Help Help Who Can Help!!!

Get the book Children the challange

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Challenge-Improving-Parent...

3 yr old cusing? seriously, get some hot sauce ASAP

One word. TIMEOUT, your 3 year old isnt the boss and you need to take control you are the mommy and she needs to know that.

Your post brought back a memory and I had to laugh. When my son was that age, he had to be in time out every so often. One day after several sessions, he acted up again and I said he needed another time out, and he told me "Mommy needs a time out!". I said "You know what? You are absolutely right! The rule is you get so many minutes as your age. Since I'm 39, I'm taking 39 minutes lying down in bed being quiet. If you can lie down and be quiet too, you can be with me.". We ended up taking a nap, and we both felt MUCH better when we woke up.

I think YOU need a 'time out'...just an hour or so, get YOU outside...lay the three yr old down for a nap, sit the other two (ages?) down with a 'kid' movie or their fav game on the XBox or whatever game system they like and some popcorn...THEN...take thee away!...THEN...when you have a good 'breather' behind you gather up your crew and make cookies, paper puppets or something that you four can do together...I have three grans here and the situation is basically the same, it's a time honored human thing, when you have an odd number of us together it's hectic, an even number and the opposite is true because we all tend to 'pair' up.
If you take your moment each day and they have theirs and then you take time together thereafter they will have something fun to do with Mommie rather than trying to vie for attention in such a negative way.
Best of luck & have a happier summer!
A.

Hi A.,
Most kids unless properly trained will drive anyone crazy. I have a 2yr old daughter and a 3.5 yr old son (17 months apart) and I was recommended a book a long time ago by a good friend with amazing kids (4 of them!)
It is called "To Train up a Child" by the Pearls.
It teaches you how to properly train your children.
You must set a standard that for every act of disobedience or unkindness there will be a consequence. You must then explain the ground rules and be CONSISTANT without losing patience and without raising your voice.
Raising kids is alot of work but if you train them well with love and patience and consistancy they will be a blessing.
Please buy this book and read it- it will change yur life for the best I promise!!

serously you cant just keep ignoring or doing things to keep you busy. YOU have to show them who's boss and not make her figure out because she never will. put her in time out, make her sit on a chair, no candy, toys, or tv. Whatever it takes to get her in control. Before you know it they are going to be a bratty teenagers getting everything they want.

.

Take a look around. They have to be learning this from someone. A three year old doesn't learn to cuss, hit and scream unless they are seeing someone else doing it. Also, a three year old shouldn't be outside by theirself at any time. What you and others teach them is what they learn. Put the blame where it belongs. On the adults they are around. You can't blame a child for what they learn from others. If the adults straighten up their acts then the children will follow.

Hi A. - I can sympathise - mine still do it to a point. Without knowing the ages of the other 2 it is hard to really recommend age appropriate tools. If the 3 year old joins in - that is a learned behavior at that age.

I can remember feeling this way, my guys are 13, just 12 & 10 now but boy can they argue over nothing. I flat out refuse to argue with them, its quit or take the consequences. I believe that every child is entitled to their feelings but they cannot blame another for it. We have 1 on 1 long talks some times and to me it is trivial stuff - but to them it is the end of life as we know it. So I let them have their say and sometimes thats all they need to do is get their frustrations out.

We have the "circle of love" in my house - a lime green hula hoop! The offending pair have to stand in it face to face and must find 5 positive things to say about the other one or they don't come out until they can.

Not sure if that is something you could try. But I agree with Ava, we as Moms need a time out too. I can go to my room and LOCK it when I need time out. Try tiring them out with a physical game and letting them nap while you chill.
Good luck
M. F

Put your foot down. Your children sound like they need some discipline. However, they also sound like they need some positive attention from you. It sounds like they're not getting what they need as far as structure is concerned. I wouldn't go overboard, but you need to institute some structure in your house.

Spend more time actually engaged with them in activities. I don't mean keeping THEM busy, I mean being busy WITH them. Do some crafts, help them with theirs and make yours sloppy and silly. Read to them and discuss what you're reading, and so on. It sounds like you're basically allowing them to raise themselves right now. You have to step in and raise them yourself.

Give them time-outs for inappropriate behavior. The rule is one minute for each year of age (and in our house, time-out doesn't start until the child is quiet, i.e. they can sit there and scream all they want, but their 2 or 8 minutes doesn't start until they are quiet and calm.) You can also start a behavior chart or something similar.

You just need to get engaged.

Buy the book: Parenting With Love And Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline
If there is a seminar in your area I strongly suggest you sign up, and take your husband if he will go. You will be amazed at how possible peace is!

I agree with the moms below that you need some sort of schedule to your day. It should include quiet time for the kids, where they spend an hour in their rooms playing quietly or resting or reading, and where you will get a break. After lunch is a good time; that's what works best for my 4-year-old. My 2-year-old still naps, and her naptime and my older daughter's quiet time are at the same time. Try to get involved in some organized activity outside of the house, too, if you can. Library storytime is great--they don't just sit quietly and read, they have songs, puppets, etc. My kids love it. If there's a mom's group in your area you might want to join that, too. That way you will have activities planned out for you. Crafts are great and if you are interested you can easily design your own at-home preschool program (or steal mine... which is online at http://sahmpreschool.weebly.com/ )

Good luck! I hope you get some peace soon.

I don't normally answer these questions, but you really seem to want help so here goes. Discipline. Children need boundries and to know how much you love them by telling them no and punishing them for behavior you do not want them to exhibit. Some possible punishments: taking away priviledges from TV, Computer, video games, seeing friends or having them over. Making them do extra chores around the house. We personally do what we call the "No Board" This means that every time they complain, fight, argue or don't do what we tell them to do or not to do, they get a no. This means that whatever they want to do next or go next is now a "NO". Even if it means cancelling all children. My daughter started mouthing back at me and she didn't get to go to her favorite place to hang out for 2 weeks. She learned her lesson and hasn't since. Of course I expect it to be tested again. Always be ready for them to test the water. Always remember you are their mom first, not their friend first. Good Luck. (p.s. my kids are 10 and 13, so this may not necessarily apply to all kids)

If they wont listen put them in time out or let them have r est time