Help !!

S., is your son pretty young for his grade? One of my daughter's classmates was born in August, prematurely, and he just wasn't up to the same level of concentration the others were because, for all intents and purposes, he wasn't supposed to be in that grade. It sounds like a bad thing, but it's really not, to ask the teacher if he should be in kinder again.

If that's not the problem, maybe he just needs some adjustment time. It's tough going from summer vacation back to school where you have to concentrate so much. Has he been tired or irritable too?

I hope you find your answer! Good luck!

RELAX! He is 6! He has to adjust to the environment of structure and school. My son has just gotten the hang of it this year and he is in 2nd grade. His problem is/was talking out of turn. You need to help him understand school and what it is for. Don't focus so much on the negative and more on the positive, He will respond better in time. Teachers these days place a lot of blame on the child when it is there job to teach them how it works! My sons kinder teacher was always giving him sad faces inhis folder for talking. I finally had to tell her to stop complaining to me about talking because I am not there and cannot do much about it since we did not have that problem at home. SHE had to teach him the rules and he was 5 so what did she expect! I payed more attention to my son's work and his good days and less to the folder remarks and he responded much better! We also have developed a reward system. Get 2 jars and some colored stones or marbles and create a point system. Tell your son that every day he stays on task and finishes his work he will get 2 stones (or however many you want) once he gets to a certain number, he gets rewarded (playtime, movie, treat, etc). It gives him something to work for. Every morning on the way to school remind him what he is working for. He will love putting the stones in and counting how many he has. It works great for behavior too!

A question for your question.. Your not asking her infront of him how hes doing are you, because thats wrong to do and makes the child self contious. Also is he getting enough outside play time? I ask this because boys need more time to run around and play so that they can come back and concentrate on a task. I have my degree in Child Development and have been to many seminars about boys needing more time to play and when its taken away as a punishment then it can be at the detriment of the child. Also, we label children too soon too often so be careful with that. You may also look at his diet, I had a little boy that couldnt have any thing with red die in it or it would cause him to act out? So look at what hes eatting too. Hope this helps.

Have you spoken to your Pediatrician about this issue??? Maybe your son is having problems with writing... you may want to have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist to see if he is having muscular or coordination difficulties...

Just a thought!

Hi S.!
I have a little girl ur son's age. She's going to the 1st grade too. What I have noticed is that she tells me that 1st grade isn't as much fun as PreK and Kindergarten was. Could that be it w/ ur son too? How did he do before in Kindergarten?
Well, I told my daughter that she would have to make it fun herself. That her teachers as she gets older won't be interested in making things fun as much as they are in getting work done. I tell her to stack up points. If she's the first one done w/ something (or second or third ... etc.) she gets so many points. Extra if the work is done neat and correct. Points if she was good, points if she raised her hand, points if she participated, points on the words she read .........! U get the picture. At the end of the day we celebrate! Depending on how many points she has at the end we have chocolate milk and cookies as a sneck, or pb&j, or fruit, or even a candy. She likes it. It's fun now!
Don't get frustrated. If u show anger, aggression or content for work not well done or not done at all ("Fine! Get a bad grade. I don't care".) So will he. Show him excited, love for school, that ur proud of the good things he does. Don't focus on his negative a lot. Ask his teacher what he's done good as well and praise him on that. U'll do fine. U'll find ur way.
Good Luck.

You might enroll him in kindergarten or T-1. You should also consider talking to an occupational therapist about some exercises to strengthen his handwriting skills. A baby born at 25 1/2 weeks is likely to struggle for some time academically - and so much frustration right now may cause him to hate school long before he really gets into it. If he has a late birthday (turned 6 this summer), realize that he wouldn't qualify for first grade this year if he had been born on time... mentally, he really is still a kindergartener. I'm planning to homeschool to 3rd grade, at least, to avoid this issue.

You could also try to find a PACE trainer in your area - I have seen it accomplish amazing things in the realm of just making school easier - the kids can think faster and remember better. It's expensive, but in my experience worth it.

http://www.processingskills.com

S.

when my son was in first grade we went through the same thing. at first i thought it was the teacher (we were living 30 minutes from the mexico border in a fairly large town but the schools are really poor down there!!). i would talk to her and talk to her but she kept saying how bad he was doing. he wouldn't finish his work, wouldn't pay attention, wouldn't turn in his work, nothing. so, then i thought it was because we had moved so far away from our family... maybe that was his way of telling us he wasn't happy. or maybe it was because his father and i had divorced (but that had been several years earlier) so i took him to a therapist. he ended up being diagnosed with ADD. we moved back to waco (to put him closer to his family), held him back in the first grade (because there was no way he could make it in second grade), and put him on medication (for a short amount of time). i didn't like the way the medication worked so i took him off of it. every year since then i have talked to his teacher to tell them what i expect of them. how i expect them to deal with my son to make sure he gets stuff done. he just seemed to be getting lost in the classes. in waco there were 20-25 kids/classroom and there were 10-12 classrooms of each grade. the teacher couldn't give him the attention he needed to make sure things were getting done. he was still not getting his work done, we were staying up till 10pm some nights doing homework (we start homework right after school!!), and if he DID the work he would sometimes throw it away or just not turn it in. we moved to a small town in december 2006 hoping that he would be able to pay attention better and be more able to cope. the school we moved to there are only 6 kids in the 4th grade. he does not have time to goof off, look around, daydream, or anything. his teachers are GREAT and know how to deal with him. for the first time in his life he is a B student instead of a F student. he is getting his work done, turning it in, and making good grades on it. we are not having as many problems getting homework done and if he doesn't turn it in the teacher lets me know. not only that he has recess and if he doesn't get his work done then he has to stay in from recess to do it. things are getting better.

At the start of the school year, kids tend to forget almost everything and have to refresh for the new school year. DId he do Kindergarten? Socially there is probably alot of anxiety for his trying to fit in and get up to speed. How are the rest of the class doing? The only thing I can think of is asking about what was worked on in school and take a look at the assignment together early in the afternoon - then you make a "plan" and sit with him to help him with reading instructions to show him the ease for planning ahead and tell him that he can always ask for help from his teacher and at home. Routine is everything for these little ones and we have to help them to recognize schoolwork as necessary to learn to keep up with kids in class - and that they should ask for help and they will get it. If he tries that and the teacher is unwilling to spend one on one time somewhat, then you need to speak with the teacher constructively on how this should be handled best (so that you two are a team that wants your son to learn and do well. Please make it a big deal when he's all done with his work and 'see, that wasn't so scary!'

Good luck

When is your son's birthday- and in what month was he actually due? I am asking because boys especially are a little behind girls in being ready for school- and if his birthday is late (summer/August/etc) OR if his actual due date was after summer/August/etc. then he simply may not be ready for 1st grade yet- I am not saying he isn't academically ready, I am talking about social/ concentration type development. I personally think we do boys a disservice in this country by having the cut-off date for kindergarten so late in the year. I think boys (especially summer boys) do much better when they wait a year to start school. This may be something to discuss with his teacher / school / counselor. It is definitely frustrating- but it could be that they are expecting behaviour that he is simply not developmentaly ready for.

There is a good book about boys that discusses this very thing called "Raising Boys" that I really liked. It also talks about alot of other boy issues! I can't remember the author's name, but he is an Australian fellow.

If that is not the issue and it is simply that he struggles with handwriting- then additional work or tutoring just for that subject may be helpful.

Good Luck!
P.

My daughter was having the same problem. Except we asked her why she didnt want to do the work or finish. Her reply was "I already learned that why do I have to do it again. I'm bord I want to work on something else but the teacher wont let me." So we told her that every time she wanted to learn a new sentence or what ever they were working on. That we would practice at home. She also would rush threw her work on purpose because she didn't like her teacher. We ended up changing her class. Mirical babies tend to be smarter. My daughter is a mirical baby too and she catches on very quick. She is at the head of her class.

I would suggest having a parent/teacher conference to come up with a plan to use at school and at home for your son. Ask her things like what she does when he's not getting his work done, how many times does she remind him, and what the consequences for not listening are. Then you can come up with a better plan together that you can both use and he won't get confused or try to see what he can get by with. My neice was having the same problem and this plan of action worked very well for their family. They decided on a good plan which included staying after school for 30 minutes on Tue and Thur which is where all homework and unfinished shoolwork is completed with one on one help from the teacher. They also asked the teacher to STOP holding their daughter in from recess and PE as a punishment, kids NEED this active time for a release or they will just get more and more unfocused throughout the day.

It might be because he was a premee & he isn't developed like the kids that were born closer to 40 wks. Remember he's probably 3 month behind others and the schools have special programs to help if your child has learning disabilities. He's probably very smart but he's still much younger and not as mature because of that and needs that extra push.

I have fullterm babies with ADD & ADHD and they needed that little push, and the schools helped them and they are doing great now. Talk to the school and his dr.'s they might know about special programs to help motivate him.

Kids are funny and don't come with manuals. Us mothers have to stick together to get information. Good luck and remember be patient and always praise him and he will want to please you.

Actually, private school is not necessarily harder than public school, though that is a common misconception. I am a teacher in the public school system and many students come to us from private schools very behind the public school children. I can tell you right now that learning to write your name is something that public school students have to learn to do in Pre-K (age 4). By the end of kindergarten, they are expected to read - and I don't mean just words. I mean books with dialog. They must be able to write sentences and simple stories. Look at the TEKS (Texas Essential Knowledge Skills) for first grade to find out what a typical first grader is expected to do:

http://www.tea.state.tx.us/teks/grade/First_Grade.pdf