Help Getting 7 Mo Old to Sleep Through the Night

My little guy did not sleep through the night until he was 11 months old. I think some babies do and some just take longer for that part of their little brain to develop. It is hard, I know, but hang in there, it will get better. Get the book, "Healthy Sleep, Happy Child" it has been a life saver for us. I don't think he slept more do to the book, but it did help us understand what was happening and how long it would last and why. Some do not have the capacity to sleep through the night until much later, crying it out or not. Hang in there, it will get better and you will sleep again. Good Luck.

In my opinion, I think depriving him of nursing during the night at this young of an age is not a good idea. His tummy is still tiny and empties faster than an adults tummy. He needs as much from you as he can get. He cries for 2 hours because he's hungry. I think that when our little ones are babies we need to let them take the lead when it comes to how often we nurse. If he were on formula you could see exactly how much milk he is getting, but when you are nursing, you really have no idea the amount it takes to fill him up. I think letting him cry it out, or sending dad in to comfort him is not the best idea. He needs you. If you stopped nursing at night just to get some extra sleep, it isn't worth it. It's better that you are sleep deprived than your baby being deprived of nourishment and the comfort of you when he needs it.

in the words of DR. Sears, "a child left to cry does not learn to sleep, he learns that no one is listening." breastfed babies may need to be nursed at night for a long time. . . AT LEAST until 6 months, 5 months is pretty early to stop night nursing, even bottle babies need midnight snacks until 6 months or so. can baby sleep with you? a few books "no cry sleep solution" "good nights" and Dr. Sear's "Sleep Book" may all give you some ideas, answers, information on age appropriateness for sleep and some peace of mind.

Your baby is hitting tons of developmental milestones and midway through the first year is a major growth spurt time. Your baby may legitimately need the reasurring contact and calories of one or more nighttime nursings (I know my three babies sure did. It's a matter of meeting needs, not being manipulated somehow by someone who cannot reasonably discuss their discomforts with you. A baby is a baby, not an adversary, and I believe babies are to love. It seems to me the more he cries, the more he is wasting calories that he could be using to learn and grow. Any crying longer than a couple minutes sounds positively miserable for everyone. Have you considered keepng him near you to sleep so you don't have to really wake up to top him off during the night? You might like the books Nighttime Parenting by Dr. William Sears and The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I really appreciated both of them. You might also be interested to know the medical definition of "sleeping through the night" is sleeping for a four to five-hour stretch. While some babies might sleep longer, it's *not* the norm and I don't think it's helpful or healthy to try to dramatically alter his personal norm if he is telling you so clearly he needs to nurse and be near you. You must be going crazy with exhaustion and annoyance! How hard! Personally, I'm all about skipping the mental gymnastics and just meeting needs because I value my sleep. In my opinion, anything you can do to restore a feeling of peace to your relationship by responding to his cues will have you both resting easier soon. He needs to trust you'll be there when he calls--I think that's healthy, not manipulation. Wishing you snuggly, restful nights. ;)

Try this book: "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West and Joanne Kenen. (www.sleeplady.com. You might look around the message boards there & see what you can find.)

It makes me crazy that the "cry it out" camp has such a stronghold on parents. You DON'T need to make your baby cry to learn to go to sleep. It's counterintuitive. I know that I get keyed up when I've been crying... it certainly doesn't make *me* relaxed & sleepy!

Anyway, this book will help you teach your son how to gently soothe himself to sleep. Once he learns that, then the only time he'll wake up & stay awake is if he really is hungry. And he might be... depends on the baby, how much he eats in the day, how fast his metabolism is, etc. My DS2 went from waking up more than 8 times a night (ugh!) to sleeping 11 hours straight. And I got to be right there while he learned how to relax & fall asleep gently. It was great for all of us.

Best of luck!

I wholeheartedly agree with the advice from Kate P., Sally W. and Timbra. Please consider getting the No Cry Sleep Solution or the recommended Dr. Sears books. Don't worry about what other people have told you is "normal" for an infant. You know your baby best. Babies need mom for lots of reasons, and night time is no different to them. Having baby sleep near you may be the best way for everyone to get more sleep. Don't worry about creating "bad habits" or thinking your baby will "manipulate" you. Someday this, too, shall pass, and one day you will miss these baby days.

Hi S.,

My child is now almost 2 and sleeps through the night very well. Up until she was 12 or 13 months she was waking up every night. Taking into consideration all of the information I looked at and got from others I decided to continue nursing once per night until about 8 or so months. Once the night feedings stopped my husband got up with the baby whenever she woke up, whether it was once or several times. Even though there were times we were at our wits end (we were both working full time so it made sleep very difficult), we decided that the "cry it out" method was not an option and we just decided to wait it out. At around 12 months our little one magically just started sleeping through the night, and we have had minimal issues with sleep since. So, my suggestion would be to wait it out. It's so hard but it's worth keeping the bond with your child strong and not doing anything that could cause loss of trust. Good luck and I hope you and your husband are able to get some rest soon.

By the way, you are doing a good job using your gut when he needs to eat and when he just needs to cry, but so you know, babies tend to wake lots at night, just like we do, but we have trained ourselves not to wake up fully that infants don't know how to do yet. (Sleeping through the night is really only 6 hours...doesn't seem like lots, but it is a long chunk for a young baby)

My son is 14 months old and was breastfed until he was almost 13 months old and still wakes up at least once at night. At his age, he is not hungry in the middle of the night, just thristy, so I give him a non-leak glass of water and a few safe toys when I put him to bed, but at your son's age, he may truly be hungry. I would either take my son to the couch or rock him in his room (I tried to not wake Daddy too much because he had to be to work early) and would doze there while he ate and then put him back to bed. Try not to turn on the lights as that tends to wake you up more and make it harder to go back to sleep. If you are really tired and are able to stay home, try to nap with the baby. If you work, make Dad take the baby so you can take a 30 minute powernap/rest when you get home (before you start dinner or whatever else) or I found that if I pack 1-3 pillows aound myself on the couch during the night feeding, I could pretty much fall completely back to sleep on the couch and would just wake up when the baby was done eating, so we both could go back to bed. I hope this helps. I should also mention that my son ate tons of solids and still would wake in the middle of the night for his milk, so that solution may or may not work for your son either.

If you are so exhausted, maybe you could pump and do every other night trade off with Dad. My son never took the bottle, so I was on my own until I weaned him at 12-13 months, but I was at home and able to nap during his morning nap! If your son needs to eat twice, I would let him. He may be growing and need the extra food. He also may be teething or sick and need the comfort. My only goal was that he not get used to sleeping in my arms too much so that he could still "put himself" to sleep as he was a great sleeper in that sense and I never let him sleep in bed with me. Maybe focus on getting him to fall asleep by himself at night instead of trying to get him to sleep all night (which I can tell you from experience is a lost cause...at my son's age though, I can turn on the fan in our room to cover some of the noise and he would fall back to sleep himself). Plan on trying the cry it out, if necessary, when he's closer to 12 months or so (or only do it for falling asleep at the start of the night for now...and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for trying that...every baby is different and some kids really respond to the cry it out method, as my son did).

Again, trust your guts! You know your son better than anyone else! If you need other suggestions, it seems like your son and mine are quite similar, so just write me!

S., 26, mom of Tyrrone, 14 months, and #2 on the way in Aug to start this all over again!!!

S.,
I personally don't believe in letting the infant "cry it out". I believe it creates within that child a sense of insecurity that is hard to outgrow. As a child, my oldest daughter was asked to "cry it out" and I see the insecurity to this day. There is a deep seeded mistrust of loved ones.
There is a difference between not answering a fusing baby and not answering a baby that is upset. Follow your heart on this one. When your heart says to go in the room, do it!
With my whole heart, C.

I think your doing a good job. Getting up all hours of the night to feed a baby isn't always necessary. They get to be expecting it every time they wake up. I have an 8 month old and she sleeps through the night has for awhile, I also breast feed. And I dont think my baby wakes up hungery. Have you tried giving your baby any solids yet? That could help him get throught the night if he had a little baby cereal a little before bedtime. You can mix it with a little jar of baby fruit. Give that a try. I think your doing a great job! Just try to do what feels natural, if you want to go in and comfort him in the night go ahead and do it just try not to pick him up. Give him his pacifier if he has one, rub his cheeks or hum him a little song. There are also some suggestions in the book "what to expect the first year". I have found that to be helpful.

B. O
Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4ellise.com

You may not be able to get him to sleep through the night. To be honest, most babies do not sleep through the night until they are over a year old. Sleep cycles of babies are shorter. He very well may be hungry in the middle of the night as well. The first year they go through so many developmental stages (physical, mental and emotionally). There is a booth called, " The No Cry Sleep Method," by Elizabeth Pantley. It is helpful as it explains and helps you understand the sleep patterns of babies. It can also help you set realistic goals and put a plan of action into place. It will take some time though. It has helped my little one (8 months) go from waking every 2-3 hours, to waking once to twice a month. We have been working on this for about 3 months. There are of course times when we take a few steps backwards due to illness, teething, or just a bad night and we have to start over again, but it has helped. Good luck S.. I know no to little sleep is tough. For awhile we had a three year old waking from nightmares in between the baby waking every couple of hours. I thought I was never going to sleep again! It will pass though. Oh, also try getting into a bed time routine and filling his tummy (rice cereal) before bed time. A warm bath seems to really relax my little one. Good luck!

I'll give you another perspective. I agree with Brooklyn. There is no hard & fast rule about when a kid is able to go without being fed at night and each kid is different when it comes to being able to sleep through the night. I also agree that you can easily fall into your baby waking up to eat out of routine and not need. If you're like me, you only want to get up for the need not just the routine. I've had 3 kids - all breastfed. They stopped eating at night & started sleeping through at 7, 4 & 3 1/2 months. I think it has way more to do with weight than age..that's just my opinion. The one who started sleeping through at 7 months probably wouldn't have done it on her own for a long time without sleep training. We used the Ferber method & it worked like a charm! The second one was a fluke...I had fallen asleep on the couch out of exhaustion. When he woke in the middle of the night, my husband came to tell me. Because I hadn't gotten ready for bed, I stopped on the way to feed him to quickly brush my teeth and use the bathroom. The most amazing thing happened - he had been crying for a few minutes & by the time I got to him he had fallen back to sleep. He never woke up to eat in the middle of the night again. That told me that he no longer needed it, he had just been in a routine. My third did it all on his own, too. I think the later ones slept through faster because I started doing some things right early on. I told you all that just to illustrate that kids - even breastfed ones - don't HAVE to nurse through the night forever. My kids were perfectly happy, healthy & growing sleeping 11-12 hours at night from the time they were 4 months old. And just because they are waking up doesn't necessarily mean they are hungry. It could mean they're just used to it. At 7 months old, your son is old enough to try the Ferber method. I love this method of sleep training because it is based on science - done by sleep experts and it makes great sense. If you want to know all about it, I'm sure you can google it, or you can get the book 'How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems' by Ferber. It saved my sanity when my kids were tiny. I like it because it does allow your kids to cry to see they'll be okay, but it also teaches them that you are always there so they feel secure. It basically involves having a bedtime routine, no crutches to help them fall asleep (no feeding to sleep, no rocking, no music - nothing that won't be there when they wake in the middle of the night...because they will...we all do), and then allowing them to cry for increasing intervals of time. You let them cry for a couple of minutes, then go in & check on them - talk to them sing to them, touch them, but DO NOT pick them up. After a couple of minutes, leave again. This time wait a slightly longer period of time & then go in & repeat. It can be tough for a few days, but when they understand that you're serious & that going to bed means sleep & they don't get out, they stop crying to go to bed & they stop waking up nearly as much. One of my kids never woke up again, other than when she was sick. She's 5 and I can count on 2 hands the number of times she's woken me up in the middle of the night. If you want more details about how it works, please feel free to send me a message. Good luck!

He's still pretty young to be sleeping through the night. My daughter didn't start sleeping through the night until she was about a year old. Don't try to make him do it. He knows what his body needs whether it's the nourishment from nursing or just the comfort to help him go back to sleep. Whatever it is he obviously needs it or he wouldn't be waking up for it. His tummy is too little to hold anything for too long so he must need to eat to fill his tummy back up so he can sleep some more. When they're that young they need lots of little meals not 3 big ones like us. Their tummies are too little for big ones. I would stop trying to make him sleep through the night and just feed him when he wakes up so he can go back to sleep. Wait it out a little longer and then help him learn to sleep through the night. He'll do it, he's just too young right now. He still needs the nourishment during the night.

Hi S.,
I have twins, so I've been down this road with sleeping issues....usually at different times though (oh joy). First off, are you giving formula or something solid at the last feeding before bedtime? If not, you might try that. I was told to do this and mine started for the most part sleeping through the nite at 2 months old. This and swaddle blankets..Yahoo!!
The other thing, if you have not read Healthy Sleeping Habits of Happy Children you owe it to yourself to purchase this book and read it. I discovered that because my babies were not getting good naps during the day they were sleep deprived and that was causing the waking all night long. It was amazing that from the very beginning of just us learning to put them in cribs and let them cry for a bit till they went to sleep....they immediately started napping and sleeping through the night. Now occasionally one will wake in the night and cry and unless it becomes very long/loud crying (which I'm afraid will wake the other) we allow them to cry for a bit and it usually takes under 5 minutes and they are back to sleep.
It works wonders when you get the right info and can use it....good luck with this, I think once you find a system you like you will be one happy mommie!!!
D.

I loved the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child. Loved it. Good luck1

Is he on some type of a schedule? A schedule is the only way I know of to get a baby to sleep through the night early. Ours did around 12 weeks and has been sleeping 12 hours for months (she is 13 months now). I honestly don't think 5am is too horribly bad...We cluster-fed our DD before bedtime..6pm, 8pm, 10pm. Then put her down until 6am, at which time we promptly woke her up every morning. This is part of the scheduling concept and it is v. important. Then we dropped the 10pm, then the 8pm slowly. of course by the time she was sleeping 12 hours she was eating solids so this maybe is an issue for you? You can read the historical posts on this website for more information on scheduling. There is at least one post every week on this sleeping topic, so maybe you can look up other posts?