Help! - Wheat Ridge, CO

I would suggest you contact the local La Leche League. They are very helpful and can give you suggestions about weaning. Call this number and leave a message and a leader will call you back promptly. ###-###-####. Good Luck, M.

Well weaning is a prosess, but the screaming and chokeing, he only does that because he knows you will give in. I have a 14 month old daughter and she has tried everything she can think of to get her way. most recently she has started banging her head against things, but she doesn't hurt herself she just looking to get a reaction out of me. So the more reaction you have the more your son will know what works. When I weaned my daughter I started with rice or oatmeal cereal and when she was hungry I offered the cereal first before anything else. I will take time, but try to stick to just one food and when that food has become a rgular part of his diet try adding another. I know it's so hard not to react when your son is having a tantrum, but try to ignore him and soon he will relize that it doesn't work to get his way. I am going through this for the thrid time and it never gets easier, but I now know what to do. I hope this will help and if you need any more help on this matter, you can contact me.

Hi W.,

I ended up breast feeding my son until he was a little over two, which was WAY longer then I originaly thought I would. I kept hearing that he would stop when we was ready, but, I too, felt frustrated and felt pressure from other people whenever I would nurse him. We just started observing him and if he went a day or two without a certain feeding on his own, that was the one I would cut out. Just do one feeding at a time, do not stop cold turkey. It needs to be a slow, transitional process. I think once we started it maybe took about two months, but he was very happy and we had no problems whatsoever. And believe me, he loved nursing so I thought it would be a lot harder then it actually turned out to be. We tried unsucessfully a few times at first, but I think because we were going off of my schedule and what I thought was best and we didn't follow his cues. But, once we started observing his cues, it was so much easier. Your baby may not be ready to stop now. The first step I did was to stop nursing as a cure for if he was upset, like when he had hurt himself. Instead, we would snuggle. Even to this day he asks, "Mommy , can we snuggle?" I cut out just one feeding at a time, based on whatever one he had less interest in. I also had my husband lay down with him for a few weeks for bedtime. After a few weeks, I tired laying down with him and he was used to not having milk at that point (since dad couldn't give him any), and he didn't ask for it from me anymore. Eventually he was down to either his nap time milk, or his bedtime milk. I wouldn't give him both. If he wanted the nap time milk, then I knew to have dad work with him at bedtime. And, I talked to him during this time so he knew mommy loved him very much. So, if he had one, he wouldn't get the other. So, for that feeding time, he would spend a couple of weeks getting used to spending that time with dad instead, then after a few weeks, I would start laying down with him again. Finally he just stopped asking for milk completely.

I know you will do great. Breastfeeding is one of the best things we can do for our babies and how wonderful that you have been doing it for as long as you can. Good luck with whatever way you decide to start weaning :)

I think the best Idea is to talk to your sons doctor or even the nurse. It seems Nurses are always more helpful because they have a little time to talk. They should be able to give you any ideas you need and also help with weaning suggestions. Good luck. I hope things work out soon for you.

Hi W.,

Try to feed him before he get hysterical. Breastfeed in the morning and offer him something he can eat with his fingers a little later. You don't say if he has a pacifier or will drink from a cup. This may be to pacify himself. Try just holding him with his favorite blank or stuff animal if it has not been that long since he last ate. He should be at the age of wanting to put things in his mouth, take advantage of that and give him finger foods. Try rice cakes, they come in many flavor and disolve easily in the mouth, put him in the high chair with the spoon and some yogurt, let him play with his food, him and the chair will clean up. At this age he should be able to eat alot of foods you eat (as long as there not hard) and you give him small bites he can chew. Put things in the blender, or mash them up, little bite size canned veggies are another thing that can be picked up be finger food. I know 8 month old eating squash that was cooked and mash up. Grahm cracker, saltine cracker disolve pretting easy too. A little tomato soup (or any kind) is fun to dip the crackers into. Cheese slices, or cheese stick (mozarella) is another finger food. Cherio, Jello chocolate milk in a cup are more things to try. At this age their growth slows way down so they don't need to eat as much as they use to. Also getting hysterical is another way of saying tantrum, if he not hungry maybe he just tired (2 most reason for tantrums). He should be taking a nap in the after noon and getting 10-12 hrs at night. You really have to not give into the tantrums because they only get worse the more you do. So, sum it all up try letting him feed him self and make sure he getting enough sleep.

I would say it is going to be really important to sit him in his highchair every time you eat, and just give him little pieces fo food to eat to try. Try all kinds of fruts, veggies, etc.. My son hates mashed foods, so if your son is the same way, I wouldn't give him any mashed food. Try avacado, bananas, peach pieces, cooked spinache and peas, etc... Make sure you don't force it, but instead make it a fun time.

Have you tried giving him pumped milk in a sippy cup? If he'll take that, you might be able to slowly start weaning him. Also, I've heard that you should start with the nursings he is least attatched to and wean those first.

If he is that upset about it, then I would just let him still breastfeed. He's still at an age where it's not "weird". Wean him slowly, one feeding at a time, and slowly introduce new foods. If you make it stressful for him and you, it's going to be a lot harder.

I think I would try mixing my breastmilk with mashed potatoes or really anything in which you add milk, making sure theres enough in it so he gets the taste, gradually substituting breast with cow milk.
If that didn't work I would try cutting his food into interesting shapes, adding food coloring for color or making patterns or faces with his food.
Hope that at least helps?

Dear W.,
All I can say is that your son will wean himself when he's ready. After he's breatfed, sit him in his high chair and put some finger foods in front of him and let him play with the food. You can try eating some and he may try to imitate you. Good luck to you.

I have a friend who's son was like this. It turned out that he was a allergic to dairy, eggs and wheat so that is why he didn't want to eat. It took her a long time to get him to the point where he was eating regular meals and she nursed him until he was 2 1/2. Her pediatrcian told her not to force the food issue. She would always offer him food at meal times and leave it up to him to eat. If you don't mind breastfeeding longer I'd suggest waiting until he is ready, maybe closer to 2. But if you are ready to be done maybe just gradually cut out one feeding every week. I did this with my daughter and it worked pretty well.. I'd give her warm milk with a little vanilla instead of the breast and she liked it. The early morning feed was the last to go though b/c it was the one she liked the best. But she eventually gave that one up too.

My son is 18 months old & we are in the process of weaning. He was the same way. I would've started weaning him earlier, but unlike my daughter - he just wouldn't eat solids - some snacky type foods, but nothing really substantial enough to keep him satisfied without breast-feeding. The problem was that he knew he didn't have to eat food, that he could have Mommy. So, I know EXACTLY where you're at. And I read a couple of other posts. After having 2 kids that would probably STILL be breast-feeding 24/7, I do not think MY kids would have EVER weaned themselves. Every kid is different, so I cannot say that yours will or will not wean himself. I would assume he won't & start weaning. DO NOT give in - that will only make it worse. Cuz they know if they cry long enough you will give in. The little stinkers are smart. If need be - leave at feeding time & be gone for a few hours. Let grandma or daddy feed him. I left & let someone else take over for a few days straight, then after that, it was much easier to do it myself. Once you start weaning, he will start eating more solid foods (not the other way around). As far as weaning goes, I took away one feeding at a time & tied to feed him food instead (which didn't always work - that's why I left). Taking away the very first feeding seemed to work best for us, then all the afternoon ones came pretty easy. If daddy is gone for the first feeding, then maybe start on a 3 (or more) day wkend. If that's not possible, then start on a Saturday morning. Then come Monday morning, plan an outing or something different, where he can eat some mini-waffles & milk in the car. Be creative. Once you get him where he knows he's not getting anymore Mommy in the morning, then you can start a breakfast routine. He won't go hungry. You're probably just gonna have to bite the bullet. I know it's hard, but once you start - it gets pretty easy fast. I'm down to last thing at night only. My son still tries to pull up my shirt, but when I say no, he knows he's not getting any. If you have any questions, please feel free to message me! and Good Luck!!

i breast fed my yongest until he was 3. but form the begining i offered him food first and encouraged him to eat some of it and offered the breast as a reward. as he got older i would place the food in front of him with a treat beide it and tell him he could have the ice cream after he ate 3 bites and then he could have the breast . he was eating a few solids after a while and then he just ate foods and breast fed only before naps and at bedtime.

Unfortunatley as Mother's one of our hardest jobs with Toddlers is telling them No. Your son knows that anytime he's hungry as long as he cries eventually you'll give in and give him his way. Toddler's seem to be a lot more stubborn than us Mom's. You have to hold your ground and not give in. He'll eat when he's hungry enough. As long as he's healthy he'll survive skipping a few meals and eventually he'll be the one giving in. I know it sounds hard but sometimes tuff love is the best thing for our children. It's less stressful for you and him if you just don't give it to him anymore. Out of site out of mind. I know you can't exactly keep them out of site but the more you give in the harder it's going to be for him to get over that time with mommy. We can't always give them their way; it's not healthy.

Hi W.. When my daughter was 14 months old she did not want anything to do with food. She wanted to breastfeed all day and night. I finally realized that no matter what, I had to stop and it was ok that she was going to cry.

Soon you will get to a point where you will can let him throw his tantrum and you won't give in. One of the worst things you can do for your son is to give in when you have already said no. You are going to turn your son into the kid who is laying on the ground at the grocery store screaming so that he can have a candy bar. Right now, this is a matter of wills and your 14 month old is proving that his will is stronger than yours.

My daughter is now 17 months and she does not breastfeed through the day. She eats three meals a day and snacks in between those meals. My next step is to wean her from any night time feedings.

W., I am sorry if I sound a bit hard but it is not easy being a mother and no matter what, YOU are the mother. You will get through this. You just have to be strong. Remember though, your son is going to need lots of hugs and comforting during this time. It's ok if he cries, just hug him.

First of all: CONGRATS Momma!!! You are a smart, intuitive, brave woman for extended nursing your little man in a culture that is slow to wake up to the undeniable benefits. I know you must be exhausted and feel like it's YOU who has to make these eating decisions for him. I just wanted to write to you and be the voice that suggests he is absolutely PERFECT the way he is. If he's eating a little bit at a time, that's wonderful. Perhaps he is a cautious little fellow and needs to take a long time to be comfortable with something. Your breastmilk is still providing a very, very large amount of the nutrients he needs. If I remember right. . . .an older nurser (2yrs old) needs calcium, protein, and general calories from "food", but vits and mins are still taken care of by the breastmilk. The alternative (to patiently following his cues and taking it slow) may lead you both to frustration and negative emotions connected to eating. If you take a deep breath, and KNOW that he is going to be a smart, happy, healthy boy from extended nursing, then maybe "food" can turn into fun exploration on his terms. Remember how they make spontaneous changes overnight in their behavior! If he's allowed to go at his own pace, one day he may decide he's totally into it. That's what happened in my house.

Another thought from my own experience: Weaning out of frustration can really send him a message that you are DONE with him being so close. While this may be true on some days, it sounds like he's being sensitive to it and really needs to know you love him unconditionally. Try incorporating even more sweet, tender, lovey time without nursey. Slowly he can learn that your love is endless and bigger than the breast! This seemed to help my little guy.

Lastly: Here's a couple GREAT links on extended breastfeeding. The first is a fact sheet, the second is a heartworming story. Good luck momma. Get in touch if you ever need more support.

http://www.kellymom.com/store/freehandouts/extended_bf_fa...

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBNovDec00p204b.html

love
A.

I definitely would go with Lisa and try the finger foods. Put him in his highchair when he is in a good mood. It does not have to be meal time. Depending on how many teeth he has, there are a wide variety of "fun" foods he can try while sitting and playing in his highchair. I would stay away from anything sweet right now, as that can become his food of choice.

My son used to love frozen peas and cooked spinach when he was that age. Everyone joked that he ate them like candy, and he did! I would also season all of my son's food, just as we did ours. I have a daycare and I season all of our food and children whose parents say they don't eat at home, eat for me:) It could just be a parent thing because I sometimes still have a hard time with my own two kids not eating, but it is worth a try. Just make it fun! Tell him that mommy has something really special for him to eat and make a big deal out of it. You can also put a few select items that you would like him to choose from and put it low on the shelf in the pantry. Put cheerios, chex cereal, rice cakes, crackers, etc. in little baggies and let him choose one to eat. His tantrums are a sign that he wants some control over the situation, so give him a few choices and make him feel like a big boy. Sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps!

I am sorry but I must say to the mom that breastfed until the age of 3... that is a bit much! When they can walk up to you and say they want to breast feed and lift your shirt and bra for it that is to much! Other than tat weening is hard and I agree with all the moms that say STAND YOUR GROUND and don't give in.. It is extremely hard but YOU CAN DO IT!

Hi W.,
The last sentence of your comment is that you finally give in. Unfortunately, kids pick up on this very easily. He knows that sooner or later you will give in, so he puts up a fight until you do. I would continue to offer food. Have you tried finger food. Cheerios are a good one to try. My daughter was not very into jar food, but little finger foods are great. Stick him in his highchair and let him try new foods with his hands. Cut up slices of cheese, cheerios, banana, andything soft. I bet he will think it is great fun to try it himself.