Help! - Amarillo,TX

I think Diedre gave you the best advice.

I taught preschool and have worked with kids with these problems (ADD, ADHD, Epilipsey included). The best thing was structure, activity, and diet. The combination will help get him through his rough patches and make the easier times so peaceful. ;-)

He is most likely also acting out due to the man leaving. It is really hard on kids, and when they are this young they have trouble expressing it. Then you add the health issues and it is just that much harder.

Just try to remember he is only a child and doing the best he knows how, then try to show him better ways to express himself and to keep busy.
Good luck,

Wow. I don't know what to tell you, but i'm praying for you and your kids. I cant even imagine what you are going through, but know that my prayers are with you. I would just try to keep Cameron occupied. Give him activities and things to look foward to. I'm glad he has his grandpa as a father figure while Jason is away. That will help out tremendously! Good for you for not giving Cameron medication.I agree with you on that, but if it gets to be too much for you to handle, i would look into something natural. There are so many natural remedies for things like adhd. And as for Cameron not obeying you, try a rewarding game. and also stick to your guns. if you say No you mean NO and dont' give in to anything. He's young enough, he'll soon realize you are the boss. A lot of kids act that way when they are unsure or in an unstable environment, such as his only father figure going away. So, just spend as much time with him as possible and keep him very busy. and give him major rewards and a sticker chart for obeying you and being good. Well, once again, i'm praying for you. Keep up the good work, Supermom!

Have you tried talking to your son and helping him to express the way he is actually feeling? Spend time coaching him into expressing his emotions, like "I know you must be sad and a little lonely now that jason isn't here with us, I am sad too. Maybe if you wrote him a letter everyday telling him how much you miss him and how much you wish he were here with us it would help." Try and get your son to open up about the things that he is actually missing about jason, specifically. Explain to him about jason's job, and how he has to go away from time to time, but he always comes back. It sounds like your sone is just having trouble expressing himself and is acting out on those unexpressed emotions. You have to help him idetify those feelings verbally so that hewill be less inclined to throw a tantrum or act out. Hope this helps!
a

Hi, well coming from a mom that has a child with ADHD and Bipolar medicine was our only choice for his safety and everyone else. But your son is too young for medicine right now anyways. Everyone told us your son is spoiled but the doctor confrimed something was wrong. It took several years after he was diagnoised with ADHD at the age 4 that we found out he has Bipolar too. Some kids just out grow the tamtrums. I have come across a few parents that were they were told their child has ADHD when in fact they don't. If it is true your child has ADHD, you need to pick your battles and let the doctors decide if medicine is right for them. My son now 12 1/2 has been on medicine since he was 4 1/2 years old, with trial and error he has the right combination and he can function like most normal children other wise he was very violent without medicine. Don't use medicine as your first choice but never rule it out for his health or safety.

Keep in mind we chose medicine because we could not take him anywhere, walmart, dinner, movies, other peoples house, he did not do well with other kids, or loud noise's about 70% of the time. We were also told by some to watch what he eats but that did not help either.

Other things to think about. What did he do during the day that he is fine till he got home? Did he need a nap to rest himself? Zachary had to be doing something with his hands to keep him occupied and from blowing up. I know it was a bad thing but hand held games kept our sanity when we had to keep him busy or go someplace with him, a doctor even said he is the type that had to keep his hands busy when he was bored. Watch what he does, write a daily log to find out what makes him mad and what make him happy. Do you give more attention to his sister cuz she has epilipsey and he sees that? Track it when you can and it will help you and any profesional if you need to get help in the future if/when you go that route.

If you have anymore questions about what my ex-husband and I went through please e-mail me.

Try enrolling him in a karate class. Some karate classes take children as young as 3 yrs. old. Karate is excellent for physical and mental training. My neice started when she was 3 and has been going off and on for about 5 years. She is now a blue belt. My wife and I also took Hapkido with our son when he was 5-7 years old and we all had a blast(he decided to switch to baseball and basketball though because all his friends were on those teams). Karate is even better if you and your daughter can enroll, since it will be something you will all have in common. Karate is also something that all kids relate to and usually love, since many current movie and TV actors use karate (Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, Neo from The Matrix, Batman, etc.) Karate is also where kids can beat up on their brother and sister (in a controlled environment) and not get in trouble, so this makes it pretty cool for them. It's also excellent exercise for you and the kids, and will take away some of that excess energy that hyper kids have. The physical training and also the interaction with others will help you son stay focused.

Is he in basic? If not have him call once a day and remind your son that he's the man of the house and that he has to listen to mommy. When will you be joining him if that will happen? If you are going to join him have a countdown and have him help out w/ that as well. Tell your fiancee to talk to the little man and reassure him that things are ok and the he's the man of the house. I hope this helps.

Try setting up a "reward system" .. sticker chart for him to have a sticker when he does what you ask him to do... when he gets ?? # of stickers he gets 5 minutes on the computer or something he wants to do.

Try to explain to him that your fiance is at work and will be back... in the mean time he can draw pictures, make cards, etc. for your fiance or other activities that will keep him busy.

You need to be the authority now..and he needs to understand that you are serious.

Good Luck!

J.

Bless you for going through quite a bit right now. With all of these changes, some sad, some not, we all are stressed including your son. Maybe his behavior is enhanced by his sadness and frustration about your boyfriend leaving; your son may very well be feeling your stress and frustration and reacting accordingly. How about sports, a peewee team where he can be a part of something bigger. He'll get plenty of exercise: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
How about diet? Refined/processed foods (white sugar, white flour, stripped grains, packaged food, SODA)have been linked to behavioral problems in all of us: depression, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, hyperness. A whole-foods diet can be the way to go, especially for children. Knocking out refined sugar, incorporating more fruits and fresh, green vegetables can help everyone. Changing ones diet doesn't happen over night, but can be done gradually. The sooner the better.
These are a few ways you can help your family. You need also to nuture yourself in these stressful times. How about a nice, warm bath after the kids are asleep. Maybe one afternoon a week take some time for yourself and do something you enjoy to help you relax.
If all else fails a nice day at the beach can muster up some miracle healing.
Blessings,
T.

I would suggest you look into your childrens' diets. There is a lot of researcho out there that suggests that dietary changes can have tremendous influence on various illnesses. If you watched Oprah yesterday (discussing autism with Jenny McCarthy)you would have heard that Jenny McCArthy was able to double her autistic son's vocabulary by eliminating dairy and gluten (results showed in two weeks.)

My husband is a chiropractor and deals with this stuff all the time. I'm sure any holistic healthcare practitioner would be able to advise you on dietary changes that could improve your son's, and daughter's, situation.

I wish you all the best in adjusting to the changes in your life. I hope it all gets better soon!

If you haven't done this lately, re-read the response by Tippi S.!!! She is spot on. I have a two year old and already do a daily routine checklist everyday with her. I have it posted on poster board right on the refrigerator. Also remember that ADHD is HUGELY overdiagnosed. My stepson was evaluated by 3 "experts" and they all reported something different. One said "whopping case of ADHD" one said "none at all" and one said he was in the middle.
REREAD Tippi S and follow her advice! The sooner you get organized the better you will all feel. Good luck!

Poor Cameron, I bet he must feel like he's been abandoned. Do you have a picture of Jason and Cameron that you can let him carry around? As far as the ADHD goes, I have a girlfriend whose son was diagnosed with ADHD. She somehow learned that some children have an allergy to red dye found in certain foods. She eliminated that from his diet and he no longer had ADHD symptoms. He also stopped sleep walking. What we feed our children greatly affects them.

Aw that poor baby.... Jason must have been very good to your son and as a divorced parent also, that is number one to me that whoever is in your life loves your children. Maybe you can try getting a few pictures of Jason and telling him Jason is coming home soon and he wouldnt want you to act like this. Im not sure if that would work but its worth a try. He is going to miss him just as much as you do. Tell Jason thank you for me for all he does and has done in the marines. We dont thank them enough for what they give up for us to have our freedom and safety. God bless you L. ____@____.com

Hey,
Girl, as a military spouse I can affirm that it is normal for a child to act out when a family member is absent. From the way it sounds, Jason is a member of your family and he's respected by your children. The best way that I dealt with absences and deployments is to establish a firm schedule so that my kiddo knew what to expect and knew she could count on a stable environment. Good luck with your situation and keep us posted.

Hey Hon!!

First of all, take a deep breath. I have epilepsy as well as ADHD and have an ADHD child as well as 4 others (one child is special needs in the mix too) AND I'm a single mama. Stress will cause more seizures in the epileptic child. It is one of my main triggers. For the ADHD child, you will have to keep him engaged. What I mean by that is, having him continually doing something. Have him color, with supervision, and when he's finished with that (it no longer holds his interest), have him sit with you (in your lap) and read to him.... Keep the variety up. Have time for him to run around outside, and time to sit and be still inside. He needs some SERIOUS structure. Now. If you'd like to call and talk about how I discipline my kids and what I've found works, feel free to Email me and i'll give you my contact information. I have found the key to discipline is consistency.. Do the same thing every time. Yelling won't help. Whisper more than yell as they HAVE to concentrate on what you say. Plus, the ADHD child tends to focus on things that are NOT the dominant focal point (the softest drip of a faucet over the teacher instructing the class). They need understanding and gentleness in their care more than the average child.

HTH
L.