Potty Training Help! - Smyrna,DE

Updated on August 03, 2008
E.H. asks from Smyrna, DE
16 answers

I'm hoping you ladies can help me with some suggestions on potty training. My son will be turning 3 next month, and he can't move up to the 3-year-old room at daycare unless he is potty trained. Unfortunately, we've put it off and haven't gotten much help from the daycare during the day from what I can tell; now it's come down to the wire and it has to be done. He was going full-time but now that I'm home during the day, he only goes to daycare twice a week, so it's pretty much all up to me at this point. He will sit on the potty, and talk about it, but even if I take him every half an hour he will pee in his pull-up in between sitting on the potty. A big issue is that I just had a baby a month ago, so trying to deal with this and the newborn is so stressful and time-consuming. I've seen people suggest letting him run around naked, but I'm so afraid that I'll spend what little free time I have cleaning messes out of the carpet.

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S.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello E.,
I have a soon to be 5 year old son that has been potty trained since he was eighteen months old. The one thing that I had to do was get ride of the PULL-UPs. They still feel like a diaper to them. Put him in real underware all of the time. Get him his favorite character and tell him that "buzz lightyear would not like it if you pee on him". Also I placed cheerios in the toilet for him to keep his aim in the toilet. He would wake up every morning looking forward to shootinh the cheerios. Good Luck!!! You just have to do it!!!!!

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L.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I just trained my little guy... almost 3.
First, we had some successful pees in the toilet while in a pull - up. Plan a time for his favorite drink after running around and thirsty, then give him 15 min. max. after drinking. We always had success just before bath.
Then, yes, we bit the bullet and planned a weekend where daddy could "do it together"... every half hour at first. We put him in undies and we had a few accidents the first day, (outside play is good too), but not much after that (there's a light at the end). He went much better standing up at the toilet, with a stool if needed. And, we bribed him with going to buy his favorite toy if he went Doo-doo in the potty. Now we're just down to a little candy, but initially it had to be something he really wanted. We also started a star sticker chart.... it's more motivating than you would guess...plus he got a fun sticker to put anywhere he wanted. The trick is to get them motivated to go pee. My little guy wanted to go twice in a row just to get the stickers!!!
After that long weekend, I could take him out for short errands... he didn't want his pullup cause it was scratchy. We just stopped by a toilet about every 45 min. At first he couldn't hold it very long, but the bladder is expanding now as he gains more control. I'm not stressing about night time...still in a diaper but my little guy askes to use the potty just before his last book, and first thing in the morning now that he knows what his body needs.
Good luck... try whatever works; don't worry about the experts...they don't have to cope with an almost 3 yr. old and a baby!!! :)

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K.H.

answers from Lynchburg on

My little boy is 2years and 4 months old and 2 weeks ago i Just stopped putting and clothes on his bottom half. He got the point pretty quickly. After a few days we went to Wal-Mart and picked out his big boy underwear. now after 2 weeks he is potty trained almost completly. You have to be rigorous about asking him every 20 mins or so if he has to go. it starts no....no....no...then YES!!!! and we get to the potty quickly. of course, he does pull ups at night and naps. hope it helps! good luck! p.s. Praise him tons when he does good and say nothing if he has an accident.

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I recently potty trained my 3 year old son and the thing that worked for us was being naked. He had far less accidents while naked then he did when he was wearing underwear. For some reason he thought of the pull ups and underwear as a diaper and went in them. when we first tried he would go potty then as soon as we put underwear on him he would go, then new underwear and 15 mins later he would go in them again. It was very frustrating but the naked thing really worked. I also gave him a huge reaction and a sticker when he used the potty. Try not to pressure him too much though.

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D.U.

answers from Washington DC on

My son will be 3 next week and I just potty trained him last month. I got the Potty Power video from the library. That did a Great job motivating him. He would sing the songs like "no more diapers for me!" Other books and videos didn't motivate him like this one did. Next I took him out of pull-ups for daytime and set a timer during the day. I started with it beeping every hour to remind me to tell him to go potty. Each day I lengthened the time by 10-20 minutes until it was at 2-hour intervals. This gets him in the habit of going to the bathroom. We had accidents for about 5 days and then things got much better. Poop was an issue. For that I watched him like a hawk one day and when he got that look on his face I rushed him to the bathroom. He did protest but I continued. We got him on the potty in time and he successfully pooped. He was proud of himself and said "that wasn't scary!". It took a couple mnore times of that (and some diarhea which gave him lots of practice) before he got the poop part. (My oldest two didn't have any problems with the poop.) Every kid is different, but I hope this gives you some ideas. It basically took a week of doing nothing else, and no more pull-ups.

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Plan a weekend or three day weekend when your husband or other help is around. Take off the pull-ups! They are just diapers for big boys. Purchase the the old time training (cotton) big boy underpants. They get cold when wet and make it yucky to stay in. Make it your only thing to do besides fedding and caring for your new baby ( the weekend potty training). He will get it! Targets for the potty are also fun! (made with squares of tp with ships drawn on them.)

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

If you think he's ready, this is a skill that you can help him learn and it can be a really wonderful bonding experience for you, especially with a new baby at home (positive attention). Have a week of build up before the training starts. Start by reserving a half dozen potty books at the library, also reserve some of his favorites, Thomas, whatever he likes. Go check them out and get about thirty more regular books and start reading the potty books every day. You are going to reward him for SITTING on the potty, something he can do, not going, something he doesn't control yet. Ask a friend to go through her kids toy box and give you 15 to 30 little toys her kids aren't playing with anymore. Match box cars, dinosaurs, whatever and wrap them up. You're going to let him hold a prize while he sits on the potty and you read a book. He gets to open the prize when the book is finished. The idea is to get him sitting there long enough to pee on the potty. The week before, you or hubby make extra meals and put them in the freezer so you can really concentrate on this. Also, let your son pick out the big boy underwear at the store. Get him a potty that makes noise when you go if you have the money and are training on a potty (vs. toilet). It's instant notice to him that he went. When you get home, see if he'll try it out. If not, you go on it so he knows what will happen. Show him how you dump the pee in the potty and flush. Have a day where you take him to SIT on the toilet at many different places like a store, the library, the park, etc. This way he won't be scared of them when he's potty trained. Make a list of all the "big boy" things he's doing lately, or things you could start letting him do. Setting the table, answering the phone, walking next to the cart at the grocery store, whatever you've noticed or are comfortable with. Now you can talk about how grown up he is and that he'll be peeing and pooping on the potty soon. Think of this as the build up we have around Christmas, or your holiday of choice. Wrap up the underwear and have hubby give it to him the day you start. I agree about doing it on the weekend when you can really focus on it. My son had accidents for three days and then got it. That was with me playing with him constantly, reading him stories, and doing happy dances and being silly when he went on the potty. Remember, it's a skill to be able to go on command (i.e. when you're sitting on the potty, and not ten minutes later.) Do not ask a toddler if he wants to go, take him and make it fun, but get him into a routine. We always pee on the tree in our front yard before getting into the car for instance, because that's more fun than the potty. Also, it was helpful for me to write down when he went. I found I need to take him every two hours in the morning but much less in the afternoon. After the first week my son was still pooping in his pants. He wanted a dump truck. I bought it for him and told him when he pooped on the potty he could have it. A few nights later he asked about it and I told him the same thing. The next morning he got up and kept trying to poop on the potty until it happened, and he was so proud.
A few things to know going in: plan to do a lot of laundry. Also, my son took an extra hour or so to fall asleep at night because he was so excited about his new skills. This happened the day he went on the potty, the day he told me he had to go and made it on time, the day he decided to poop on the potty and did, the night he got to sleep in his big boy underwear. You have to find some patience and just be proud that he's accomplished something. (Hard when you're sleep deprived, I know.) I want to end with this...it can be fun and fulfilling. My son told me each day he was "having fun with mommy" and I think it was due to the extra attention I gave him and how silly I was. And since he was naked except for his big boy underpants, I loved reading and getting hugs and "skin" contact with him that I hadn't had since he was a baby. Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Washington DC on

I have 3 sons. each one was different but they all remember their favorite part of potty training....Daddy teaching them to hit the cheerio! that's right. My husband stepped up to the plate for me. It's called divide and conquer. I taught the girls he taught the boys. We bought big boy underwear like Daddy! And they went to the potty with Daddy! And he put the cheerio in the toilet and it was like target practice. All little boys like shooting guns. LOL So my boys all learned to aim right. Make it fun let your husband help. don't stress. My youngest son woke up one morning screaming, pulling at his diaper. I thought he'd been bitten by a brown recluse. I yanked the diaper off and stood him in the floor so i could search for a mark of any kind and he ran to the bathroom. He climbed onto the toilet went pee and poop and never let me put a diaper on him again. He was one month away from turning 2. he was tired of being the baby i guess. he wanted to hit the cheerio like his brothers. each child is different. talk with him about being the Big Brother. And let your husband teach him. have fun. mj

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T.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 3yr old boy and a 5 month old baby girl...we started potty traing recently because the Doctor told us that our son whould regress after the baby came so we did not push the issue. We started about a month ago and he has done better than expected he thinks it is fun!! We also implemented a treat system were if he goes pee he get's a mint and if he goes poop he gets a M&M...So now he goes without wanting thoses treats...We also took away the diapers and pullups for the daytime becasue he would just pee and poop in the pullups...He picked out the Big Boy underware himself so he does not like to mess them up...The other thing is it is key to ask them ALOT to try to go potty because they get destracted and that is when accidents happen. I would also talk to your daycare and see what they will do for him during the day so your efforts wont be lost!! I found that getting out of pullups works the best because he saw them as diapers...I hope that is helpful, it is very hard and accident are going to happen but you can't push them too much or they will just want to do the opposite of what you want...

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M.K.

answers from Norfolk on

Good 'ole Dr. Phil! Try this web site:

http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Dr-Phil-Potty-Traini...

I just trained my 3 year old twins (1 boy) and also used this method with my 8 year old son. Tailor it to fit your little guy and be patient. For pee it only takes 1 day, really! Then pay close tabs to that and the poop will follow suit quickly. Good luck!

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L.K.

answers from Norfolk on

Okay, I am in the same boat. Here are some suggestions though: Get a potty book (the one with noises that sound like toilet flushing, Elmo has a great one) and let your son read while sitting on the potty or you read to him,
Make a huge deal when he does use the potty (like singing, dancing, jumping up and down, positive reinforcements) then he'll want to go so he can get that reaction, Offer a treat if he goes, like a favorite candy (my son gets 1 chocolate chip for pee-pee, 2 chocolate chips for poop and 3 chocolate chips for both), Lastly try to make your son sit on the potty until he goes. I think this is very important because then they realize the purpose of sitting on the potty is to pee or poop. Hope this helps a little bit. Good luck!!!

L. K.

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

No two children are alike, and what works for one will not work for another. I had one son who wanted to wear underwear and pretty much trained himself, and another one who didn't want underwear because "it lets the pee out." But if your son is wearing pullups already and goes in them regularly, then you will most likely have to ditch the pullups in order to potty train. If it's not possible to do it now because of your new little one, then maybe he should stay in the 2s room a bit longer. If you're stressed, he will be too, and that is not a good environment for potty training.

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C.J.

answers from Washington DC on

get rid of the pull-ups. kids think they are diapers because they basically ARE more expensive diapers. put cheerios in the toilet so he practice aim and because even teenage boys think it's fun to pee on things. let him run around naked on non-carpeted areas or outside. for my daughter just putting her in regular undies that she picked out and pants worked because she was aware of accidents and how/when they happen. i also enlisted her help in cleaning up messes without making her feel bad about them. 'it's ok, honey, next time you can do it in the toilet.' plus we read potty books. it's weird that your daycare isn't more helpful. good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Cumberland on

Hi E.,
My son and daughter-in-law had been experiencing the same problem with my almost 3 year old grandson. Running around naked is fine but I agree that it adds more work for you, but you NEED to get him out of the pull-ups. They are no more than a pull-up diaper and they wisk the wet feeling away. My suggestion (worked for my other grandsons) is to buy several pairs of training pants and several pairs of plactic pants. Put your son in these and when he pees he will definitely feel the wetness and it will be much easier to break him. If he has any leakage at least it won't be as bad a just taking aleak on the carpet. :-) In the meantime keep sitting him on the potty and lots of praise when he does use the potty!!! Good luck!

K. Dawson
work from home grandma
www.marykay.com/kdawson2

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K.W.

answers from Washington DC on

All of the previous advice is helpful only if your son is READY to be potty-trained. I learned from my oldest son that you can not push a child into being potty-trained. I know that you want him to be able to move up in daycare, but it's not fair or realistic to put him on your time-table. If he is not psychologically ready, all of your efforts will only lead to frustration and possibly rebellion, on his part. I know this may not be the advice you were looking for, but I think that you should just give him more time. Keep talking to him and encouraging him, but don't force the issue. One cute book that my kids like is "Time to Pee", by Mo Willems. Good luck and remember that this too shall pass!

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K.D.

answers from Richmond on

Hey my name is K.. I have 3 kids, 2 boys 1 girl, letting him run around the house naked is not a bad idea, but not naked let him put on big boy underwear and make him feel like a big boy. If his father or a male figure is around that would help big time. Let him see him go to the bathroom and always encourage him. Every 15 minutes ask him to go to the big boys room he will kind of enjoy it. He will eventially feel like a big boy and want to go by himself. I hope this advice helps you.

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