Help, How Can I Get My Boy to Stop Asking for a Diaper?

Updated on August 30, 2010
J.D. asks from Sherman Oaks, CA
12 answers

My 3 1/2 year old boy is not potty trained, is about to start pre-school, but has to be well on his way to being potty-trained to start school. We are trying to potty train him, leaving him naked, etc. He knows when he has to pee or poop, but when he feels it coming, he just cries for a diaper. We try to get him to go on his training potty, and he'll sometimes even sit there, but just won't go even if we wait for 1/2 hour. We have tried all the tricks to make it appealing to go on the potty (star chart, rewards like toys and candy, money in a piggy bank). You name it, we've done it, and he still has some sort of fear of going on the potty. If I put a diaper on him, he'll pee or poop immediately. His Dr. says he shouldn't hold it for too long, so we end up putting the diaper on him after trying to get him to go on the potty. Has anyone else had this problem? He's very stubborn, but we need him out of diapers. What should I do? HELP!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I read someplace to have him sit on the potty in a diaper to poop, the cut a hole in the diaper and then he will transition to the potty. I didn't have to do this, we had different problems and it took my son a long time to train too (nearly 4).

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Stop buying diapers! Also EXPLAIN to him what poop and pee ARE exactly (waste from food after all vitamins go into his bones and muscles, etc). Let him SEE where poo and pee come from. Sometimes it's a mystery for them. Good luck! Once Upon A Potty (boy version) seemed to really clear things up and "click" the concept for my son.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

My son also asked for diapers. I just kept repeating, no my diapers, we use the potty. Not sure how long you've been working on this, but I would suggest never giving him another diaper again (except for naps and bed). You might try putting him on the potty and then walking away. It really helped my son relax. Sometimes I just left him alone in the bathroom, but sometimes I put his potty in front of the tv.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

have you tried letting him stand to pee? Make a game out of it like sinking cheerios or racing dad. As for the poop lots of kids ask for a diaper to poop in after they have mastered peeing on the potty.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

My neighbor had 3 boys and told me that her boys were pee trained very well, but pooping was a bit scary for them. She told them that they could have the diaper to poop in, and then had to change back into their underwear when they were done. It helped them feel comfortable enough to poop, and then suddenly they didn't need the diaper anymore. Perhaps he needs the security to poop, and knowing that you'll give him the diaper JUST for the pooping might help him to relax.

On the peeing side, my son thinks it's funny to "race" me to the potty. If I have to go, I'll tell him that I have to potty and start to "run" to the potty, he'll chase me and get ahead of me and "beat" me to the potty, and then will get on and pee before I do. I make a big fuss about him getting there first, like I'm disappointed that he beat me. He thinks that's hillarious. A neighbor guy told me that boys are sometimes competitive, and that perhaps having a "peeing contest" with dad to see who can pee the fastest can also break down barriers re. training - of course, Dad has to be comfortable peeing with his son at the same time. Hope that helps!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J., Don't give into the diaper, he is way to old for diapers, and he is old enough to use the regular toilet. it sounds like you tried everything but discipline. My toddlers never asked for a diaper to poop, and in the 13 years of running a daycare care I have never had a child ask for a diaper to poop. In think he may be doing this cause he can. J.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't have any suggestions for you, but I do have an on-line potty training book that I can forward to you. Email me at ____@____.com and I'll forward it to you.
Good luck!
M.

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L.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was having the same problem with my daughter. A few days after her 3rd Birthday I announced I was going shopping and was taking a big girl who was wearing underwear and NO Diapers. She quickly ran and got out of her diapers, put on her panties, quickly grabbed her purse and ran to the door where I was waiting. She announced she was ready to go and that was it! Potty trained since then! No Accidents. Maybe you can use the same tactic, but with a trip to the park, chuck e cheese, beach, any place He likes to go.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

get rid of the diapers. Put him in underwear. He'll fight it, and make lots of messes, but he will get the hang of it soon enough.

My son loves his big boy underwear! On days when he resists potty training, he has to wear the plain ones with no fun characters, and when he is doing good, he gets to wear his fun underwear with Spiderman or something on them.

That is how I finally got mine to wear underwear and try really hard not to go in them. Also, constant reminders to go.

Also, when he went in his diaper/underwear, he had to take the diaper off, dump the poop in the toilet and flush it and clean up. That got old really fast for him.

T.B.

answers from Chicago on

I agree- ditch the diapers. He also might need a really special reward for going on the potty. My son trained at 24 months, but had a really hard time at first with pooping. We had to step the reward up to a Matchbox car for a poop in the potty. It worked!, and he suddenly kept trying to poop EVERY time he had to pee! :) Have you tried running water when he's on the potty? Sometimes that stimulates kids to pee. There's a great online book called the Potty Training Bootcamp. It costs like $7 and it has some great pointers in it. I read it before training my son and used a few things from it. You just have to stick to your guns. He's getting up there in age, and knows how to manipulate. Have him pick out some big boy undies, and put them on him. After a few days (and a few accidents), he'll get the hint!

Good luck!
T.

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A.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is there an acceptable place for him to pee in your backyard? My son got scared of his undies while training when he had accidents and they got wet, so I let him run naked in the back and pee in a drain in the corner. This got him over the fear of the undies and to stop asking for a diaper. Once he knew he had the backyard option he was fine inside and it was a super easy transition to the toilet. He wasn't interested in any rewards and I didn't want to punish him, so lucked out that this worked.

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P.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

I had very similar problems with my son. I figured out by accident that if I put him on the potty and leave he does better. I'd put him on the potty and the phone was ringing so I ran to get it. Usually he cries but when I came back he was quiet. I waited outside the door to see what he'd do. After a couple of minutes he said 'Mommy I pee'd!' He's peeing in the potty now and rarely has accidents. Poop....that's another story. I'm still using the 'I'll be right back' technique and for the most part he does ok. He has had constipation issues so usually his accidents happen because he's trying not to go. Somehow he thinks he can push the poop back in! Sometimes he'll cry if I put him on the potty. If I leave and he's still crying a couple of minutes later I'll let him get down. I don't want him any more scared of the potty than he already is!! I'm sure that the 'be right back' technique isn't in any parenting book but it has worked well for me without too much trauma to my son or my sanity! There is hope, one day he's going to want to date so he'll dump the dipes by then!

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