"Help a MOM That Barely Has Time to Breath"

Every time my husband and I are having trouble dealing with our circumstances we remind each other that "this is just a moment in time. Next week, next month, next year, this will just be a memory that we will say 'remember when'". You are so lucky to have a supportive husband. That is something that many of us pray for daily. If your kids are adjusting and doing ok, just ensure the time you are with them is quality. Many women have to work at jobs that aren't their dream and don't have the flexibility your employer seems to provide. I am lucky enough to have an awesome job in an incredible field and still am having issues with leaving my 3 year old son. I feel like I need to be with him more and am considering quitting to stay home for a while. There is a light at the end of your tunnel. One more semester and you are there. One more semester and your hard work will pay off. Don't give up and for heavens sake, don't quit! Just remember how good it feels to be able to say "ok" when your kids ask you for a goody at the store or when you can walk out of the shoe store without the deep money stress sigh. Count your blessings and keep your chin up. Drink lots of water, stand tall and practice deep breathing stress releiving sighs - it isn't magic, but it helps.

Oh yeah, I am with Dee - What is a Pipe Designer?

Keep up the good work ! That is great you are able to be off on Fridays! I also work 10 hr. days and w/an Eng. Co.! I have 2 children also! and come the end of the busy day we are all tired!! I only get maybe 2hrs. out of an evening w/them! so don't feel bad! I wish I could be off on Friday! Once you have completed school that will be even better and less stress!
Does your husband work or just take care of the children?
How did ya'll adopt your little girl ? my sister is interested in adopting a little girl also,she currently has 2 boys.
I know the waiting list could take years to adopt.
Good Luck! ~

ok. First take a deep breath... Let it out... Now...
I am a full time college student, too. Unlike you, I do not work. I tried to work and it didn't work out. I have a son with ADD and he has alot of trouble adjusting to changes. So I had to quit my job so I can finish school. We are moving soon so hopefully I can get a part time job and go to school too.
All you can do is make every moment you have with your kids count. You have all day friday to be with them at school. This may not seem like much right now but one of these days the kids will thank you for it. Plus you have the weekends with them. I know that you are tired on the weekends but try to plan something fun to do every once and awhile.
And they are proud of you for what you are doing. Not only that, you are a good role model for your children. You are showing them that for everything they want there must be a little sacrifice. Plus you are showing them first hand what a college education can get you.
I like to show my kids my "report card" at the end of every semester so they can see that mom makes good grades like them. They think it is fun to tell their friends that mom goes to school.
And isn't it so nice to walk into the stores and not have to explain to them that you just don't have the extra money right now for an extra goodie...

Im really not sure what you are needing help with, you still need to finish your degree, just incase this job does not work out, you will have your degree to get another one. Just keep explaing to the kids, it will be over soon.

Hi H. first off you are doing a great job. You are doing everything there can be done to make sure your kids are taken care of, loved and missed. The only thing that would bother me is that you have so little time but it is ok because it is almost over. I am a stay at home mom and I admire you greatly. Stick to it you are making great strides in you and your kids future. Keep up the good work. It is already paying off alot for your family financialy and your happiness. Everyone benifets when mom is happy. It is almost over so just keep up the good work.

Keep up the good work Mom. Maybe you can save up and plan a couple of big fun trips/vacation next summer when everyone can celebrate your success, spend time together and make some really good memories

Wow, you GO GIRL! That is awesome! Congrats! If your husband is supportive, that is all you need! You are showing your children some valuable lessons: among them, that you must work hard for the things that you want and that often involves some sacrifice, and you can tell them that to avoid the same situation they need to study hard and go to college before any babies and the wife. You've got it all covered! And you are also showing your daughter that she can have it all: family, career, an education, and fulfillment! What a blessing you are to your family.

I dont know that I have any advice or words of wisdom but I feel your pain. I too am a mother of three, work full time as a paralegal, am in graduate school and am about to begin law school. No light at the end of the tunnel! I am divorced but am fortunate to have a great man in my life now and should let him do more to help me. The pay off is worth it and your kids will repsect you for it one day. I remember my mom getting her masters and studying a lot when I was young but I understand now and have a lot of respect for her sacrifices. I dont know what part of Austin you live in but I would love to find someone to maybe trade class nights with and help each other out or even a study partner.

Jen

i think you will be just fine and just always remember who you are doing this all for besides yourself you are also doing it for your family and my god your are almost done. me on the other hand i have been going to school forever since i have many thing to keep me back many times but any how i have finally got all my prerequistes out of the way and i am a couple of steps away from starting the nursing program. once i do i i will still keep my same job as an offce manager at a doctors office form 8:00 to 3:00 and then go nursing school from 3:30 to 9:30 for a whole year and i have a 7 year old and also am married. everyone says cause i am young i should not be as stressed! (i am 25) but there are sometimes i just want to cry and now that i am taking the steps to actually start nursing program it is scary. but what keeps me going is that i am doing it for my family. so you are not the only one out there, but i think the moms that have our schedules are the ones that feel guilty so we do a lot to ensure that our kids know we love them and sometimes may spoil them a bit.

H., sounds like you are doing great! Just think how proud your family will be of you and you will be so happy that you kept up the good work! I think you need a little special time for yourself to rest and relax and to think about yourself and what all you are accomplishing for your future and your family. Sounds like you are a great mother. Everything will be fine, soon. It is great that you spend special time with your children. They will always remember how much you love them. You are fortunate to have the support of your husband.God bless and take care.

Sounds like your ding a awesome job...its just an adjustment for them...which with time will be there routine. Your a SUPER MOM

I just recommended this website on another discussion but check it out. www.flylady.net

Hello H., my name is R., I'm responding to your post because this really tuggs at my heart. As a mother of 2 wonderful children myself, often I have to ask myself is I'm spending my time where it is most needed, trying to better myself so that I may better them, or just with my children who will suffer in the long run if I do not try to better our situations. You are doing an excellent job of spending your time with your children and your career goals. Your children are young and resilient and will not punish you for making their lives better. They will thank you for it. I know how it feels to have to pinch pennies to save for a new pair of shoes or anything that it needed. My husband and I are finally getting settled into a better situation for our family and it is not easy to adjust because as a mother for me it came with guilt when we bought our home, a new vehicle, furniture for our childrens' rooms and the living room, tons of guilt because I was working to contribute to it all and I wasn't accustomed to having more than I had before. I also felt guilty if I felt like I wasn't putting my children first, but then I realized that this is exactly what I want for my children, first to teach them that in order to have those new shoes or being able to get the little somethings that they may want and I can finally say yes to, then you have to work for it and when mommy is working or going to school or both, I'm working for us all. An adult would rather have grown into an adult with a postitive parental role than a negative one. Your husband is right, the worse is almost over and you are doing a wonderful job of working for your future, no more guilt. Your children are very lucky and so are you. Sincerely, R. R.

H.,

Read the book, "This is how we do it" by Carol Evans. I got it thru Amazon used for under $6. It is inspiring and eye-opening. Moms are working, building healthy careers and families everywhere. It's doable and enjoyable. I'm currently doing amazing research at BCM/TCH as a PhD... have a 2.5 yr old boy, wonderful husband (big help!), chocolate lab, three cats, lovely house... I'm doing it... others are to - and you can do it too, successfully! There's also a magazine (Carol Evans CEO - raised two kids, one very sick in the begining, maintained a marriage, bought out a magazine and excelled). Women are having both, very successfully, each and every day! Keep your eye on that diploma - you're almost done!

Hang in there. -J.

H., I'm so glad you wrote this. I have a 16 month old, a supportive husband and am taking 15 hours to finish my degree. I too work full time and wonder where the breaking point is. My driving force is that my daughter will see me finish my degree, well over a decade from originally starting it. It certainly wasn't the best decision to leave, but I know my child will have a deeper respect for the effort I put in, even if it isn't apparent immediately. And just think, it's only ONE more semester. Maybe involve your boys in planning a graduation party, that will focus them on the positive instead of the immediate perceived negative....

Wow you have a tremendous work/school/kiddo load to deal with. But it sounds like your handling it or at least balancing it as best as anyone could. Once you finish school you will have more time for yourself and your family and it seems they realize it too which is incredibly important. My advice is to hang in there and spend more time with them when the semester is through (your at midterm now right?) and whenever you get the chance.

Your a great mom and your kids and hubby understand that. Its never easy to suceed but you seem like a winner to me.

Good luck with everything and hang in there one more semester!

K.

First off... What is a Pipe Designer? Secondly how do you manage to put in 50 hours in 4 days plus schooling?

I agree with your husband.... This is just temporary considering you will be out of school in May! If it is truly your dream job then stick with it... Your kids will understand. They have fridays and weekends so make sure they know that that is there time!

Hi, congratulations on your effort in getting through school and having a family.
I think the only one that has the answer to your "problem" is you. Look inside your heart and ask yourseld what do you want. Your children will be fine if you are happy (totally) in whatever you set yourself to.
I think the money is not what you should focus. We should teach our children to go after what they love to do and the money will follow. Children really don't need any x-tra toys or even brand new shoes. They need to see us happy in whatever we do. We are extremely fortunate to live in this country where you can live comfortable on one check per family. The problem is that we are also very materialistic. We usually focus on things first and not on our passion. If we focus on our passions the money would just start coming in.
so... ask yourself are you happy in your job and getting your degree? If you are.. then tell your children how fortunate you are that you can do what you love and share your smiles with them. They will learn to follow their heart and be at peace with the time you have with them. It sounds like you do spend quality time but do it without the guilt. (they can feel it!)
If you are not happy doing all this .... Then stop and don't look back but if you are going to be resentful for not following your heart but being with your kids all the time, that will not be good for them either..
so.... sorry so long.the bottom line is.
FOLLOW YOU HEART. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE YOUR LIFE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOT EVERYONES ELSES!! there is no right or wrong way, only your way.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS G.

By the way... talking about pipes how big are they? My husband designed a product that might be of interest to your job. Please check it out. www.icengineworks.com

It sounds to me like you are a great mom and you are doing everything you can to make a better life for your children and yourself and your husband too for that matter. Remember though, that money doesn't buy happiness. It just sounds like you are having hard time balancing everything. I work a 40 hour week and have one child so I can only imagine how much harder it is for you. Don't feel guilty for not spending MORE time with your children, if you really and truly just can't. It sounds sort of like a temporary dilema... which should get better once you graduate in May. Just keep your eyes focused on the prize, and you'll be okay. =) It will be worth it in the end. You're a great mom, don't ever think any less.