Help - Columbus,OH

try time outs in the bathroom. yes, the bathroom. i just started doing this with my son and it's worked wonders! he either sits on the floor (not my ideal) or the toilet with the seat down or the side of the tub. his time out time starts when he stops crying/whinning/talking. I started this on Friday and yesterday he went right in there, sat down and was quiet and we were done. no distractions, if he needs a drink, its there, if he needs to go to the bathroom, he's already there! good luck!

Look at www.oneweekparentingmiracle.com. I've done some in depth training on this program and I use it for my two kids. I highly recommend it! It has worked wonders with their behavior and I feel much more in control. Good luck with your little girls, I know how hard it can be!

this has nothing to do with "going on 16"......my 16 yr old (now 20) would NEVER think of hitting, spitting & calling us names..........this is from lack of discipline & she is not trying to run the show, she is running the show...........if i give my kids (2, 4 & 5) a "look" they know i mean business...............if you don't think there is something mentally wrong with her then start reading books & MOST importantly have follow through on consequences, No empty threats,& dont give up, thats were you went wrong

She's learning this behavior from somewhere. Where ever she's seeing it, the source needs to be cut off. If it's the TV, no more of the TV shows that have people acting like this. Same with computer games. Where ever she has her time outs, make sure there are no toys or entertainment. Good behavior will earn what ever she enjoys, other wise she will go without until she learns to respect her family.

About to start reading the Magic 123 book for helping with many behaviors. I have heard many good things about it. That might be good to look into. If your friends don't have a copy , go to Amazon.com or any local book store.

Take your child to counseling. You will both be glad you did in the long run.
Best wishes

Time outs never worked for me with either child. I find that taking away something seems to have better effect. For example if she usually gets an hour of tv, when she says something inappropriate say "I don't like it when you say that, we don't use that type of language in our home", if she does it again, tell her again and give her a warning "The next time you use language like that you're going to loose 15 minutes of tv time". In order for this to be effective, you must follow thru.

My youngest did the same thing at that exact age. We finally had to stop letting her watch shows like I Carly, and Hannah Montana. Because the girls in these shows act that way so Sydney thought she could too. Hope it helps. Suzie

I have watched super nanny and there was a show about the same actions of a child. Do not remember what the discipline was but do know it had to do with timeouts and taken/earning privaleges. There has to be an underlying issue as to why your child does this. You better nip it in the butt now while she is young and before your 3 yr old really thinks it is ok. You need to stick to whatever punishment you give. If she is 5 she will stand in timeout in a specified area of the house for 5 minutes, explain to her why and walk away. If she moves out of that spot, you take her back to it and restart the time etc..etc.. until she stands there for her 5 min. Then when she has, you explain to her again why she was in timeout and ask her to apologize, kiss and hug. And it is now forgotten.

This needs to be repeated until the behavior stops!! Good luck

Respect is something that is TAUGHT. She needs to learn to have respect for authority, others and herself. Might want to pick up a copy of RAISING RESPECTFUL CHILDREN.

How much have you talked about life skills in your home? Respect, Integrity, Honesty, Goal setting, understanding prioities, etc? If not, it's NOT too late.
Make sure you have house RULES AND talk about the consequences when they are not followed. DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT give in. Otherwise, she knows she can get by with it and will not respect either of you no matter how mad she gets. OH, WELL......being a kid is also about LEARNING how to be a respectful, responsible adult....it just doesn't happen.

This kind of behavior is learned....
- is she in school?
- does she have friends that talk that way or have that attitude?
- do the caretakers or grown ups around her act/talk like that?
- Does she watch teenager shows already? These deeply influences little girls... directly and negatively. And it is not age appropriate. I know of many many preschool girls who already watch "Hannah Montana", iCarly, Zack & Cody etc. Not real good influences. Even the Teachers complain of that. These are TEENager shows... not 5 year old shows.
- does she get consequences? Disciplined?
And yes, in school, the 'sassy girls" (as one Teacher called it) all tend to hang out together....

If you do not nip this in the bud NOW, you are in for it! The only way that any discipline will work is if you implement it at the FIRST sign of the misbehavior or the disrespect..... SO, at the first indication of this ATTITUDE,
say firmly, "You are NOT to speak to us in that way!" or " That behavior is disrespectful " or "Spitting is not acceptable behavior!) and then you take her immediately to the time out spot (a completely boring spot that has nothing in or around it to distract her), and she must stay there for 5 minutes. If she gets up, take her back and reset the timer, as many times as necessary until she gets the idea that you are not kidding....no talking or arguing allowed! At the end of the time, remind her why she was there, then she must apologize, give her a hug, and then she may get up.If she will not cooperate, reset the timer! It will take you doing this EVERY SINGLE time she shows this attitude, for you to get through to her that such behavior will NOT be tolerated in your home/family.
Start NOW unless you want the next 13 years to be hell! Also, read books by Dr. John Rosemond for help, watch SUPERNANNY, and read NOBODY SAID IT WOULD BE EASY by Dan Kiley. AND, your 3 year old can spend 3 minutes in a time out spot if necessary, and it works the same way for her.

Updated

I forgot to say that you might want to think about where she is getting such ideas from,,,,playmates, TV shows etc. and monitor her more closely. Do not hesitate to cut off any undesirable influences that might be fueling her disrespectful behavior and language.

"taping that butt"... this is alarming. I'd go see a family therapist if I were you. She may be reacting to something going on that is bothering her at home. Your focus should be on what is bothering her, not how to better control her.

Honestly, I think a lot of behavior like this comes from TV. I have a 6 year old girl that likes to act 16 too, but not in that way. Even some of the seemingly innocent "Disney" type TV shows have some of that behavior. I've watched some of them with my daughter and was surprised at how the kids act towards the parents (if there even are any!) and talked to my daughter about it. We've talked about why it isn't polite to act that way, why it hurts peoples feelings, why certain behaviors are wrong, things like that. Also, try to figure out if any of this comes from friends or their frends' brothers/sisters. What they see go on at others' homes can be brought back to yours! Hope this helps!

Well, I think maybe bad words should be washed out of her mouth with soap. Maybe time outs should be no activities for the weekend or special events she wants to go to. Threats like no birthday party this year if she keeps up her attitude. (Follow through with this)....Don't say things you don't back up......You and your husband need to agree.. Also, I took a parenting class and they discuss things like that...Good luck....She needs to know who's the boss or she will be the boss, and you will have trouble forever..