Help!? I Have a 2 Year Old That Smears POOP!

The best thing you can do is put him in a onesie so that he can't pull off his pull up and then he would call out to you and let you know his poopdicament! Then there is no mess! Good luck!

My potty trained 3.5 year old still wears a pull-up at night and wakes up dry. Luckily, when he wakes up early, he is content at playing in his room. We also realize that once he's out of his room, he's out. So, since he regularly poops in the morning, we have left the little potty that he trained on in his room and he goes in there. Since he can get out of bed, just put the training potty in his room and he can go there. Also, leave the Kadoo wipes, too.

I hope this helps - it's been a lifesaver for us!

J.,

NOT judging here, but I think you answered your question yourself...he doesn't have access to the bathroom. So, he's doing the next best thing, and removing it himself and trying to get rid of the icky ASAP.

As for the bed issue, have you tried the Sleep Seperation tecnique...it's a Super Nanny thing, but I've seen it work great for A LOT of kids. This may help with the staying in his room for naps, and thus cut out the need to lock him in his room. Once the issue of the Big Boy bed is solved then, the issue of the poop everywhere will probably work itself out. Personally, I've not done it because I don't have the need/desire to make that switch in that manner...but, I have a four friends who swear by it.

Also, just know you can't teach a toddler to do something and then take it away from them...it's confusing and frustrating. You've shown him how to poop in the potty and how to pee, but then you restrict it during naptime...just a thought. Once you've given them the power of doing something themselves, like potty and if he's good about going to the bathroom and doing it himself, then he needs to be able to do that consistently.

He's just doing what comes natural. He has no options, but to take the Pull-Up off and remove the Poop himself and you aren't able to get to him fast enough.

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ADDING: Just noticed you edited your request...previously you noted you locked him in his room during nap. Not giving everyone ALL the information prevents from giving honest answers or sharing experience.

Hi J.:
First, you need to understand, that your sons behavior is NOT abnormal.Many mothers here could tell you of their past experiences,dealing with A child who didn't know what to do with a poopy diaper,or pull-up. Your son sounds like he is very close to achieving his goal. Keeping a pull-up on him,while hes at home,is telling him,that you have no faith in his ability. "Mom Doesn't think I'm ready"I totally concur with Deanna: I believe you have answered your own question here.You locking him in his room,is preventing him from succeeding in completing his toilet training.Punishing him,would be unfair,as you have to consider yourself partially responsible for his present failure. Suggesting a toddler clean up his own fesses,is ludicrous. It suggest sadistic behavior and is extremely unhealthy for the child,both physically and mentally.Do these same women force their DOGS to clean up theirs? I'd get rid of the pull up during the day,and unlock the door to his room,so he is able to get to the toilet.I wish you and your growing son the best.J. M

EDITING my response: For all of you,that missed the original posting from J.,She stated that she (LOCKED) her son in his room,for naps.I believe this would have allowed for honest answers to her plight.I think we would all agree, that THIS is the big issue here. J.:I would think,that you would be honest in your request,if you truely wanted to come to a solution for your son.Frankly, I find your sons actions warranted.if I were locked up,and my cry's weren't answered.I'd be tempted to do the same. You need to decide, if its more important,you get your free time,or he is given the opportunity to complete his potty training.

hello J.!
my boy did that too! It has been a long time since it happenned. he also tried smearing the furniture and walls with every thing there was bottled in the house. it turned out he was trying in helping me "clean the house.Then I introduced the concept of "painting"and told him what paints mommy did like and which ones didn't.Also whwre he could " paint".It is my belief your child is a natural born artist he only needs the appropriate "media" to express himself and some guidance.DO talk to Him tell him where he can and where he can not paint. He may seem too young to talk to, but try to catch him at the spreading and very casually take him away. Do have some fingerpaint ready and after cleaning him, introduce him into real painting and tell him about colors.AND...as you "smear" other color paints he will have new choices. Tell your child you like his painting to be done in paper or the shower walls for an example. And do have lots of typing paper and crayons... because I know, you already have a piccasso or a better artist in that little angel. my love to you all.

Hi, I am so sorry you are going through this!

While I don't have the perfect answer as to how to get him to stop doing this, one thing I wanted to share was to stop telling him it's bad. Using the word "bad" with anything associate with poop can have life-long consequences. I was just talking to a young woman the other day who is getting panic attacks and feeling like she is going to soil herself any second. It completely disables her for hours. And then she can't go poop for days. It all stems back to her father punishing her for how/when she pooped when she was little. So please be careful about how you talk to your son about it. You can say its unhygeinic (sp?), that it gets everything dirty, etc. You can give him a way to call you if poop is coming that is like a secret code word that, when he uses it, he gets a little reward, like a sticker or a star. You could also involve him in the clean-up, and he may eventually see that it's not worth it. Also, can he get out of his bed on his own? Why not put a potty right in his bedroom for those "special moments?" Call it the night-time potty, and again, reward him whenever he uses it instead of smearing poop on the walls. And lastly, although he may seem like he doesn' really care about what he's doing, my guess is that he appreciates how it gets a reaction from you and your husband. Try not reacting too strongly next time, like you hardly noticed, and without the incentive of seeing you react, he may give it up.
Another idea: you could tell him that you would like him to go in the potty because that's what big boys do, and that each time he doesn't, you will take away a toy. (Then when he does go in the potty you could give it back to him).
I'm no expert, these are just some ideas off the top of my head. Good luck with this one! And hang in there!
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Addendum: At first I was confused as to why some of the other responders were talking about you locking the door during his naptime, until I read that you edited that out. Knowing that now, I would add that by locking the door you are giving your son no option but to do what he is doing now. You have set up the situation for him, and he is doing his best by it. You can't have it both ways. You can't teach him that poop in a pull-up feels yucky (so that he will use the potty) and then expect him to not feel yucky when he has poop at/during his nap. Of course he is going to feel yucky and want to do something about it. You wouldn't want him to revert back to being ok with feeling yucky, would you? So to reiterate what I mentioned before, maybe have a strong code word for poop in the bedoom, like "HELP! Poop Coming!" And then reward him every time for his great announcements!

He does not know that it is wrong because babies are not wired that way. He needs a consequence for this behavior. One that will let him know that he should not be doing it. I leave that up to you but something needs to teach him a different response.

Try putting a little porable potty seat in his room at nap time, and tell him to call you if he uses it and needs it emptied. If that doesn't work put him back in a diaper at nap and be sure you change him as quickly as possible when he has gone. B

PS, if neither of these works, write me directly, I have a "Social Story" that I wrote about poop smearing.

Hi J., He doesn't touch the poop? You mentioned he doesn't get it on himself... how does he do it?
How about naps nearby where you are? They maybe shorter
but less work to clean up. Does he poop when he is sleeping? or right after? I would try to put the potty chair in the bedroom? Not fun situation...
Good luck, this one has me stumped.
Deb my kids are old, 19 and 17.

Hi J., I don't want to souns harsh, but what you are discribing is not doing good for his age. If ou don't nip this in the bud it will get worse. I had to let one of my daycare child's parents on notice becasue their 2 year old son was doing the same, he ruined a very nice playpen, because of going into his diaper, I would have to put him in the shower, it would be in his hair his ears, I had to take the playpen outside many times to wash it out, but i can never use it for another child, I let them know I was not going to put up with that anymore, there is no excuss for a child over the age of 2 doing this, if there is no discipline for this, there is no reason for it to change. I raised 3 kids now grown, none of them did this, and out of 12 years running a daycare I only had one child do this. The last thing you want is your son to get his fessies in his systum. And I told this childs parents that i could not take any chances of one of my other daycare kids getting his fessies in their systum, even though he naped in the playpen he managed to get it on the carpet outside the playpen, this can never be acceptable behavior. This can cause serious illness to others. J.

He is not understanding that the poop isn't a play thing becuase it comes from his body he thinks its ok to play in it, start showing him your poop and that all poop belongs in the toilet, that his poop is full of bad bugs, or use what ever you feel is the right words, you will have to keep a close eye on him if he is pooping at the same time each day ( that would be awesome ) then you can sit him on the potty chair during that time,sometimes giving him some fruit will help in loosening the stool so when he sits down it just comes out.Not to give him diareha but to make it soft and loose. You ought to be glad he isn't eating it, I know OMG OMG ewwww but believe it or not some kids do, when they are low on iron the do.. oh shoot I just read the p,s you need to sit him down more than once a day,, also put him on long pants onesie's you know all in one that snap, they make them of older babies.. so he doesnt have access to his diapers..

I know this probably sounds like I'm brushing you off but just to calm you a bit, my son also did the same at that age and we tried just about everything, then it just stopped. He's now 42 has a PhD and is a great dad to 5 wonderful kids. While it seems so difficult now it will just be one of the many things you'll deal with during their growing up years. And trust me, the bigger the kid, the bigger the problems so don't worry too much for now.

hay J. i have 2 kids one 5 yrs old the other 1 yrs old what i would do is get a rag and a bucket put the rag in his hand and make him help you clean it up i know it sounds bad. but thats what i did with my doughter and she learned quick if he can smear it all over the place he can claen it up

My son went through a similar stage. It only happened a few times, but he would say, "Poop is fun to play with!" It was so frustrating for me.

I decided not to put him down for a nap until he pooped (which I couldn't always control), or I placed the training potty in his room (with a beach towel under it in case he made a mess) and told him to go on the potty instead of his undies.

Hope he grows out of the phase soon for you!

Have you thought of either leaving his door open so that he can get to the bathroom, or putting a potty chair in his room?
K. Kosanke
Mom to four, grandma to 5 1/2, former daycare person, former instructional assistant E.S.L.

Hi J.,
My son is 2 years 4 months as well and potty training and he did the same thing several times! Regardless of what some people have posted (Julie L's comments were especially disturbing) this is normal behavior. You just need to talk about not playing with poop before he goes down, I also agree with having him help clean it up and putting a potty in the room. I put him in an outfit that's harder to get out of and make sure he knows we don't play with poop, we have also been working with clay more because it is a similar texture so I tell him we will play with the clay when he wakes.
He hasn't done it in awhile and I make a huge deal about how excited I am he doesn't have poopy hands! I think the fact I never was harsh or mean to him about it helped, I just let him know how happy I am when he has clean hands!
Some of my friends also use a video monitor to catch their kids before they do it.
Good Luck!!!

My 2nd child did this frequently, but she has always loved anything squishy textured. She also smeared food, frosting, anything she could squish between her fingers. Making HER clean up the mess helped a lot! (Even if we had to re-clean it later.) She HATES cleaning.

I know it might get on his nerve, but what we did with my first daughter when she was that age was put her to sleep with the pull up and then a onsie. My mom was able to find them in pretty big sizes so she was still comfy. This might make him call you if he goes and you can clean him up...easier than getting it off the walls :)
Good luck hun!!!
L.

Since you say he doesn't like to get it on himself, perhaps you can involve him in the cleanup? I'm sure he'll get tired of it just as quickly as you did!

Good luck!!

Have you tried making him responsible for cleaning up the mess (with your help, of course)?

I saw a "potty training boot camp" segment on the morning news a few months ago, and the instructor's theory was that the children need to be responsible for cleaning up the mess, since it's their body.

Either that, or find a way to secure the pull up or his clothing so he can't take it off and make the mess.

I would put him in a diaper and pajamas that he can't take off (one piece footie maybe, or two piece that snap at the waist) for his naps. Maybe even put the diaper on backwards (if it's not too uncomfirtable) so that the tabs are in the back and he can't reach them. I know this seems like a lot of work for naptime, but it's better than cleaning poop off the walls and furniture! Good luck, my mom says my brother did this, I'm sure it will pass.

Hi J.,

I'm not judging! :-) I've heard that this is pretty normal. Maybe give your son short time-outs if he smears the poop?? Or take something valued away for a short time?

Or--you can do a reward chart and catch him doing the right thing on the potty--positive reinforcement.

Your son is doing great for his age. I think because you began this with him so early, that patience is your friend. I didn't even try to train mine until the day after his third birthday. (Patience is still my friend!)

Good luck to you!
:-) D.

Hi!
It happens to us all. I agree that he needs to have access to a bathroom or a potty chair in his room. Also, since he dislikes the poop, have you thought of having him help you clean it up? I know it might take longer, but it is a natural consequence when you make a mess. He might stop if he has to help clean up.
Good luck and hang in there!