Exausted Mom from Westminster

Is he waking up because of hunger or are you becoming his pacifier? If its a pacifier thing, then dont feed him just sooth him to sleep. Also have you been giving him some cereal or solids before he goes to sleep. At 11 months old he can be on more solids verses milk. My daughter was a horrid sleeper until she had more solids in her meals. Also what might help is to prop the crib mattress up so he is sleeping head over toes. If its truly a need to eat thing, then try to get him to take a sippy cup or bottle so dad can help out. We all need sleep to function and a happy mommy is a happy family. Good luck

Hi K.:

I work full-time and know how difficult it can be when your baby doesn't sleep well. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I also know that things will get better, so hang in there!

My second baby had terrible acid reflux. When she was on the right prevacid dose at 4 mos, she started sleeping VERY well. However, we had a little bump in the road when between 6 and 9 mos. her sleep got progressively worse. It turned out that she was gluten and dairy intolerant. Aside from collicky symptoms and some projectile vomit again, she had lots of gas and diarrhea. The more solid foods she got, the more apparent her food intolerance became. If your baby hapens to have these symptoms too, it's worth seeing if there could be some other digestive discomfort.

Regardless, not feeling good could really be at the heart of the matter. Having had a child with digestive problems I wanted to re-iterate what one of the other mom's said, "Not eating at night allows them to not have reflux all night. Now some kids with reflux eat to wash down the acid, that is why it is important to make sure his medication is right (my daughter did that---but I knew what to do early on and she didn't eat at night long before 11 months). Once she was on prevacid and zantac with me not feeding her at night, she slept through the night."

Growing babies really do need lots of calories, but if you can be sure he's had all of the calories he needs in the day, he won't need to tank up at night when the food can make his reflux worse. Helping him sleep without falling asleep on breast or bottle will help him learn to sleep on his own. Two books that helped me think about how to create a good schedule for my baby, and helped me understand how baby sleep patterns develop were "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and "The Baby Whisperer."

Best wishes,
E.

Studies prove bottle fed babies tend to sleep longer stretches then breast fed, NOT PUTTING DOWN BREAST FEEDING LADIES, breast feeding is best but you cannot see how much in ounces he is getting and it doesn't stay with them as long during the night. He is 11 mos and and you really don't want the habit of the bottle, but if he is already on a bottle try formula just at night. It will stay with him longer, feed him solids right before bed and make sure he isn't napping too long during the day.
I have a big boy who was a BIG baby, he started sleeping through the night at 10 mos other then waking once. I would give him a 8 ounce bottle before bed and a small bowl of oatmeal. That kept him happy from 7pm until 5am and then he needed another bottle and went back to sleep for an hour or so.
If he has never had a bottle try a sippy or strawed cup now of formula mixed with whole milk. He is so close the year mark. The breast milk is great, the best but when you breast feed there is no gauge how much he is truly getting.
Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon.

Remember too, teething and growth spurts cause sleep disruption so don't be sure he is waking to eat. Giving him food every time without being sure that is the reason will condition him. He doesn't need to eat three or four times a night I guarantee if he is getting what he needs at that feedings. Do not just put food in him, try motrin if there are signs of teething, that will help for a good six hours. If he is using breast feeding like a pacifier then he will never learn to self soothe either. Don't rush into him with every fuss, babies go through periods of wake and sleep throughout the night, give him a few minutes. I never did crying it out until the year mark but you don't need to jump up every time to him either and assume he is hungry.

Have you tried co-sleeping? I know that most people say not to because you will have a hard time later but I had to do this with my fourth child because I was so sleep deprived. It worked wonders for us because it wasn't that he wanted to eat he just needed that extra comfort and we really had no trouble transitioning him to his own bed when he was ready. Out of five children the only one that I did not co-sleep is the last one and he just really liked his bed better. I never had any problems with any of them and I got the sleep that I needed to function the next day with all the kids. Good luck and I really hope that you find a solution that works for you soon.

I am actually stuck on this one. I would think with acid reflux you are really watching your diet to keep out foods that would contribute to this condition. The only thing I can suggest is that sometimes it is comfort and not calories and that if you let him cry a little at night he may learn that is not the time for feeding. My sister did this because she had to work and her baby would tank up right before bed and then sleep through. But it was rough getting her to that point for a few nights. If you want to take it a little easier, you could at least lay for a minute or two and see if he goes back to sleep. I used to forget to do that and my son did get up lots just to feel the love. My grandmother even said once my aunt still got up at 9 years old because she would get up with her.

Ok, now I am getting a few more ideas. Be sure to put a wedge in his crib, but most of all pray about what to do, as that is a tricky situation. Best of luck.

OK, I am adding to this. I have heard and I did it with my boys to let them drink out of just a regular cup/glass. We started this at 5 months and had no problems, keep it to water, that should be better for his acid reflux anyway.

To get my son to sleep, I put him in a fisher price rocker/recliner and he cried for 30 minutes but the lack of being able to stand up meant he got bored and fell asleep. The next day it was 15 minutes, and soon I would see him actually calm when I put him in it because he knew he could sleep in that chair, even if he didn't know why.

The sinus thing could possibly helped by cutting milk out of his diet (and anything that causes mucus), and of course yours since you are breast feeding. Eat a lot of garlic (I like bolthous Farms green juice that has tasteless built in) or get garlic caps, but get them burpless, we don't want to cause the little guy more trouble.

Lastly, my friend put her son on a special diet at the advice of her dr. who went back to school to study nutrition and he advised raw goat's milk, carrot and celery juice ( you may need a juicer or a vitamix ). If you want me to ask her for his info so you can ask him yourself, please pm me and best of luck.

And to answer your last question, we all want to sleep. Even if you are not LDS your local relief society may be willing to step in and take some shifts, so please use all your resources to give yourself a break, you poor, poor thing! :o)

Ha ha, one more thing. Dr. Christopher's calcium (they have a tincture for kids) can help those cutting teeth come through faster. http://www.drchristophers.com/extracts-oils/kid-e-calc-ex...

As long as you've got the reflux sorted out, he shouldn't have to get up that many times to nurse at this age. I can so relate, though, as my DS1 was getting up some CRAZY number of times through the night... I was so sleep-deprived that I later realized how dangerous it was that I was driving a car! Eeek.

Anyway, get this book (your library might also have it): http://www.amazon.com/Good-Night-Sleep-Tight-Helping/dp/1.... If you have a partner, it might help to have someone else get up with him for a few nights... that way he'll sort out whether he's getting up 'cause he's actually hungry or because he's just in the habit.

My son's longest stretch of sleep some nights was 45 minutes before I read that book. I used the methods she talks about (there's also a web site: www.sleeplady.com) and within about 2 weeks, my son (15 months old at the time) was suddenly sleeping 11 hours straight!! I was beyond shocked the first time that happened!

Best of luck... you CAN get this sorted out!

K.,

I understand your exhaustion, I have no idea how you are working..

With that said..If you know he is on enough medication and calories.....Well--this is what I was told I HAD to do and it worked well. Keep in mind I had to slowly wean to formula (but my son was not growing well-- 75th to 5th percentile) at 11 months. I was told to first stop nursing him to sleep, took 3 nights of crying it out (painful, but he was 11 months and knew what he wanted). Took 45 min the first night, 35 the second, and 20 the third. After letting him learn to put himself to sleep he eventually stopped asking to eat at night. I sent my husband in to comfort him (no picking up just patting his back--once I weaned I could comfort him). Since the days are longer now you can put a few books in his crib to distract him. Plus I stopped feeding him at night (don't remember all the details). But it didn't take long less than a week. I remember the first time he slept through the night, both my husband and I woke up with a start realizing it was 7 am and he was still sleeping! We both ran to the crib to make sure he was okay, and he was great. Not eating at night allows them to not have reflux all night. Now some kids with reflux eat to wash down the acid, that is why it is important to make sure his medication is right (my daughter did that---but I knew what to do early on and she didn't eat at night long before 11 months). Once she was on prevacid and zantac with me not feeding her at night, she slept through the night.

I know you said you tried crying it out, did he throw up or something and that is why you stopped? You have to get him to put himself to sleep that is the critical skill he needs to learn to be able to sleep through the night.....I know it should be a rule tatooted into every new mom's arm: "babies have to learn how to fall asleep, it is not something they are born knowing how to do". It isn't going to be easy to do especially if you continue nursing and he sees you as a quick fix everytime he sees you. He is human and wants the easy route, this is unfortunantly a tough lesson for an 11 month old for sure!

Hang in there, do some research, make a plan, and remember the golden rule of parenthood "consistency"

R.

Hi K.-
I have been through this recently (until my daughter turned 2, actually). It's totally rough and I understand complete and utter sleep deprivation. Congratulations on having a thriving, happy child--in the end, that is the most important thing. I co-slept with my daughter often and nursed her a lot as well. I refused to do the Ferber-Cry it out Method and preferred Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. In the end, I spent a couple of nights nursing her for only 2-3 minutes each time and then I would stop nursing, sing to her, rub her back, etc until she fell asleep. Then I spent a night or two just rubbing her back, singing to her, etc. I wouldn't nurse her and told her things like big girls don't nurse at night, big girls nurse when the sun comes out. I think the important thing was that I didn't jump, like so many on this site recommend, from nursing openly to crying it out. I gave myself one week to night wean her. And the process above worked--it literally took 4-5 nights and she got it. She wasn't nursing and she still got her close time with mommy. By the end of the first week, she was sleeping longer. By the second week, she was sleeping almost through the night--like 8 or 9 hours! And I still got the closeness with her, and she still got the close time she needed with me. I do think in some ways that sometimes us working mommies are needed more at night because we're not with our children all the time. Children wake up to be with mommy and have close time nursing. When he doesn't nurse, he'll hopefully sleep better. Give yourself a week, knowing some nights will be better than others. It will end and you will get sleep soon--I promise. Hang in there!

Mom, it is time for the Ferber method, this is crazy! Yes, he will walk around the crib for hours and hours because you have trained him to do this!!!! It may take 6 hours or even more at first! But do not go in there! Let him cry! He is controlong this situation! You are not doing yourself any favors here! Let him cry! It may take a week or so of exaustion and long nights but you can nip this in the bud NOW! It will not stop it will only get worse! You need to put your needs first, remember the airpalne analagy! He is so old enough for lots of calories through real food! He should not be up AT ALL at this point!!!!!!!! And you are hurting him by his not getting enough sleep! Good luck, and take care of yourself, you are working hard!

HI K., please go pick up "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weisbuth. Great book and solved our problems within a week.

The best thing I ever tried was the "Ferber" method. It is explained in the book "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by - you guessed it - Ferber. It involves some crying, but does not leave your child to just "cry it out." Ferber is a sleep scientist and has incorporated his research into suggestions for helping teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves which keeps them asleep throughout the night. It is a GREAT resource and has worked miracles for me & for others I know that have used it. I strongly recommend you check it out. Good luck & hopefully sweet dreams!

My first didn't sleep thru the night until age 21 months (not kidding), and we didn't even know that wasn't normal, because we had nothing to compare her to. We figured it was normal, and didn't even complain about it. (I'm not saying it was pleasant.) My second slept thru the night, every night, beginning exactly at age two months.

I will say a prayer that this works out better for you in the near future.

Put him in bed with you! If you co-sleep you will both rest easier and longer...much nicer. I had 2 that would nurse constantly until 2 years and it was fine because we did the family bed until they self-weaned!

All children about your son's age develop a connection with something...a lovey. If he doesn't already have a lovey it would be a good time to introduce a few things to him to keep in his crib. I offered my daughter all sorts of stuffed animals hoping one would become her lovey. She chose a simple, cheap receiving blanket instead.