Help-My 15 Yr Old Son and Inappropriate Web Sites

Updated on April 17, 2008
A.S. asks from Missouri City, TX
5 answers

We block our computer with software to limit where they can go but somehow my 15hr old biological son got around it and was visiting provacative websites..Ok PORNOGRAPHIC websites. I'm smart enough to know sex is out there at his age and his hormones are raging, but how do I talk to him about it and not make it taboo and more attractive?

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

You didn't mention... is this your biological son or your stepson? If it's your stepson, how's your relationship with him?

If it's your stepson, it might be a good idea to have Dad have a heart-to-heart with him to find out why he goes to these sites. Is he curious? Do his friends do it? And then explain why you feel it's inappropriate (it devalues sex, which is an act of love, it doesn't show respect to women, etc). At 15 he's plenty old enough to understand what is and isn't respectful, and plenty old enough to show that respect.

Good luck with this!

3 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Anchorage on

Hi A.! What a difficult struggle that I think most teens have to deal with! Our boys are still young, but my nephews have struggled with this and most men do, too. They just need some tools to succeed. One thing that we do here in our home for accountability is to have one computer with internet access in a common area. My kids are young enough that I control the websites they go to. However, my brother and sister-in-law only allow their teen to be online when they are at home. They log in and out of their computer when they are on it and my nephew does not know the password. A book I would recommend is Every Man's Battle and I think there may be a version for teens, called Every Young Man's Battle. Also, a website that my husband and I have joined is called XXXChurch.com. They have a really cool download, where if you sign up, you pick two accountability partners (someone you know) and if any one on your computer accesses pornographic sites, an email is sent to the accountability partners. A great deterrence to make someone stop and think before they do it, if they know someone else is going to find out.
Hope this is useful info!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Lock the computer. You can buy the little locks at Wal-mart and insert them in the plug. Tell him he is not allowed to utilize the computer till you feel it's time appropriate. If he fusses, let him fuss. He'll get over it.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.J.

answers from Houston on

Hi, I am a psychotherapist and I specialize in these issues (sexual compulsivity/sex addiction). There is a brand new book now called "What's the big deal about pornography. A guide for the internet generation" by Jill C. Manning. You can find it at Amazon. It is very appropriate for young people, I recommend it to my clients.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.Y.

answers from Houston on

I would recommend that his father talk with him about this, if this is possible. I think that its not something you can ban him from, because he can just as easily access it at a friends' house, etc. You can talk about how you feel about it, but usually, men can talk about it better, because they were boys once....

1 mom found this helpful
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