Hi Moms,
Please help. I need advice on how to change my 3 year old son's behavior. About a month ago, he started potty training. He was doing great in the beginning, but he's been slacking off. I know that this takes time, so I'm not worried about it. He's a smart little boy, but very mischievious. He's developed a habit that my hubby and I are just at our wits end. Here's what is going on: My son has always been an afternoon napper. In fact, he loved his naps (and needs them) until about a week ago. I don't know if he is rebelling or what. Well, everytime it's nap time, he goes in his bedroom, goes #2 in his pants and proceeds to clean it up himself and gets it all over his room. What a major mess! I mean, I'm cleaning walls, carpet, furniture, clothes, washing sheets, you get the picture. It grosses us out, not to mention it's alot of work. My hubby and I have talked to him about this time and time again, he seems to understand, but yet it still continues to happen. I don't think he's attenting seeking because I'm a sahm and he's my only kid at home, so I devote alot of attention to him. Today, he was in time out for this for 30 minutes while I cleaned his room again. I even took away his favorite blanky 2 days ago and some of his favorite toys thinking maybe he'd get the message, but it doesn't seem to be working. It surprised me though because he doesn't miss his blanky or his toys at all. Has anyone been through this and can give us some advice on how to break this habit?
Thank you.
MC,
Could you change the place where he takes his nap? Maybe instead of napping in his bedroom, have him nap on the couch where you can keep an eye on him and what he is doing?
We haven't hit the potty training stage yet, but we're getting close. The only thing I can offer is that a 30 minute time out for a 3 year old is very, very long. Too long. How about going into his room with him until he falls asleep and checking on him every five minutes or so to ensure that you don't have a hideous mess to clean up. Or wait outside his room until you hear him rustling around and then change his diaper. It doesn't help with the potty training, but it breaks the cleaning, horrible mess cycle. Your situation sounds difficult! Best of luck to you!!!
My daughter did this, a lot. I finally stopped the naps and we both are so much happier.
If that is not somehting that you are willing to do, then I would not suggest making the child clean it up, he is already cleaning it up... that is what is making the huge mess. I would suggest moving naptime to a later time, so that he is not in bed until after he has gone... a walk will help get things moving a little faster, but won't be a calming bedtime routine. We tried the potty in the room and she would go in it and them try to clean it out and I caught her dumping it in the sink... she knew not to do this, but loves to experiment. It might work for you though. Good luck!
WOW that is gross, but I know it happens.
Do not clean it yourself, have him do it!.
Once he has had to clean his own mess he will get the idea of how wrong it is and that its not how you do things.
Do not let him out of his room until he cleans at least half of the room and then can tell you why he should us the potty instead of his pants.
Good Luck and God Bless
Cindy
Poop playing is disgusting! However, I think all kids play in it at least once, as nasty as that is. My son never played in it regularly as he never liked being "dirty". But, he did refuse to poop in the potty and would wait until he had a pull up on (and if he didn't get a pull up, just used his undies!) My suggestions:
1. Have your son go potty before he takes a nap.
2. Either move nap time up or back, depending on when he is pooping. (Try to figure out how early or late into nap time he goes--figure out his schedule)
3. Have him HELP clean up the mess. If he is wearing undies, tell him you will NOT be washing them, that they will be going in the garbage b/c that is GROSS and you are NOT cleaning them anymore. (My son got really upset when we threw away some undies!)
4. After you have helped him clean the mess ONCE and pitched nasty undies, explain to him that if it happens again, he will be cleaning it on his own. Then, if you have to, keep an eye on him at nap time (check every 10 minutes, whatever) to see if he has gone yet. If he does go, before he can smear it everywhere, take him into the bathroom. Matter of factly explain to him that he needs to get his clothes off and carefully dump the poop into the toilet, where it belongs, and then clean himself up. You will probably want to put him in the bath tub, give him the container of wipes, and be prepared for a little mess from that and the use of LOTS of wipes!
This worked well for getting our son to use the potty to poop. He hated having to throw away undies and then clean himself up. He thought it was GROSS! He did this twice and decided the potty was way better. Also, keep in mind that some boys can be afraid of pooping in the toilet. (Not sure why) GL!
It may sound cold, but he needs to clean up the mess.
S.
Dealing with children who like to play with poop is a common topic on autism listserves around the world. I'm not suggesting your child has autism; instead, I'm suggesting that if you're looking for a population of parents who have dealt w/ poop smearing and poop play, its parents of kids on the autism spectrum. (Did your child begin poop smearing after being on antibiotics or after a vaccination?)
Playing with poop can be a sensory pleasure for a child who is sensory seeking. Give him other outlets for that sort of sensory play, from rubbing pudding around a cookie sheet to playing with jello, to play doh and silly putty, to bathtub paints during bath time. You might also consider a screening by an occupational therapist through Project Find and your local school district (it's free) or through your health insurance. Google "sensory processing disorder" or "sensory integration dysfunction". Google Carol Stock Kranowitz, too -- she has some GREAT books with ideas for a child who is seeking sensory input (like poop smearing).
Good luck.
My son is also 3 and we are going through potty training as well. Have you tried putting his training potty in his room with him at nap time? That is what we do with my son as he almost always goes #2 then. If he goes he then comes and gets me to tell me he went. This seems to work well with him since he usually wants to be somewhere quiet when he goes, like in his room. Then I make a big deal about how good it was that he went in the potty and not in his pants. I also try to avoid punishing him in any way when it comes to using the potty...I don't want to discourage him in any way, although I do make him clean up the mess if he makes one. Just a suggestion, that is what works for us. Good luck!
Cut out the afternoon naps. If he isn't in his room, on his own, where he isn't monitored, this is less likely to happen. Continue keeping him awake until he gets the potty training downpat. I'd say that far more paramount than naps. It gets one of the major milestones addresses (potty training), it saves a lot of aggravation and clean up, you're nipping a bad behavior in the bud hopefully --and I would continue to make it clear that if he poops and messes things up he'll not only be disciplined for it, but he will help clean it up too.
Yuck! I would put him in a diaper before he takes a nap. Don't do pull-ups - use a diaper. And tell him why you are doing it. Don't get into a major discussion with him, just be matter of fact - business like. Good luck!
First of all, I am soo sorry that you have to deal with this! I don't know if making a three year old clean up their own mess ( as was suggested) is hygenically the best plan, but maybe having him help, so he can see how much work it is, would have the same effect. Also if he does it at the same time or under the same circumstanses everytime, you can just follow him and stick right with him until you feel "the moment has passed".
Good Luck
