleep cycles change a lot while they grow - and they'll have different needs depending on their unique development.

However, I would suggest talking to more than one doctor about the reflux. Our pediatrician says it's often overprescribed for babies who are simply colicky/poor sleepers.

I know you don't have time, but if you looked at all the posts on here - how many say "my baby won't sleep, wakes up, I'm exhausted..." Just know you are NOT alone and it gets better. I loved watching late 40 early 50 year old women whose kids are older - they all look so refreshed. Gave me hope.

GOOD LUCK.

Dear J.,

First of all, don't forget that this time will come to an end! My nursing daughter did not sleep through the night until around 10 1/2 months. I tried everything every couple of months except switching to formula (I have heard this works sometimes.) I tried crying it out, but it didn't work.

I would suggest putting his crib or pack 'n play right next to your bed. That way, you can at least lift him in and out without having to get out of bed and walk around yourself. Maybe he will go right back to sleep after nursing. This would increase your sleeping, especially if you fall back to sleep briefly while he is nursing.

Hope this helps!

HI,
With my child at this age I made sure I had a schedule, it was flexible but I tried to adhere to it as I could. I started his day at the same time each day (within 1/2 hour of the designated time). So, if he was asleep, I woke him up. I didn't let his daytime naps go too long (example, not longer than 2 hours), then I woke him him, but I made sure he got them, as the quality of daytime sleep determines nighttime sleep. He nursed/ate at approx the same time each day and I didn't nurse him to sleep, hard to do I know!!! When I started "sleep training" him, I began with a daytime nap where I got him to the point where he was drowsy but awake and laid him down. He did cry and it IS heart wrenching. If I needed to I would go in and pat him and reassure him but I didn't pick him up and he stayed in there for the duration of a nap. This process does take several days...so you have to kind of clear your schedule. I also kept him on a eat, stay awake, sleep ...eat, stay awake, sleep cycle during the day , so I didn't feed him and let him immediately fall asleep during the day...he'd eat, then stayed awake and was active and then I'd put him down after a deterimined amount of time or when he appeared sleey. If you do an evening nursing where you wake him up, that is the only time that I'd let him eat and fall right back to sleep (I used to wake my son before I went to bed to get in the last feeding and that was the only time I'd put him right back down).
Not sure if this helps or makes sense. I used the Babywise book and my son slept through the night by 12 weeks, it just seemed to work for him .Good luck, don't give up!!!

Hi J.,
Like one mom said, you have to figure out what you believe is best for your baby in your heart first... with that, I resorted to the cry it out method (insisted upon by my mom) when my daughter stopped sleeping through the night at 4 months. She was well nursed and didn't need food (it seems yours doesn't either), just wanted to suckle. Let me tell you it will be heart-wrenching for the first week! the first night she wailed for over an hour, the next night about an hour, then a little less than an hour. The crying time got shorter and shorter until after a few nights it was little more than a complaint for a few minutes. She is 7mos now, sleeps like a champ and wakes up very happy - but it took a whole week, and in your case (since he is older) it might take longer. She "talks" to us a lot during the day and does not have attachment issues. I can also say from personal experience that I have always been very close and love my mother very much even though she used this method on me at 6mos (she said I was an absolute terror for hours on end a week straight). So, put him down, do something to take your mind and ears off the crying, and ride it out for a week. Like I said it will be TOUGH, but it worked for me.
Good Luck on whatever you decide to do!

My first thought is that he doesn't have acid reflux, he is milk protein sensitive. I have a now 3 year old who was milk protein sensitive until she was about 16 months old. The doc jumped right to acid reflux and put her on that NASTY medicine, but nothing would console her when she had tummy aches, except more nursing or eating (gas drops had immediate, but not long lasting, results). You can imagine that nursing to cure an upset tummy/gas, while natural, is a vicious circle because it does stop the gas for a little while, and then the tummy ache would come back because she had just ingested more milk protein. Thank God I had a good friend whose kids both had it and she didn't give up on me and she kept encouraging me to try giving up every form of dairy in my diet. When I finally caved and really did it (it isn't an easy thing to do if you like dairy or eat processed foods!) my daugther was a new kid. This is NOT lactose intolerance. There is more lactose in breast milk than there is in cow's milk, so it is almost impossible for babies to be lactose intolerant (yet they make lactose free formula - go figure!). This is a sensitivity (or allergy) to casein, the protein in milk (and whey and all other things that say anything related to milk that are in things like cereal and bread, etc). That protein is one of the hardest things for our bodies to break down, and we pass it to our babies in our breast milk (but our bodies don't break it down for them first). We get better at digesting it over time but I am absolutely convinced every child who has "croup" actually is just having trouble breaking down the milk proteins in whatever he or she is drinking. And now, all doctors seem to immediately prescribe zantac for anything gas or tummy related. (That really bugs me!)

If he is having cyclical tummy pain (and if he weren't, they probably wouldn't have suggested Zantac) and you can get that under control, you might get him to eat some solids (mixed with water or your then dairy free breast milk!) and the combination might help him sleep peacefully through the night, or maybe just get up once. He could very well be HUNGRY but his tummy hurts so he doesn't want to eat. (Let me add that my daughter was happy as a clam in between bouts with the gas. The bouts lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to several hours.)

If you want to do this feel free to email me and I can give you some advice on how to change your diet (or type milk protein or milk protein sensitivity into google and you will get a lot of info). You can check with your doctor but mine knew absolutely NOTHING about this. I was educating her and she was resisting. "Studies say" this is relatively uncommon, but when I hear moms and their poor babies who are going though the exact symptoms we went through and not getting any relief, I know in my heart this isn't so uncommon. Plus I don't know what test they could do to prove it. It is more experiencial than anything else. And, I might add, after a year of being off all dairy myself (and I craved it every day!), I had a really hard time when I put it back in my diet. I was miserable for the first few weeks of eating/drinking it again. That proved to me how hard it is to process but how our bodies just get used to it.

I am about to have my second child and I am going dairy free for 30 days from the moment we are in labor. In those 30 days I should be able to tell if he has any issues with nursing or other ailments. After 30 days I can slowly add back in dairy and see what his reaction is. The hardest part is narrowing it down when they can't talk to you and there are some many variables in their lives and ours. Oh, one more thing. Beef has the same protein as milk so some people I know have had to give up beef as well. I didn't have to do that, though we don't eat a ton of it anyways.

Some good subsitutes are rice milk, soy milk and soy products (though don't overdo the soy either because those can be tough to process also). Coconut milk and oil can be used for a fat. Chicken stock. Finding the products that taste good to replace what you are craving is trial and error, but you might not need to do it for that long (since he is already 7 months old). If you do it, stick to it for at least 3 weeks to get it all out of your system, and his. But if you are going to do it, you have to DO IT! Half cutting it out doesn't work. Good luck!

I just went through this. My son is 14 months and just started sleeping 10 hours at a time. For the last few months his max was 8 hours and before that it was 5 hours. What I did at your son's stage was to decide he wasn't going to be fed if he woke up before 3:00AM. So if he woke up before 3:00 I waited five minutes went in and told him night-night and laid him down. I waited 10 minutes to go in the next time and then subsequent times went in every 15 minutes. The first time it took an hour of crying and fussing and he woke up after sleeping just one more hour. By then it was after 3:00AM, so I fed him. After two nights he started sleeping until 4:00AM or 4:30. I would feed him and put him down then he would sleep until 7:00. Later he started sleeping until 5:30 or 6:00 and then would be up for the day after nursing. Last week he started waking up at 3:00 or 4:00 again. I had to do the process of crying it out two nights. Now he's sleeping from 8:30-6:30 uninterrupted. Yippee!!! I think you received some excellent suggestions about adding solids and checking on his medication. Doctors will also tell you that babies don't need to nurse at night after 6 months of age. If your baby is in the 90th percentile while nursing exclusively he can certainly go 8 hours at night without eating. My guy is skinny so I allowed the middle of the night feeding longer than I probably should have.

Your son needs to be eating some solids, ceral, fruits and vegetables. He is eating every 4 hours because he isn't getting enough to last through the night longer. It is probably why he is also in the 90% for his weight. It might help if you only let him nurse for a shorter time so he will be hungry when it is time to eat ceral. Start with morning feeding so if something does irratate his acid reflex, He will be awake and not laying down. Try proping the head of his mattress up also, to help if that is causing him to wake up.

Most babies do wake up during the night causing the lack of sleep in parents... it prepares them for the teen years when parents again never get any sleep.

Good luck.

Oh, I feel your pain! My kids are/were horrible sleepers, too. My first son didn't sleep through the night until 3 1/2. My second son is a much worse sleeper. We've tried crying it out, but they invariably cry longer than they sleep (#1 cried for 3+ hours to sleep at night for about 2...not worth it! and #2 cried for 1+ for naptime to snooze for 40 minutes--also not worth it!). I guess my point in writing is not to be of much help (sorry!) but to say there are others out there, and that if crying it out doesn't seem to work for you, maybe it just isn't right for your kids. We have tried it at any number of ages and developmental stages and it just makes everyone miserable. Good luck; I wish you rest!

A side effect of Zantac is insomnia. You might want to call your doctor and explain that he is having side effects to the medication and you need it switched.

Also...if you need to, get a night nanny to come in and help with him for a week or more so you can get some sleep.

Check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. It didn't work for one friend of mine, but it saved my sanity (at 5 months baby was waking up every hour all night long!).

The biggest part is working on the daytime naps. If you follow his nap advice, your son should start sleeping longer during the day, which will help him sleep better at night. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but it's true. A tired baby is too wound up to sleep well at night.

Good luck! (And you should know I did a little crying-it-out with both my kids and they both became really good sleepers.)

I can feel your exhaustion through your words! Fortunately I am through that stage, but I did go through it. I let my little ones cry it out(kind of). Our oldest daughter we tried crying out, but were not very good at it. She was out first, so we went to her, cuddled her, fed her, and made her feel "secure." She is now an almost 8 year old that has a really hard time going to sleep on her own. She also slept in a room connected to our room. She could hear us and see us, but was in her own crib and bed. My youngest daughter was in a room right off of our living room, so we needed to be very good about putting her to bed(nurse, book, kisses,hugs,lullabye,more kisses and hugs)and closing the door and letting her fall asleep on her own. When she was about 5 months old I was still getting up to nurse her at least 1x per night. I had my grandma staying with us so I went to her when she cried more than a few minutes. I was so tired! My grandma told me she never heard her, so not to get up on her account. I started letting her cry...she was sleeping through the night within 2 or 3 days. I think she usually cried about 20-40 minutes. She is now the most secure little girl and the best sleeper. We put her to bed, we read to her, then she reads her own book, then she either falls asleep before we come to turn out the light or she just says goodnight and usually falls asleep within 10 minutes.I know that every kid is different, but when I look at my 2 kiddos, my youngest is far more secure and confident, and we taught her good sleep habits right away. Do what you're comfortable with, but be consistent with whatever you do. He may need to just cry it out for that long and then know that the next time he wakes he needs to put himself back to sleep again. You'll be happy in the long run. Better to do it now rather then when he can get out of bed--that's a whole other thing! :-) God bless!

First make sure there is no medical issues for this behavior. If there is no reason other than needing help sleeping, then you need to do some serious sleep training. The sooner the better so you both can get some sleep. My daughter did this until 8 months and we were exhausted! I hear your pain. The first week can be really hard when you start sleep training (listening to them cry), but you just need to tough it out. You are right to be looking into this because you do not want this to continue.

I used a very good book (easy read) that I downloaded off the internet called Sleep Sense. The site is sleepsense.net

Best wishes,
K.

My baby did the same thing until 7-8 months of age. Apparently it is common in babies with reflux. Have you considered trying a different medication for the reflux? Zantac didn't work for my little guy, but prevacid did. I too tried letting him "cry it out" which worked with my other two kids, but this one can't settle down when he gets upset like that. (I don't think it's terrible that you tried it--7+ months is an awfully long time to be sleep deprived and you need some sleep) What does your pediatrician say about this? I'd check with him/her if you haven't already.

Also, how is he doing with solid foods? When my son really started eating solids he began sleeping through the night.

Good luck!
J.

Hi J.-
Don't feel guilty about the crying it out method... At 6 mons our daughter was waking every few hours and I would nurse her back to sleep... I was in a routine similar to yours and about to go crazy!! At our daughter's 6 mon check up, she too was in the 90% weight and our Ped. said "She doesn't need to nurse 2-3 a night.. She's a good weight, etc- she's using you as a human pacifier!!' And it was true!! As soon as she'd nurse, she'd be calm and fall asleep.... So that night, I put in my earplugs and let my husband deal with her! We used the paci- which she did attach to- and I believe my husband was able to deal with the crying better than me (he's a deep sleeper anyways!).... I don't remember exactly how long it took- just a few days, I think- but it did get better!! (she too was on zantek- but I now question it she really had reflux...)
on a side note- 2 books that really helped us were:
Happiest baby on the block by Harvey karp
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth (sp?)

Good luck!!!

I agree with Chris H on her advice to read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth... he bases his advice on thousands of children's sleep patterns he's studied.

My baby refused solids, and only took breastmilk like yours until 10 months, so I don't think he's waking due to hunger necessarily.

Weissbluth's book will tell you to let a baby cry for an unlimited time to go to sleep at night, and also that it's normal for babies to wake up in the middle of the night and WANT to nurse, but that it's generally not necessary and they need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep.

This book gave me the confidence (most of the time) to leave my baby alone when she just truly needs to sleep, even if it means listening to her cry for hours.

Good luck to you and your baby to get some good sleep!

Hi J.,

my heart goes out to you. My youngest is now 14 years old but when he was a baby he was very similar to your little guy. I remember the first few months with him felt like I lived in a cave!

What helped me then was knowing it was temporary. before you know it he'll be 14! The other thing that helped was knowing that adults can get by on short bursts of sleep. it's not as satisfying in some ways as a full night's sleep of course. But have patience with yourself and give yourself lots of rewards for being a great nurturer. eat your favorite fruits and other foods you like. maybe get a massage on a regular and rewarding basis.

When my son was a little over one year old we were apart for 2 nights and I thought I'd have to give up breastfeeding - but no. He was eager to continue. I also contacted someone through La Leche League who was a supportive resource [and listener].

I hope this helps a bit. You know your own limits. Personally I couldn't go for more than ten minutes of crying. It's just easier - and I could get back to sleep faster - to feed him. My son was so pudgy at 3 months I recall a relative laughing hysterically upon meeting him. To me he looked like my healthy baby, not ridiculously fat. He had great pudgy cheeks too.

If it helps for you to get out of the house, try the library. This is something I think back on and wish I'd used more often as a quiet retreat from parenting obligations.

Best wishes to you and your family.
K. C.
Certified Professional Co-active Coach
Revitalize Coaching
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I'm counting my blessings that my own daughter generally sleeps well through the night so I don't have my own experience to share, but I have a friend who was going through your situation. Does your son take a bottle? My friend would pump so that her husband could take a turn for one of the feedings a few nights a week and she could get a longer stretch of sleep. It's not a fix for the not sleeping in general, but may help you get a little break!

I have a 9 month old who we let co sleep with us and about 3 weeks ago started the Ferber Method (cry themselves to sleep). It is heart wrenching...but it really works. The first night he cried for 90 minutes. Almost straight. The 2nd night it went on for 30 minutes and the 3rd and 4th nights he wimpered a little and now he sleeps pretty good through the night on his own. We put him down now at 8 everynight and he doesn't even cry.

My suggestion would be to do what works for you. We followed by the Ferber method and so has my brother with his kids and they are great sleepers to this day.

It is rough on both you and the child for the first 3 days ( would suggest starting on a weekend). But it does get MUCH better. And it is better for both your baby and you. Let me know if you have any questions.

Hi J., you said that he is solely breastfed. By seven months he should be eating baby food every day at least some food. It sure sounds like he is hungry. Can you add rice cereal to your breastmilk - does he take a bottle? I think you really have to start pushing the food. Try anything and everything till you find something he'll take. Also, you said he is on Zantac for reflux. My daughter had change to Prilosic because Zantac was not sufficient for her reflux.

Just ideas. Good luck.

I see you have a lot of responses, but I'd thought I'd leave my 2 cents since I have 2 sons who did the same thing (almost). As long as you continue to breastfeed at night, your baby will wake up at night. It's a simple as that. (and please ignore the post advising you to wean your baby! at 7 months??) Crying it out is tough but every night it gets easier. This is what I did - first cut out the feeding - he doesn't need it, he just wants it. Go into his room right away and stay with him without picking him up. Just let him know you are there, that you care but you aren't going to pick him up. I would leave the room after a few minutes and come back to check on him every 10 min or so. After about an 1 1/2 hours the first night he was asleep, and the second night it was about half an hour. After about a week he would sleep through the night completely. The first couple nights are VERY hard but soon you will be getting sleep. Trust me. And do whatever it takes to get in some good solid food before bed, that may help.

My sister just did the cry-it-out with her son (2yrs old) and he screamed for 40 mins the first night, 20 the next, 10 the next, and hardly at all the next night. The next night after that, he went to bed without a fuss. I think that is probably the absolute best you could ever hope for.

When my son was a baby, he would scream and cry for 6 HOURS when I tried to let him cry it out. Needless to say, I didn't do this long. (We ended up co-sleeping). We also had him on Zantax for presumed GERD (reflux), though I was never sure if that was a factor or not. What it turned out to be with my son was lactose intolerance. We both suffered for 18 months because everyone (doctors included) told me it wasn't possible for a baby to be lactose intolerant. When we cut the dairy, his sleep habits improved immensely.

I would really recommend cutting all dairy from your own diet since you are breastfeeding. Try it for three weeks. At the two week mark you should see improvement, steady improvement from that point on, if lactose intolerance is the problem.

Much luck to you- I wish I had tried that earlier!!! We ended up stopping breastfeeding and going to soy and rice milk at 18 months.

I went through this for 1 year before I was done waking every 11/2 to 2 hours. Here's what I did and it worked well for us.

For 3 nights (you can do more), I did "dream feedings" 3 hours after I put my son done to sleep. (ok, he did sleep for 3 hours first thing at night). THis was also about when he would wake for the first time at night. After the dream feed, no more milk until 7am when it was time to get up. After 3 nights, no more milk at all after 7pm when he went to bed. I should say no water or food either, because then he would just wake up wanting those. I learned the hard way. Also once you decide to stop feeding at night don't give in - you have to start all over again. Sigh, again speaking from experience.

THe book I read had you staying in the room, sitting next to your child in bed/crib. I ended up not doing that after the first night, because it frustrated my son more than if I wasn't there. I "slept" in his room the first night, but didn't touch or go to him. He "cried", whimpered mainly, but was never truly upset. One of those things you can tell about your child - you just know if they really need or are just frustrated. The second night I stayed in the room next to his but not with him. He woke and whimpered a few times but was able to fall asleep on his own. By the third night and past he was actually falling back to sleep on his own if he woke. I was lucky with 1 bad night without sleep and 1 ok night with some sleep. My son now sleeps 12 hours on his own - he might wake at night, make a noise, and then fall back asleep.

Anyway that's what we did. I wasn't big into letting him cry it out. Didn't feel like this worked that way. I think I got the idea from the "no cry sleep solution", but I changed it up a bit. Oh, when my son would wake up early (before 7am), I would go in and hold him or let him read/play while I "slept" and kept the room dark. Once 7am hit, I'd open the windows and be all cheerful. Before silence. It worked for setting our wake up time.

Good luck. As long as your little guy is getting what he needs during the day, he does need milk at night too.

He is probably hungry or cold. Keep trying to solid foods. I wouldn't 'force feed' but keep offering solid food during the day. My grandson is 6 months old and didn't like cereal at first. My daughter tried making it with water--didn't like it--tried making it with formula--didn't like it--tried making it with juice--he likes it. But didn't take to it well at first. He loves fruits and veggies. Often kids don't like the texture in food and will not eat well. Keep trying, offer a little bit at a time, about 2 tablespoons or less. He doesn't have to finish it, it is more a matter of getting him used to a solid food diet. I hope this helps.

I am having the same exact experience! I will be awaiting responses with you :)

I have a 5 month old who has reflux and his breast feed. He sleeps from 7-7. But managing the reflux is the trick. Our little guy used to do that too. We give him one bottle of formula at night because it is heavier and keeps the acid down. Then his mattress is propped up to keep the acid down. Also the zantac he is on wears off after a couple of ours. You might want to ask for a different medicine. Our baby is on prilosec. I would give that all a try. Reflux is tricky and can cause issues like that. Our baby used to eat that often to soothe his tummy. So I would try all of that and see if you can get some results. But he should be able to sleep through the night at this point. And you shouldn't have to let him cry it out. You could also try a sleep book. We use Good Night, Sleep Tight, by Kim West. That also has worked wonders. Good luck.

Hi J.-

I know that you have already received some great advice, but I had to tell you about my expereience and how we got through it.

I have 3 daughters, and the first two did not sleep through the night until they were 9 months old, but I used my pediatricians advice and it worked on both of them and then my 3rd slept through the night at 4 months.

I should tell you that I tried the crying out method and my daughter screamed for 2 hours straight, and I couldn't do it, so when my ped told me waht to do I was relieved that I didn't have to let her cry it out.

Here is what he said to do:

When your baby wakes up and wants to be fed, let him cry for 5 minutes, gp to his door and say something like "Mommy is right, her, you need to go back to sleep sweetie" The key is to not touch them, or cover them up or give them a pacifier, because then they will depend on you to wake up and do those things instead.

Then go back as frequently as you feel comfortable and continue to do this until they have fallen back asleep. I felt like I was doing something and that I was not just abandoning them.

The first night it took about an hour for her to fall back asleep, the second night only a 1/2 hour and the 3rd night she slept all night. I waited about 10 minutes inbetween crying, so the first night I was in her room 6 times. You may have about 3 nights of less sleep, but then think of the many nights of sleep in your future :)

Good Luck, hope all goes well.

S., mother to 3 beautiful daughters 7,6, and 4. Who had many sleepless nights for about 2 years:)

I am by far not an expert; however have you investigated any remidies for colic or even looked into allergies. My nephiew had the same experiences and at one years old found out that he had sever food and life allergies. Oh, and I mean sever allergies. He is allergic to egg, soy, cats, dogs, and pretty much any type of outside pollen. He also was on Zantac or something for reflux. He was also a very colicy baby for the first year of his life. My sister was so sleep deprived and at times was at wits end. Hang in there and know that it does get better.

Hi Jen,
Don't give people that judge you the time of day and do what you feel is best! My daughter slept through the night at 2 months but then when she was a year old I wanted to get rid of the pacifier so she had to learn how to soothe herself to sleep. She cried for only about 30-45 min the 1st night (only 10 min or so was the hard crying... the rest was off and on). The 2nd night it was about 15-20 minutes and the 3rd night was 5 min. It definitely gets better but you can't give up or else you'll have to start over. I also used to nanny for a family who finally decided to take my advice when their son was 18 months old. They tried the no cry solution and it didn't work for them. So they resorted to crying out. The lady actually had to leave the house the 1st few nights b/c she didnt want to give in to the crying, which she couldn't stand. Let me tell you that little boy was so much calmer and happier during the day when he learned how to sleep. He was a different child!! The 1st night he cried about an hour, and it decreased until after 3 nights he was soothing himself to sleep. If you hang in there, it's possible. As someone else has said.. my daughter has no attachment issues or anything silly people may claim "crying out" may cause. I did a research paper in nursing school and there is no proof it does any psychological damage to babies. Do what you feel is right and I hope you get sleep soon!!! Good luck.
A.

HI J....

apparently you can typically expect 45 minutes crying the first night, then and hour and a bit the second night and then improvements from there. when i finally gave into crying it out, my son cried an hour and a half the first night, then 45 minutes the second night and improved... but still cries a little before bed sometimes, and gets up for one night feeding still, but he's only 4 months.
Crying it out should work if you stick to it. he is definitely old enough and big enough to sleep through the night.
I would say give it a two week trial. Have him cry it out, check on him if you want but don't pick him up... unless you can't take it anymore, but do not rescue him, i.e. go back to rocking him to sleep. make sure he falls asleep on his own at bedtime. Then when he wakes up in the night do whatever you usually do. nurse him, rock him, whatever. eventually he should start waking up and putting himself back to sleep without you even knowing because he will learn to self soothe. the first few night will be rough- he will wake up even more from sleep-deprivation. but you should start to see improvements in the next couple of weeks. if not, THEN I would have him cry it out in the middle of the night as well.

This is the theory. Jodi Mindell's "Sleeping through this Night" has more detail. but every baby is different.

on another note... consider making sure his room environment (sights sounds etc.) is the same when he goes to bed as it will be when he wakes up naturally in the night because it will be easier to self soothe.

start having him use a bottle during the day with some water or juice, then at night give him a small bottle of water and maybe he'll put himself back to sleep. maybe you need to ween him off of the breast now and start having him eat on his own. vitamin d milk is very good for children it help with brain development. if you still want him on breast milk pump. it's probably time to get him off the breast and let him start getting himself a little more independent. he's been conditioned to going back to sleep after he's been fed and wants to be close to you. i am so not opposed to letting him cry it out, if you can handle keep trying. maybe on a night that you don't have to get up and do anything too important.
my 7 year old still comes in to bed with me in the middle of the night. at least he still goes back to sleep w/o alwlays waking me up.

Hey Jen,

I am so sorry for your exhaustion! Sleep deprivation is the worst! Nothing else is sleep! Your judgement can become so impared which can make life miserable and even unsafe. The answers might be right in front of you but you are just too worn out to see them. It happens to everyone when they are tired! I am the founder of a great company called Go Home Gorgeous. Our signature service is an in hospital spa treatment for moms who have just given birth, but we also have a whole sleep relief department with night nannies and sleep specialists who could be a help to you in getting your little one sleeping longer so you can better enjoy parenthood! Please see www.gohomegorgeous.com for more information. My name is R. and I would be happy to help you in anyway! In the meantime, take deep breaths and stay hydrated!

Three Suggestions:
1. He may need an earlier bed time--7 pm or even 6:30.
2. Do you swaddle him?
3. Please check out the book:
The Happiest Baby On the Block, by Harvey Karp
This book was a total life saver.

It's very likely that your son is very hungry during the night. Breastfed vs. formula fed babies have very different feeding schedules and needs. Formula will keep them fuller longer and will allow them to sleep longer. Most breastfed babies can not "sleep through the night" (which is defined as 4-5 hour stretches by the way) until 9-12 months. Also, most 7 month-olds need more than breastmilk to stay full for more than 2-3 (maybe 4-5) hours. You could nurse during the day but give a bottle of formula before bed. Also, most 7-month-olds (mine started at 4 months) are consuming some amount of cereal, veggies, and fruit, so keep trying these foods.