My 1St Grader

Updated on January 16, 2009
S.W. asks from Fort Worth, TX
28 answers

My daughter seems to have trouble in first grade is this normal. Since the beginning of school in August she has homework every day including weekends and days off of school. My daughter refuses to do her homework. She cries for hours while we try to help her to do her work. She tells her that she doesn't know how to do it and when we tell her what it is and ask her to repeat it she tells her she don't know it. When I go to talk to her teacher she is sitting behind a table and the children are running around doing their own thing. I'm worry about her very much. What should I do?

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So What Happened?

Okay I had a conference with the teacher this past Monday. Sheis now not doing her work in school. She is failingthe first grade. The teacher said she is going to be retained. Also haveto go to summer school. I asked the teacher if there was any way to get her tested for dislecsia. My husband is and my middle son has a speech problem and goes to theapy for it. What am to do my husband doesn't want to retain her. He says that no one in his family has repeated any grade and his duaghter will not. I told him that she is not like everyone else if it will help her then we need to do it. But it is a battle with him about this. What do I do?????

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

My advice to any parent is please don't jump the teacher before you have looked at all sides of the issue.

My daughter had the same issue. She seemed to have tons of homework in 1st grade. I had a conference with her teacher and found out that my daughter had plenty of time to do the work in class, but didn't. The teacher allowed her to take it home to finish it which appeared to be lots of homework.

Her teacher and I worked together on a time management reward system that seemed to work. If she completed her work in class, she got "tickets" to cash in at the end of the week. All of the sudden the piles of homework disasppeared.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

My first grader has definitely changed since going to public school. I have had conferences with the teacher; the principal and the guidance counselor. I would suggest that if the teacher has no control over the classroom, that you seek to have her changed to another class.

Good luck

J.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Unfortunately, it is normal, and normal isn't good. The public school style of teaching and learning only works for a very very small percentage of kids. Your daughter CAN'T learn that way. You are harming her/letting her be harmed by trying to fit her into a system that goes against the way God made her. You need to rethink what education is and how your daughter learns and then look into how you can help her to learn.

There are as many ways to educate as there are types of children, so spend a little time and look into it! You are her teacher (you taught her to walk, talk, brush her teeth, and eat with a fork--you are her teacher), and you are her mother--the only one who loves her as a mother should.

Here are some ideas to look at:

Private School
Charter School
Montessori
Charlotte Mason
Unschooling
A Beka
Sonlight
Classical Education
Eclectic
Mary Pride
Ambleside Online
...the list goes on and on.

Let me know if you have any questions, believe me, I know what it's like to go see a teacher who's chatting with other teachers while the kids watch a movie I wouldn't let in my house! I know what it's like to be overburdened with worksheets, only to be bawled out for sloppy writing. Public School really stinks, on the whole, although it has it's place, and there are some good things about it. I will never deal with it again, myself...

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter would cry and fuss over her homework. Finally, her teacher in 2nd grade (this went on for two years) gave me a test to see if she was ADHD. I worked with her for hours a night and on the weekends. I finally decided that it was torture for a 7 year old to have hours of homework a night. I went to the doctor, and got her on Conserta. The lowest dose, 18mg has changed her life. (25 dollars a month on insurance) If you are against this, ask yourself.. would you deny her insulin if she had diabetes? Nobody is perfect. Take care of her now so that she can get the reading basics, they stop reading testing in 3rd grade and you don't want this to hurt her self esteem. I know what I am talking about. Good Luck

L.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I taught 1st, 2nd and 3rd grades for 9 years in a great district before becoming a SAHM. My school consistently achieved Exemplary ratings on TAKS. It is not unusual for a 1st grader to have minimal homework every night and an occasional project that carries to the weekend. What we don't know is if she is not finishing work in class and having to bring it home. Your daughter sounds like she needs an intervention, as she doesn't understand the work and is stretching it for hours. I would make an appointment with the teacher and if that doesn't resolve it, the principal. It sounds like you are just walking into the classroom and trying to address the teacher during class time. That has never been appropriate in any school/grade I've taught in or heard of. There is no way to judge what is going on in the classroom without talking to the teacher. From what you describe, it could be that they are in centers at the time you are entering the classroom, which could appear to be unorganized to an outsider. I would specifically ask about tutoring (it was mandatory for all struggling students in my school--starting with 1st grade). They definitely have a game plan for struggling or bubble students (assuming there isn't a deeper learning issue--that is a whole different story); you need to find out what it is for your daughter. Try to work with your teacher first and if it is still not resolved (ie. addressed with some kind of intervention) by next reporting period, assess whether or not to move her to another class.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Um - 3 things.

1. Get your daughter's ears and eyes checked by a professional.

2. Switch teachers.

3. Ask for a referral to an educational psychologist from your pedi if your daughter doesn't show some serious improvement within 6 weeks.

You should also plan for a repeat in First grade.

S.

I'm in Iowa Park - I haven't had any trouble yet, but should we not be able to switch from an inept teacher - or find that the educational system just isn't working for us, I will either do Online Public School through Connections Academy, a Charter school (Bright Ideas), or Homeschool.

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J.P.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Fight for your daughter and her right to learn. It will only get harder if she gets behind. Find out if she is being pulled out for reading. Does she need dyslexia testing, speak to the school counselor about your options. Is the teacher teaching or forcing the kids to try to learn in chaos. It is your right to know and your job to find out. We've had terrible trouble with spelling words especially, since the first grade. My oldest is now in 5th and has tested dyslexic. None of the teacheres suggested testing her in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th. They just let her struggle and left me wringing my hands. Finally I insisted on testing and sure enough there is a real problem. Sometimes the teachers are just tooooo 'busy' to stop and notice. Fight for your kid. She has the right to learn and it is the teachers job to teach her in a way that she can learn and your job to make sure that it happens.

Good luck to you!!
J.
http://J..yoursmh.com
IC

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Have a reward system. If your daughter completes her homework, she gets thirty minutes or however long of television. Take away other things she might like doing/having after school. If this does not work, have her tested for ADD. Talk to the principal of the school regarding the unruliness of your daughter's classroom. Good luck.

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C.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

Give her things that are fun to do AFTER she has done her work. Do her home work with her, ex if she does 2 you'll help her with one of her problems. I'm sorry, but things will get better. My son did the same thing and now he is reading a lot better.

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would talk to her teacher get some insight to what she says. But, keep in mind that the teacher migt feel that you are attacking her by the way you say things. If you feel you haven't gotten anywhere talk to the countslor. If the teacher is not doing her job they will find out. In the mean Dyslexia it was talking him 4 hours to get work done where it took others 30 min to an hour to do theirs. Its hard to understand things mainly if your a child who have this. But some schools won't test for it til third grade. Once we put him in a program designed for his Learning Disability he could do things better. Now he is 14 yrs old he knowns how to study and can do things better complete his work. They helped him learn how to break problems down. They put him into classes that were one on one. Not saying your girl may have a disability But, it maybe something to look into after all else has been cleared. My son would shut down when he would come home he would cry and say he couldnt do the work or didnt know how, they have the children focus on one problem at a time if he didnt finish all the work then they took that as for the grade they let him work at his speed. If he had trouble in regular class he was allowed to leave to go to his other class for this and they would help him break kit down and show him how he can complete the work. Good luck its hard but you will find away to help your little one.

T.

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R.O.

answers from Dallas on

That homework load is NOT appropriate for 1st grade! Go to the principal now and have a discussion. Move to a new teacher. Make the teacher accountable and have your daughter stay after school with her for 30 min to work on homework with her. Obviously there is a disconnect with this teacher.
That is ridiculous!!

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

If that's what her classroom looks like, I would definitly get her a new teacher. I am all for working out problems but some things are just non-negotiable ...at school our children are to be cared for and tought. If she lets her kids run around like mad and your daughter doesn't understand the assignment at hand then of course she would fall behind. I have a first grader, she has just as much homework as your daughter but I couldn't imagine her crying over it, she loves school! My kindergartner feels the same as well! Children deserve to have an enjoyable time at school. I would put her in another room and see if there are any improvements : ) good luck!

*I must add (after reading the post below mine), with Dyslexia, the student would still understand the task, they would just have a hard time doing the task (reading, writing, spelling, math, etc. ). Like, she would understand that she is supposed to write her spelling words three times each, but she would have trouble reading her words and re writing them. I was diagnosed with it when I was 9 and it is hard living with it, but you learn to manage.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Wow!! This teacher sounds like she is crazy. My middle daughter is in 1st grade and only has homework twice a week and has to read 10 mins mon-friday. I would contact the vice pricipal or principal. And keep moving up till the problem is fixed. That is crazy she would have homework everyday. That is just too much for a 1st grader. If she is having trouble with her subjects the teacher should be giving you practice sheets to do on you own time. Also the school counsler should also be able to get you help if she is having trouble in class.

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A.T.

answers from Dallas on

In fairness to the teacher it is probably best to address your concerns during her conference time.

After your conference, if things are not getting better, try sending out feelers of others parents how their children in your daughter and other 1 grade classes are doing with their homework.

Lastly, try setting up a routine... Unfortunately homework will be constant and the load will only increase. Coming home, talking about the day, eating a snack, doing homework, then playtime... etc. Whatever works for your daughter... This is something she is going to have to do until she finishes school...

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

I also have a first grader that is not wanting to go to school or do homework and does not seem to be reading at the level I think he should be reading. I am at a loss too!! I would love to hear what advice you get. We are in Plano schools.

S.

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J.I.

answers from Dallas on

If you have already spoken with the teacher, during her conference period, or when it is kid free, I would talk to the counselor next and possibly the principal. Sounds like this teacher is over working them. Has she always been a elementary teacher, or did she once teach higher grades?

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

To start I would arrange a parent teacher conference. The teacher should have time for this and if not I would contact the principal. She should have some advice how to handle it. Also try letting her take a break with a snack prior to doing homework but dont wait untill close to bedtime. You can also try to make it fun. Make up a game and always give positive feedback about how smart she is.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Sometimes you have to make everything into a game when it comes to doing homework. Maybe you should get a bag of candy and everytime she gets the answer correct you should give her a treat or tell her after doing her homework she can have a piece of candy for doing good...Also always make everything sound exciting and fun always tell her she's going to do so good!Thats what may help her at home...Aslo i would schedule a conference with the teacher about what she could possibly do to make things more exciting or you could see what suggestions she may have anything to help her through this. Also if they have a tutoring program after school that maybe another suggestion for your child to get a more one on one with the teacher so she can get a feel of what may help without having all the other students in the class.Good Luck and best wishes!!

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

S.,
Bless your heart, I would take the advice of the other mothers too. Talk to the teacher, and if you have too, make it after school when the other kids are gone and it's quiet. Also, make it fun to learn. Maybe even play "school" with her, let her be the teacher time to time and have her give you homework to do. I know they give kids a lot of homework compared to when we were kids. I don't think the schools do enough of physical exercises either, when I went we had recess 2-3 times a day plus PE every day. I think it was good because kids need to burn that energy to focus. Maybe that is something else you need to do with her, have her run around and play for 30 minutes before doing some of the homework, maybe she just full of energy and needs to burn it off. When my middle son was 3-4, I remember in the evening he would say, I have too much energy to burn lets go on a walk... We would take a walk every night practically. You have to make learning fun to her, be creative and make time. Maybe have a reward system like the other mother said with candy or stickers, buy a pack of those star and when she gets 10 or 20 take her to her favorite place, something she loves to do.
Good luck and God Bless!

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 14 yr old and I am a substitute teacher in elementary school.

First of all, after reading these responses, I think it is wrong to automatically come down on the teacher. Yes, there are good and bad teachers and we have had our share as well. Are you saying that EVERYTIME you go to the her classroom the teacher is sitting and kids are running wild? I do know that students have specified time for centers and stations for the desk work, group work and computer work. As a substitute and volunteer, I have seen many students waste this time, therefore, the unfinished work results in work completion during recess and if not completed at that time, home work. There are some students who NEED the extra attention and time to review and complete assignments. Those students are identified and usually will get one on one or small group attention from the teacher.

The first graders where I sub don't have more than 1 page of homework and are asked to read.

I would FIRST speak with the teacher and let her know your concerns. See how she responds to you. Also, go observe the classroom when your daughter and teacher do not expect you. IF after a conference and observing you are not satisfied, I would go to the counselor and then step up. I would not make my first step over the teacher's head. She/he has a right to know how you feel about the class and what is going on.

Yes, it sounds like your daughter has a lot of homework. I agree with other posters that learning needs to be fun. Of course you need to be proactive with your daughter to ensure she gets a good education which involves any extra testing, tutoring, etc.

Best wishes.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

S.,
As a former PreK teacher with FWISD for 15+ yrs, it
is so very disturbing to know the amount of homework your
1st grade daughter has been assigned. Not only is
the amount of work EXCESSIVE(especially for her age),
it is unfair and ridiculous!
If I were you, I would immediately schedule a parent-teacher
conference with your child's teacher and tell her you feel
the amount of homework is unrealistic. (No wonder your
daughter is acting out...It sounds like she is reacting to
undo stress & anxiety.) If the teacher does not HEAR what
you are saying, then definitely take it to the principal.
To be fair to the teacher, she needs to know that you are
concerned enough to talk to the principal if the amount of
homework continues to be the same.
I recently printed off an online article concerning excessive amount of homework. I was going to pass this info
on to my sister, a counselor at a private school, as this
issue can get out of hand at other schools as well. She,
you, I must be advocates for these children and speak up for
them on these issues when/if they arise.
I would be happy to fax or mail you a copy of this article
so you have some ammunition with you when you talk to the
teacher. Just let me know your fax # or mailing address.
Blessings,
C.
P.S. The title of the article is "Kids overworked? Join the less-homework revolution Fed-up parents are changing the way schools think-and you can, too"

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

Homework everyday for a first grader is excessive. I'm almost certain her behavior is because she is overwhelmed. Is it actual homework she's doing or is it material she's not finishing in class? It might be possible that the teacher does not have a handle on the class and sends home the work that should have been done during class time. That could explain the reason she doesn't understand, the teacher is not effectively explaining the concepts.

I have a first grader too, so if he were in this situation I would do 2 things.

1. Make an appointment for yourself & her separately with the school counselor. You need to relate the behaviors you've observed and what has happened when you've talked to the teacher. And for your daughter, she might be more willing to open up and talk to someone who's not Mom & Dad. Once the counselor has seen both points of view, she should be able to determine what the real problem is. It might be as simple as switching teachers.

2. I would speak to the principal about your concerns about the teacher and the amount of homework she receives. Try running a copy of the weeks worth of homework so you have actual proof. The principal may not agree with you - I find a lot of educators give you that "it's not our fault, they need to know this for the TAKS" excuse. At least this way, you've gone on record with your concerns.

Here's some food for thought. As I mentioned before, my son is a first grader, like you, he's my first of 3. I had him enrolled at Timber Creek Elementary in Flower Mound for Kindergarten. The year he started, the school had gone from an Exemplary rating to an Acceptable rating. I noticed that in Kindergarten - 5 & 6 year olds had homework due every Friday and as an advanced reader, he had to read a book each week and write a couple of sentences describing it. In mid-year, we moved to Plano and he attended Hedgecoxe Elementary. The new school was rated Exemplary and there was only the occasional homework work sheet. So I guess my point is that his old school was probably trying to compensate for their low rating by starting a rigorous curriculum for the youngest students so that by the time they reach 3rd grade & start TAKS, they can perform well.

Also, in 1st grade right now, my son gets a short chapter book. He has 2 weeks to read it and a small packet of worksheets to turn in on Friday of the 2nd week. On occasion, he'll have the odd 1 page work sheet to finish during the week. That's it for homework. We pace him by having him read a couple of chapters a night the first week and when she's done a page or two of worksheet a night on the second week. A couple of times he has brought home some work that he didn't finish in class or he had to re-do due to messy handwriting, but it's rare.

I hope this helps a bit.

K.

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S.P.

answers from Dallas on

As a teacher, I am appalled at that classroom management. Seek professional help for your child through the school, don't stop at the teacher, (but always start with him/her) ask for a meeting with counselors or principals or whatever. Please be careful to not be accusatory toward the teacher, but concerned for your child. Get help for your child so that she can have a positive attitude on school, learn to love learning, and become somewhat compliant regarding homework. You are the mom with the responsibility for how your child is schooled. So find out what the school can offer your child for a better learning environment as well as you knowing how to help your child learn.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I just had a few thoughts for you.
1. Immediately request parent/teacher conference meeting to discuss what may be going on. They have conference time daily.
2. Findout if your child is not completing work at school thus these are assignments being sent home to complete in addition to homework. I know for my son, this happens all the time. He has behavioral issues. However, I would think the teacher should've contacted you about that.
3. See if there are any learning concerns the teacher has for your child and her advice. Agree on a way you both can help your child for consistancy and mutual support
4. If after you try with the teacher and still feel her running of the class is the problem, request a meeting with the principal and counselor. The counselor can observe her class as well. If they are that out of hand all the time, they will not be able to shape up for the observation.
5. Maybe even consider breaks in between homework. For every 20-30 min of work, she can break off for 10-15min. But the amount of homework sounds extreme.

Good luck and tackle this issue before it gets too out of hand!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

S., K and 1st can be overwhelming. There is a big difference between "controlled chaos" with a teacher that is involved, has heart and passion, and is teaching the students and just plain "chaos" with a checked out teacher who is there just to collect a check. I've seen both kinds! 2nd grade seems to be much more structured... However, the tantrums over homework seem excessive. First things first-- make sure your child does understand what she is learning and not frustrated because of an inability to comprehend the material. Is she reading? If she is capable, then it could be laziness, but that is an excessive response. I would definitely contact the school counselor. Ours is GREAT, and he has helped many kids who felt overwhelmed by the classroom environment. The counselor can do a world of good if he or she is even remotely capable at the job. Our school also has volunteers who can come in, pull the child out, and start the homework with them to make sure they are comfortable with it. Use your school's resources!
Good luck!

PS: After reading some other responses, i'd like to respectfully add, that we don't know enough about the teacher to judge her. All we know is the reaction of the child, and a counselor could get to the bottom of the source of her frustration. It isn't true that everytime a child struggles in school that it is the teacher's fault! Sure, there are bad eggs, but this is way over assumed in our society! I teach college, and trust me, those assumptions still exist there-- falsely! Also, she shouldn't approach this as an attack to anyone... she should simply explore all resources and avenues for helping her child deal with school... it only gets harder!

PPS: I have a first grader... she also has homework every night. This is not uncommon. In addition to written homework, all students at our school, K-5, are required to read for at least 20 minutes per night. Obviously they can be "read to" in the lower grades. A first grader's written homework is typically 20 min. per night. My 3rd grader obviously has more than that! Hopefully all of this hard work and dedication from the parents and students will pay off with a society that is more on par in the educational arena!

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

Wow, that sounds like a lot of homework for a first grader. First, talk to the teacher about all your concerns. She needs to know your child is crying about homework. If you think the teacher is not doing a good job, speak to the principal and other parents in the same class and ask their opinions. If your daughter continues this way, she will end up disliking school which is terrible. Be an advocate for your child. If you sense something is not right with either the teacher or if you suspect your child may have a learning disability, YOU need to take action. I don't know if you are in public or private, but if it is public, you can ask to have your child tested for learning disabilities free of charge.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would talk to the teacher and ask if it seems like she knows the material. If it's just a homework issue, then I'd try to love and logic approach. Tell her she doesn't have to do her homework and let her deal with the consequences of that action. At my kids' school they have to sit out at recess if they don't do their work. Check with the teacher to make sure that there is a logical consequence for her not doing her homework and then let it play out. This only assumes that she does know the material (and that the homework battle isn't because she doesn't understand it and thus gets frustrated) and that there is no ADD issue or anything like that.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

Go visit the principal and give your concerns. I taught 1st grade for 13 years and can say that my students had about 15 mins of homework...tops...and that was not every night. She should not be getting homework over the weekends, etc. How ridiculous....this teacher is creating an environment that is going to turn these precious little ones AWAY from school instead of creating a love for school. You have a REAL concern and you need to let the principal know what is going on.....Good luck.

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