Help! - Apopka,FL

Updated on November 05, 2010
N.W. asks from Apopka, FL
7 answers

hi< im new here >just signed up like 2 mins before im postin my first question, guess that shows hw desperate i am.
so i have a son, hes gng to be 4 trw.thing is hes gotten very extremely bratty in the last few weeks.
he was naughty but like an enjoyable nice not disturbing kind of 'naughty'(if t hat makes any sense)
he'd always smile, talk nicely , say his 'please and thank u's', but off late, he doesnt listen to me, he jst gets aggressive and starts gruntling like maKING THESE ANGRY FACES WITH HIS TEETH, THROW WHAT HE SEES ARD, or cry ..and basically throw a tantrum.i find my self only shouting at him, its cme to such a point that i hate the sound of my own voice! ive tried bng calm with him and only shout at him when he does get out of hand but he doesnt even respiond if ud call him 5 times ...! which is so annoying, its like hes mastered the "art of ignorance". i need help, advice pls..i want to see my son grow UP ! even the way he speaks now is so whiney, i see other kids younger than him , their speech is so clear and outlined if u knw what i mean. please someone help! its his bday trw and i feel like running away :(

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C.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

N.,
He's testing the waters to see what he can get away with and what he can't,. Don't yell as you are only giving him more fuel to be acting out in a bad way. You need to get down at his level and tell him what he's doing wrong and put him in a time out, if he moves out of time out put him back in that spot ,even if you have to do it repeatedly until he stays there, using a timer also helps because then he knows and you know when his time is up. Consistency is the key ,he'll try to wear you down, but, eventually he'll get it. DON'T GIVE UP OR GIVE IN! Reward him when he has been good, he will learn what is acceptable and what isn't, it just takes time. I'd also teach him to apologize for the naughty behavior, that way when you've told him what he's doing wrong, he should be able to tell you what he did wrong too, so you know he gets it. Don't call him more than once, he is acting out to get your attention, so go right to him and let him know. As far as the whininess , ignore him until he can express himself in a big boy way and let him know that's what you expect from him. Patience will be stretched a little now and then but it all pays off in the end. Good Luck, C. S.

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R.L.

answers from Tampa on

hmmm...how do you punish him for this display? I do not have any boys but my Uncle and Aunt say that one of my cousins acted this way when he was small... he is 20 now and is still just as bad...he actually uses his parents at all costs. Not trying to scare you but he was never punished and made to understand why he is being punished? Stop him and make sure he understands why so he does not push you over the edge. Hope that helped.

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Check his diet-- behaviour and diet- cause and effect. NO SUGAR none, zip zero none, really- little bodies, all bodies really, it is awful stuff. Check out Feingold- this brilliant doc saw what food dyes, and additives do to kids behaviour, he saw it a long time ago.
Tantrums- a sure sign of problems with food.
best, k

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

If he is 5 maybe he can have a screening for Auditory Processing Disorder. If he is not responding to your voice, there is a problem in his sensory systems somewhere. Find the root of the problem. It's usually vision, auditory, and balance. The combination of deficits set these children up for big learning/behavioral problems at school and home. Get him checked by an occupational therapist who specilaizes in sensory integration, take him for a developmental vision exam, and to a pediatric audiologist for APD screening. Also ignore some of his nasty behaviors and they will fade away.

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T.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

first please next time type the full words not apprevaite cause its hard to read.

Four years, ahh i know that stage well. My daughter is almost 5 and is getting better, thanks to PRESCHOOL. Some time away from me helps us both and she is learning too. Check out Supernanny.com I get alot of my advice from her.

I tell my daughter when she whines it hurts my ears and i hear that she needs a spanking or a nap. I have whined back to her but the best way to get her to understand was a time out without her blanket. I have to have her sit where i can see her or she will play with toys like in her room. But not where she can see the tv. ANd tell her when she talks nicely to me i will talk to her nicely and then she can get up. 2 time outs close to each other equals naptime. If we are out somewhere i will leave or a timeout spot can magically appear.

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E.W.

answers from New York on

Do you use time outs? My son is 3 and we use them anytime he acts up. Give him a warning or 2 then if the behavior continues- time out. If he cries, time out doesn't start unitl he stops crying- no matter how long that may be. Be consistent. My son had recently started saying he didn't like me. I told him that hurt my feelings and not to say it. He said it again. I told him if he said it one more time he was going to time out. He said it- I put him straight on time out. And any time he said it after that- there was no warning, just straight to time out. he got the picture and doesn't say it at all anymore.
Also, as for the whining. I told my son, I'm not going to do whatever it is that he is asking until he stops whining. And I don't.
You just have to be consistent. And try not to yell. They see it gets to you and so they do it more. I was yelling at my son more and more and it seemed like he was acting worse then, than ever before. Now I am stern, but don't yell. Just stick to my word and punishment. Therefore, he knows if I say something is going to happen- it will!

Good luck and hang in there.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

My daughter is a little younger (turning 3) but she understands that if she whines she gets nothing. She has to use speak normally and then Mommy will listen. When she is angry I will tell her that I know she is angry about "X" but the answer is still no or later etc. After that come the consequences which I try to as closely as possible to relate to the crime... if she is angry because I won't let her watch a TV show, then I tell her if she keeps yelling she won't be able to watch the show tomorrow, or if she is angry about wanting a balloon that I will tell her that I take away the one(s) she has at home...

Hope this helps...

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